Questioning Nonverbal, Half-full, Secrets, Narcissists, Attention, and Opposites

“Listen with an open mind, gather all the incoming information, both verbal and non-verbal, and be careful not to ignore things you don’t wish to hear. Don’t make assumptions or jump to conclusions. The punchline usually comes at the end!”

-- Graham Speechley

How do you communicate nonverbally?

The finger next to your index finger and fold the other fingers into your palm. Now, cross your thumb over those fingers and raise that hand, just as it is. into the air. Everyone knows what it means.

Being dark is good?

Are we discussing night, skin color, what?

How can we tap into the power of belief to overcome doubts and unlock our true potential?

I can’t wrap my mind about “tapping” into belief. You either believe or you don’t. If you believe your doubts are holding you back, then you ignore your doubts and move down your path toward your true potential. Will there be a failure? Of course. This is life throwing you some curves so you learn the lessons necessary to succeed in life. When you learn to ignore your doubts, you pick up the banner of “perseverance.”

How do you be happier after going through so much?

It is a choice to not wade into a pit of misery. I strive to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of my circumstances. It is a personal choice for my life.

I’m 16 years old and I hope to have a beautiful wife and two kids one day. It almost seems impossible nowadays to have long-term relationships. What goes wrong in a marriage that causes a divorce?

When you choose a wife, make sure you really know each other. You need to be best friends, as well as loving each other. You need to respect each other, be honest with each other, support each other, and have the same goals for your life together. You need to strive to be truly happy together always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances.

Why do so many women believe men oppressed women when the truth is we emancipated women?

Why did we emancipate them? Were they oppressed? By whom? Don’t think too hard about the answer. It was called by many the Women’s Liberation Movement.

“The women's liberation movement created a global awareness of patriarchy and sexism.” 

-- Wikipedia

Is the glass half-full or half-empty in your eyes?

When I was young, I saw the glass as half-full. It was my goal to fill it, and I did. Now, as I have passed the age of 70, I see the level in the glass start to drop. I’m too tired to worry about it. My goal now is to strive to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of my circumstances. It is my choice.

Doesn't being able to make friends help in life?

Yes. But, you would have to believe that even a total asshole can make friends with another total asshole.

Do you feel like every moment anyone spends with you is a moment of their time wasted?

What do you mean, their time? What about my time? No, I have very good conversations with people, and they know they can bolt at a moment’s notice, but they don’t. That says something about my charisma.

Does every situation of injustice have an oppressor and a victim?

It makes sense. For there to be an injustice there must be an oppressor or a perpetrator, and a victim, even if one is the government.

Do you agree that 'those who seek advice are likely to change their minds'?

If they hear advice that is well thought out and makes good sense, they might.

Is a point of view the point you are viewing (looking at), or the point you are viewing from?

Is there a difference? My point of view, mentally or physically, is the same thing. My point of view is from where I am. What I am looking at is from the point I am viewing it. Or, I can give you my point of view, and it is also coming from where I am. I see no difference

Point of view: "A particular attitude or way of considering a matter. The position from which something or someone is observed."

-- Oxford Languages

Is it dumb to leak military secrets to your enemy?

It is stupid, and illegal on so many levels. If you “leak” on purpose, you are giving them secrets.

What ruins your life?

Naysayers. People who badmouth any idea. People who find life tedious. People who would be better off somewhere else than beating my ears to death with their negativity. Naysayers are necessary for balance in the universe, but they don’t need to assemble around me.

What degree is better for understanding human behavior and applying that understanding, psychology or neuroscience? Should I do both for this goal?

Psychology, then you can transfer over to neuroscience, or take both at once. Your choice.

I like to work hard for short periods, and not easy work for long periods? Am I lazy or am I just different? My parents say I am lazy.

You are the balance of the universe. Some will work their ass off, and some choose not to. Some choose to make a lot of money and some choose not to. Life is full of choices, of this and that, to keep the universe in balance. Some of us are this, while you choose to be that.

What provides a whole new perspective?

That depends.

How do you handle when people you respect just don’t see your vision/agree with the decisions & life path you want to take?

We finally disagree. It is my life, not theirs. It is my path, not theirs. If I fail, it will be my fault, not theirs. And if I attain my goal, it will be my victory, not theirs. When you step onto your path, you step onto it alone. It becomes your path, and only you can walk it. Only you can fail, and only you can attain your goal. Perseverance becomes your partner for succeeding in life.

“Together, we form a necessary paradox; not a senseless contradiction.”

-- Criss Jami

What is the number one thing stolen from you by your current or past narcissist? Was it tangible, time, and heirloom, emotional or otherwise? For me, it was my daughter’s childhood.

For me, it was 25 years of life, being a part of my children’s childhood, and a marriage I thought I could save.

