Questioning Lessons, Wants, Trust, Positivity, and Change

 

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”

-- Leo Tolstoy

Have you ever been grateful for something negative in your life?

I am so grateful for my ex-wife. If she hadn’t forced the divorce I would have been miserable the rest of my life. As it is, I have found true, sustainable, happiness. God bless her little heart.

What could be considered bad conduct by a politician?

Groping a constituent.

What's the most important lesson you've ever learned?

Stay out of debt. Debt means you belong to somebody until the debt is paid. In this, you support yourself in order to work for them. Look at your debts and ask yourself how many people you work for? Slavery hasn’t ended, they just have a new tactic. It isn’t what's in your wallet, as much as it is who, and I think we can replace the term “slave” with “bitch.” Just saying.

Are sourcerers good or bad?

Is this a new name for folks that source stuff, or, did you mean “sorcerers,” instead?

What does it really mean to be selfish? And why is it often misused?

How can you misuse this, unless you have no idea what it means? Let’s look at the definition, which is pretty cut and dry: “Lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.” Yep! This would be selfish, alright.

“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.”

-- Oscar Wilde

Why do we hide our good deeds?

Maybe we don’t want the attention. Maybe we are humble, like a shadow in the night. Maybe we are selfless, requiring no accolades to prove our worth.

What are the ulterior motives behind vengeance?

As a Sicilian, I’d be sending a message to other people not to mess with me or mine. 

Why does it seem like the same things happen to me every 10 years?

Ah! The ten-year cycle. Mine stopped after the messy divorce of a 25-year marriage. Maybe a total shock to the system inhibits the cycle from repeating. 

Does knowing what you really want and exerting effort to achieve it bring you closer to success?

It brings you closer to attaining your goal. Success is being happy always. People always try to confuse the two. If you’ve attained your goal, but you aren’t happy, are you seriously successful? No. When you have attained your goal and you are truly happy in your life, you are successful. A miserable sonofabitch is not a success, I don’t care how many goals he’s attained. He needs to lift himself up out of misery and stop being a sonofabitch, if he truly wants to find happiness and success.

Should the person faithful to the service be placed as the leader?

Only if they’ve earned the position. There are plenty of “faithful” assholes not deserving of leadership.

“To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.”

-- Eleanor Roosevelt

How do you keep the ego from derailing your efforts to become a great leader?

Understand that leadership has no room for ego. Leadership isn't all about the title.  Leadership is all about humility, listening, understanding, teamwork, the bringing of people together to work toward a common goal, problem-solving, thinking out of the box, and sharing the spotlight with those who helped along the way. If you take any one of these away, the leader will not be much of a leader and certainly not a great one.

Do you trust easily because it is difficult to?

No, I trust easily until you give me a reason not to. My ex-wife taught me this painful lesson, during our 25 years of marriage. For me, trust is as easily given as it is taken away.

What if you're not let to do what you know you can do or want to do simply because others are better?

If you are not in charge, you have no recourse. If others are “better” you would be better served to assist them or shadow them, to learn to become as good, or better, as they are so the next time, you are chosen. The fact that others are better is no “simple” matter when money, time, or quality is involved.

What are the factors one should consider before saying "I do"?

Do you love them more than life itself? Will you be friends until death? Can you honestly promise all the important commitments in the ceremony? You do? Then, there is your answer.

Why do groups/organizations always support their leader’s policies even when the policies are obviously not in favor of the society at large?

They shouldn’t. You should never be a member of any group that does not have the best interest of society in mind. This means the group must be morally ethical, and many groups out there really aren’t. Hitler’s “Nazi Party” were a prime example of this kind of narrow thinking that he conned countries to buy into and almost conquered the world through genocide. When only certain lives matter, “society at large” is in real trouble.

“Never follow a follower who is following someone who has fallen. It's why the whole world is falling apart.”

-- Suzy Kassem

Why does my instructor never compliment me even though I am the loudest, but they praise other students?

