Questioning Freedom, Abuse, Forcing, Flirting, Courage, and Coping

 

“Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.”

-- Sigmund Freud

How can a person exercise freedom responsibly in his or her life?

Happens every day, in the United States. Personal responsibility, in exercising your freedoms, is assisted by the “Rule of Law.” 

Why do most people in the world lack creativity?

I’m not so sure this is correct. If you work a job and find a way to make it easier, this is creativity. If you drive a car and find a shortcut, this is creativity. Most people in the world are creative without understanding they are being creative. The more creative you are, the more creative you become.

Is Switzerland perfect?

The Swiss probably think so.

Why is being naked in public a public nuisance?

Are we talking about women or men? One could be construed as a public nuisance, while one could be construed as entertainment. “Entertainment” might become a nuisance if the audience grows too large due to the "quality" of the person being naked in public.

Should men not have a wife but a sex partner?

I thought we did. Oh… you mean one or the other? Gotchya. Good point.

If we were simple in each other's eyes, would we see our true selves?

Seeing your “true self” has little to do with other people. Seeing your “true self” has more to do with not wearing a mask that makes you who you aren’t. It has more to do with introspection and understanding who you are, more than what you are. You might not like what you see, and that is the entire point. Your “true self” should be someone you are truly proud of, and have no qualms about putting out in public. You have developed a personal “code of moral ethics” that will guide your opinions and actions, always. 

“We’re only ever playing fifty percent of a character. The rest is us, and we’re afraid to show people who we really are. We’re afraid of looking foolish if we reveal the full force of our emotions.”

-- M.L. Rio

What should I do to my boyfriend when he beats me and I am still with my parents?

Tell your father, or find a better boyfriend. If he raised a hand to me, I’d fear for my life.

Why are most people on Earth obedient?

Probably. The rest are pushing the envelope to see what they can get away with. I got stopped by a city cop for going over the speed limit. Just pushed that envelope a tad too far.

As an older person, do you still get stressed out? I used to when I was young and expected things to go how I imagined them. Now when I have a problem I just focus on the solution with no emotion.

Nope. It is what it is until I change it. No stress, no emotion, just happy thoughts.

How can I stay away from my mobile phone?

Turn it off until you need it. If people are trying to reach you, they can leave a message that you will happily return. If the phone isn’t on, you aren’t tempted to use it. Try that, or leave it at home. Messages will be there when you return.  

Can children usually act better or worse than their parents?

I’ve seen parents act like children and the children just shake their heads. It’s a toss-up.

Why do Americans listen when their school bully says “Meet me at (insert time) at this place.”?

I never did. I got the crap beat out of me. Pretty soon they stopped giving me orders. It helped when I started embarrassing them in front of their girlfriends. “Big man, beating up on someone smaller than you are. Go ahead and hit me again, pussy.” They did. but it stopped after a while. The “fun” just wasn’t there.

“One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized, and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”

-- Michael J. Fox

Why do people force me to do things against my will? What is the psychological reason behind this?

The bigger “psychological” question is, why do you let them? If someone thought they could force me to do something, I’d peal their face off with a plastic knife from a fast-food restaurant. Now everyone will be asking what the psychological reason is behind my answer. The British Lt Cmdr teaching resistance was also concerned. My point is, it is your life. Don’t ever let someone force you to do things against your will. That’s just submissive. Only women should demand you do things. Just saying.

Do you have to forget in order to forgive?

You can forgive, but it is tough ever to forget. Memories are what keep us safe from ever needing to forgive again. 

Why would someone think it is okay for parents to habitually abuse their kids, verbally, for years, but the minute their kid talks back, the kid is the one who is wrong in that situation? Shouldn't the parent apologize to the kid in this situation?

Verbal abuse by parents is as wrong as the kid talking back. Two wrongs don’t make it right, and the parent should be a good example to their children, which seems to not be happening. The parent obviously doesn’t know how to parent, probably because this is how they were brought up. Now, the cycle, unfortunately, continues.

Does a crew cut suit an oblong face shape?

Be a rebel.

How has your negative perception of police officers changed?