How do you know if you have grown out of a hobby? I used to love creating YouTube content but now it seems like a chore and it brings me anxiety, but I can't see myself doing anything else. I feel it has a lot to do with the amount of negativity.

You might not have grown out of it, but how you approach it might have to change.

Is it fair for someone to follow you and you don’t follow them back?

Who decides on “fairness” here? Many people follow me, and I don’t follow anyone. I don’t have the time. I’ll give you a concept: It is a choice. A free choice, but a choice nonetheless. Don’t mind me. I have no filter.

How is Einstein's quote relevant to solve our problems?

And, which Einstein quote are we supposed to be looking at, here?

To some extent aren’t we all a little bit egotistical?

We all have an ego. It’s when we let our ego get out of hand and think it rules our brain that we get into trouble with others. I sit on my ego all the time, and that’s tough when you have no filter.

How do you view moments of silence? Is it a purposeful pause for gathering thoughts and approaching challenges with clarity in your perspective?

It is that, and it can be a moment to clear my mind of all that.

"In this noisy, restless, bewildering age, there is a great need for quietness of spirit. Even in our communion with God, we are so busy presenting our problems, asking for help, and seeking relief that we leave no moments of silence to listen for God's answers. By practice, we can learn to submerge our spirits beneath the turbulent surface waves of life and reach that depth of our being where all is still, where no storms can reach us. Here only can we forget the material world and its demands on us."

-- Alice Hegan Rice

Is it bad that I fantasize about hurting myself, or having something bad happen to me so I get attention?

Yes. You are supposed to be better than that. Instead of wanting attention, you’re supposed to selflessly pay that attention to others. People tend to think that attention is a good thing, when, in reality, it makes them less than they wish to be. Better that you fantasize about helping others, and being the light that others are drawn to. This is the attention people will give you.

I'm currently reflecting on the concept of happiness. Despite the ups and downs that life presents us, I still find immense joy in our existence. I'm curious to hear from you. Apart from spirituality, what brings you happiness in life? What do you look forward to? Your insights would be greatly appreciated. 

I strive to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of my circumstances. It is a choice I have made for my life.

Why does the opposite of whatever I think always happen? It's like the universe knows exactly what my mind is truly thinking and always makes the opposite thing occur. I can explain more in comment replies. Does anybody else have this?

Dosen’t happen to me. You need to go to a casino and think that you’ll always lose.

Why do people think it's embarrassing to ask about something you don't know? Do people really think there is any shame in not knowing something? I am the most inane ignorant person, I like asking stupid questions. Did it make anyone feel better?

Why would anyone ask a question about what they already know? That is a waste of time. You only ask questions about what you don’t know, so you can understand. If everyone were to be embarrassed about asking questions, this site would not exist. There is no such thing as a “stupid” question unless you ask it more than once. And that doesn’t necessarily make the question stupid, but it doesn’t say much about the intelligence of the person asking.

What happened to people using logic? Is the idea of logical discussion and debate fading away?

Only for those who don’t understand it, or the use of it in discussion and debate. 

From the point of view of atheism, are all religions evil, and what is the reason for the existence of religions?

Except for theirs. Atheism has a symbol and a following. Hard not to view it as a religion. Religion is supposed to set down good, moral rules to follow. It is supposed to prepare you for the next life. Unfortunately, greed and power have corrupted the “church” most people follow. It has made an argumentative mob of everyone involved. I choose to follow my own path and define my God as I see fit.

“Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is a daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.”

-- Mahatma Gandhi

Is love the opposite of hate?

That, or like. Love and like are what they say are the opposite of hate.

What is closer to our mind: Brain, heart, or guts?

The brain. You can ignore your brain and go with the heart or the gut. However, for any person with smarts, the brain will save you a lot of time.

What is a polite response to someone asking "What are you doing now?" when your answer is "Nothing"?

If “nothing” is true, then that is the polite response. 

Do you think it is wrong to have an opinion about someone else's perspective?

We all have the freedom of opinion. If you disagree with someone else’s perspective, you should let them know. There might be something you missed or that they left out. Or, you might be right and they might learn from you. Being silent is the wrong this to do.

Are love and hope essential to human life?

Love, hope, faith, and purpose are all part of what makes us human.

Why would any man want an A cupper for a wife? Latent homosexual tendencies?

What does breast size have to do with the love you feel for someone? It seems the idiocy of judging has entered the cup size for breasts now. All you women with small breasts can just not wait for love to find you, because any man with a brain would not want you. Really? That is such nonsense. Breast size has no bearing on love for a woman.

“How stupid that all I have to do is grow two squishy lumps and suddenly I'm man's best friend”

-- Christine Heppermann

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com