Questioning Normal, Smart, Memories, Appreciation, Balance, and You

“A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself — to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.”

-- Leo F. Buscaglia

Is it normal that I've never been satisfied in a relationship?

Your bar is set a bit higher than others.

Do you trust physicists?

As far as I can throw them. It depends on whether they think what they know is fact, or it is true as far as we know at this time. We are always updating our knowledge about the universe.

How do I know that he knows what I know verbatim?

You don’t… and, he doesn’t… at least not verbatim.

My teacher degrades my intelligence. This makes me feel bad about myself because my answers are often incorrect. Does he have the right to do it, and what can I do? Thus, he prefers other students over me.

He sucks as a teacher. Teachers are supposed to teach, not judge, and make you feel bad about yourself. You can report the teacher, but the retaliation won’t be any better. Teachers who play favorites are the worst that education provides. I repeat my opening: He sucks as a teacher.

When did humans come?

Uh… from where?

How does the saying, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder," apply to love at first sight?

She might not be the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen, but, there is something about her that makes you fall in love with her, at first sight. Her “beauty” is in the eye of the beholder, and the beholder would be you.

“We live and breathe words. .... It was books that made me feel that perhaps I was not completely alone. They could be honest with me, and I with them. Reading your words, what you wrote, how you were lonely sometimes and afraid, but always brave; the way you saw the world, its colors and textures, and sounds, I felt--I felt the way you thought, hoped, felt, dreamt. I felt I was dreaming and thinking and feeling with you. I dreamed what you dreamed, wanted what you wanted--and then I realized that truly I just wanted you.”

-- Cassandra Clare

Why do people say "you're so smart" to each other?

They are habitual liars, trying to stroke their lack of ego.

How do you find something or interest you like when you are bored? I am a college student, and I am bored.

Is lascivious sex frowned upon in colleges, now? I was never bored in college, and neither were the girls. There was always someone to do. How times change.

Can physicists develop the operator derivation theory of XD Dongfang's law of angular motion without further plagiarism? Refer to: https://www.researchgate.net/publication (...blah, blah, blah).com

And here I thought “plagiarism” was the law of physics. I learn something every day. 

How can one overcome the haunting feeling of guilt?

You can’t. Guilt is there to remind you of what you did. Guilt reminds you that you are really a good person that does bad things. One should think about this. 

Are people lying when they tell you that you're being too hard on yourself?

Nope. I am my best critic. I’m also my worst critic.

Why is identity so important? Isn't identity just a way to feed your ego? Why do so many people want to be put into boxes?

Identity defines who we are. The fact that so many people want to be put into “boxes” is a sign that we are losing our “individual” identities in favor of a few “societal” identities. Identity for the individual is important to your “self” in lieu of your ego. Feeding your ego can get you in trouble. Better that you identify with selflessness and dedicate time to mankind, than a specific “box” you want to be put into.

“Identity is the qualities, beliefs, personality traits, appearance, and/or expressions that characterize a person or a group. Identity emerges during childhood as children start to comprehend their self-concept, and it remains a consistent aspect throughout different stages of life.”

-- Wikipedia

How do I get rid of past memories?

You don’t. They may fade, but the history of your life is there for a purpose. My divorce, after 25 years of marriage to a woman who never loved me, reminds me of how tenuous relationships are, and how special the one I am with is.

What is the definition of 'just like'?

A duplicate.

What is your view of controlling a guy?

Being a guy, all she needs to do is tell me what she wants. I’m such a suck-up to strong-willed women.

Have you ever been asked questions that are intentionally created to get specific responses from you, so the questioner can claim that your answers validate their point?

I call them “trick questions” in my answer. Nobody can be that naive.

Do men intentionally avoid eye contact with a woman they like?

Oh, hell no. How are you going to know what she wants if your attention is avoiding eye contact? That would mean she has to put the phone down and talk to you. God, forbid. Better you sit next to her like a dog with your tongue hanging out, waiting for her eyes to ask for something.

Can one manifest a happy, healthy, loving relationship with no past trauma or baggage?

Nope. You need the trauma and baggage to remind you what a bad relationship is.

“In our unpacking process, we must own it before we can disown it!"

-- Evinda Lepins

What do you most appreciate about [this site]?

The ability to impart my humble wisdom to those who might need it.

Why do a significant number of people on [this site] choose not to follow each other?

I’m here to answer questions and try to impart wisdom, in my humble way, not to follow people. I follow enough women in the mall, I don’t have to do it here.

Why do I never win against the people who are cyberbullying me?

If you want to win, ignore them. It pisses them off.

How do you become more aware of your problems?

If you are aware of your problems, then you are aware. Not being more aware is a choice you make to ignore the problem you are aware of. 

Who said, "You don't understand anything until you learn it more than one way."?

Marvin Minsky.

Why is it that you only achieve success if you score higher digits in maths and science and no potential other way?

Achieving success is striving to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. Anything else is attaining a goal. If you’ve attained “higher digits” in math and science, you have achieved a goal, but it has little to do with being truly happy always. To be truly happy is a simple choice for your life.

“Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.”

-- Albert Einstein

Is lying and manipulation a necessary evil in this world that I just haven't allowed myself to exercise due to my integrity and scruples?

Yes. Lying and manipulation provide balance to integrity and scruples. There must be balance in the universe.

Do you think true philosophy will lead to true happiness and true living?

It depends on what people do with true philosophy.

Do you think it’s beneficial for individuals to share their strategies for staying motivated?

Yes. If everybody is motivated there will be little time for screwing off. We will get more done and the country will prosper.

I am 52 and I masturbate. Why do I get tired easily?

You’re 52 and you masturbate. The question answers itself.

What made you smile instantly?

The last question I answered.

Why do females think everyone wants to date them?

Misplaced ego.  Not everyone wants to date them, and if they think so, I’ve got some swamps for sale in Mississippi, that they might be interested in. Some of us just want to have some “fun” with females. Who knows, though? It might lead to a date.

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

-- Jane Austen

Which one is actually you?

The one I’m touching.

What are the definitions of money, power, and fame?

Fleeting.

Can we ever be happy if we are not impressed by others?

If you’re waiting to be impressed by others to be happy, you will be disappointed most of the time. Your happiness is inside of you waiting for you to unleash it. Strive to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances or other people. Being truly happy is a simple choice for your life. Make it.

If we were simple in each other's eyes, would we see our true selves?

If you were simple, you would be truly humble. How could you not see your true self?

Can a marriage work after a drunk 1-night stand?

If both of you stay drunk, who knows? It might or it might not. My money, however, is on it might not work out. Booze and love are strange bedfellows. When you wake in the morning and see what’s lying next to you, you wonder what head you were thinking with.

What would the perfect wife be like?

The perfect friend… with benefits.

“A virtuous spouse adds years to your life, a wise one adds decades, but a loving one adds an eternity to your life.”

-- Matshona Dhliwayo

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com