The “squeaky wheel” doesn’t necessarily get the grease if the instructor knows it will be replaced at the end of the term. They can simply ignore the noise until it goes away. Try not to be the loudest, and make sure what you do say is intelligent and worth listening to. How do you do this? Try listening, and, again, not being the loudest.

How can we spread positivity? How can we live a happy life?

Positivity and happiness can be seriously divergent. You can “spread positivity” and still drink to forget. So, let’s work on happiness, and then work on spreading the manure life springs from.

Happiness is a simple choice each of us must make in our lives. If you aren’t happy, you’ve made some bad choices or decisions in your life.

Rule number one is to own your life. This means you can’t deflect blame for your adult life onto someone else. The day you become an adult, on your own in the world, only you are responsible for what happens to you. If you choose to leave the house and get hit by a car, why didn’t you choose to leave the house earlier or later? Why did you choose to leave when you did? The car hit you, but you showed up so it could.

Rule number two is to keep drama from your life. When we’re children, drama finds us. As adults, we can show drama the door. If you choose to accept drama, own the fact that you accepted it. Don’t bitch at those visiting the drama upon you because you allowed them to.

Rule number three? Evil can only enter your house if you invite it in. Unlike drama, evil is insidious. Once invited in, you will play hell trying to get it out. This brings us to the next rule.

Rule number four is to develop a good, moral, and personal “code of ethics” you will stand by, come hell or high water. It will define who and why you are to all those around you. 

Rule number five is the first code of ethical conduct: Make the conscious choice to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. If you do this one thing, true happiness will become sustainable in your life. Now, you are ready to spread positivity to all those around you. Why? Because now they will believe you. Now, that manure you spread, doesn’t smell much like manure as much as it smells like truth.

Why are consumer needs and goals always or constantly changing or evolving?

Because the consumer is constantly changing and evolving, therefore their needs are also. Change is the only true constant in the universe, and if you ignore change you will find yourself left behind those that don’t. 

What does this statement mean, “a wealthy family does not determine a person's bright future”?

Money doesn’t buy happiness any more than it can buy perseverance, intelligence, or street smarts. What you are is totally up to you. You must want to work for it. A family can pass down the “old money” to someone who will squander it away, or to someone who has worked to learn how to make the “old money” sustainable and older yet.

What are some ways to help enjoy menial tasks?

God, how I love doing menial tasks. It is nothing but rote work. An idiot could do it, so it is simple and stress-free. If it is manual labor, my all-time favorite, it can actually lower your stress while forcing you to work out - to exercise. You don’t have to find ways to enjoy menial tasks, you simply have to accept them for what they are, a break from the tedious norm.

"If you're co-founder or CEO, you have to do all kinds of tasks you might not want to do ... If you don't do your chores, the company won't succeed ... No task is too menial." 

-- Elon Musk

If you are given a chance to work outside of the country, are you going to accept the chance despite the negative effects it might bring to your family? Explain your reasons in one paragraph

In the military, you volunteer to do this, as does your family. If your family feels there will be negative effects due to where you’re going, they have the option to stay behind. You voluntarily take an oath to do what you might not like. This is part and parcel of military life.

What is your event or moment in life where you found the strength to create change?

My divorce, after 25 years of marriage. I created true happiness for myself.

What "simple" mindset shift had the biggest impact on your life?

The “5 Whys” philosophy. You find out that most things that happen to you in life are due to your own choices and decisions. You stop shifting blame onto others when the choice or decision was truly yours alone.

Are people willing to spend more for a trip in 2022 than they would pre-Pandemic?

After what Biden has done to the price of gas? Not on a bet.

When apologizing, is it okay to explain your side of the story too?

Explain your side of the story. If you feel you’re right, apologize for their inability to understand your side, and why you did what you did. If you’re wrong, your side of the story is so immaterial. Apologize for being wrong and promise to try harder to be more right. Never apologize for being right.

“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”

-- Benjamin Franklin

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com