I’ve only had negative perceptions of police officers who really crossed the line. I support the police, and I thank them all the time. They do a “thankless” job to serve and protect. I waiting for someone to pull a pistol on an officer so I can see 10 or 20 southern boys draw down on the perp. Now that we can “conceal carry” nobody knows who is armed to the teeth, and it pays to live in a “stand your ground” state.

Would others say that you are a good role model?

What others say has no bearing on me striving to be a good role model.

“Being a role model is the most powerful form of educating...too often fathers neglect it because they get so caught up in making a living they forget to make a life.”

-- John Wooden

My college teacher always smiles when she sees me. She always says to me that I am handsome. Is it normal, am I overthinking, or has she got some feelings for me?

Next time, tell her she’s very pretty. Sometimes, the only way to find out is to get into the game.

Why do I feel so aware of my actions/thoughts before I do them? I feel like I can’t do anything naturally/spontaneously.

Don’t worry so much about it. Naturally and spontaneously is how people get into trouble. Until you naturally do what is right, keep thinking before you speak or act. People who care will appreciate it.

How can a person exercise freedom responsibly in his or her life?

Try following the “rule of law” of the country in which you reside. 

Is it normal to wish you had no worth?

Unfortunately, you live. As a living being you will always have worth. Even dead people have worth to university medical departments. Basically, you can wish all you want, but you will always have some form of worth.

Can you set a reminder for a specific time and task?

My significant other is my “go-to” for reminders. She never lets me down.

How do you know who to be loyal to?

If they have good ethics, are good to people, love animals, and have stated they are your friend, I have no problem with loyalty… until they let me down.

'You can trust us to stick with you through thick and thin--to the bitter end. And you can trust us to keep any secret of yours--closer than you keep it yourself. But you cannot trust us to let you face trouble alone and go off without a word. We are your friends, Frodo.”

-- J.R.R. Tolkien

When do you feel the most courageous?

When someone is in danger. It is the military in me.

I'm an introvert, but I'm losing all my friends. How do I become more confident to make new friends and be close to them?

Open up to them and explain who you are. Explain the problem you feel and see if they understand. They can't understand what you feel if they don’t see the issue. Please explain it to them. They might just understand.

If you do not see great riches in your imagination, will you never see them in your bank balance?

I always imagine great riches, but, at 70 years of age, my bank balance hasn’t seen them.

Do irrational insecurities exist?

Yes. Most of our insecurities are irrational. Belief does not make an insecurity rational. If you believe you will be turned down if you ask someone out on a date, that is an irrational insecurity. You don’t know. You have to overcome the “insecurity” in order to see if it’s true or not. If they agree to go out on a date with you, the insecurity is irrational.

Am I too smart to read people's minds, but too dumb to avoid detection?

You don’t have to be smart to read minds, but if you are detected… that’s pretty dumb.

What if technical communication lacks feedback? Is it going to be communication?

If you impart information, that is communication. Feedback is evidence that the communication was received. Whether or not you get feedback, you have still communicated information.

“Wisdom cannot be imparted. Wisdom that a wise man attempts to impart always sounds like foolishness to someone else ... Knowledge can be communicated, but not wisdom. One can find it, live it, do wonders through it, but one cannot communicate and teach it.”

-- Hermann Hesse

How can I cope with the idea that someone I truly love will never apologize for hurting me? I’ve apologized for my wrongs myself and hoped for the same. I feel so unheard, powerless, and unworthy.

The other person is an unforgiving asshole. Once you come to grips with their reality, it will be easier for you to move on. Do not change who you are, however. Always do the right thing, even if they don’t.

Why does everyone love Quora?

I don’t “love” this site, I utilize this site. If there was another site that didn’t have all the issues we have to deal with, I would certainly try it out.

Is it a sin to not want to/be too lazy to pick someone else’s trash up, but you would do your own?

People need to take responsibility for their own trash. Society, at times, levies a fine for littering. It sounds as if the littering fine is not being enforced. As a responsible citizen, you should tell them to pick up their trash and put it in the proper receptacle. I’d do it loudly, so everyone can hear what pigs they are.

Do you think people would feel guilty if they knew they ruined someone's life?

Some would. Others can be total assholes with no guilt. I choose to let karma deal the blow for whatever they have done. My conscious has always been clean.

Can you help me create an introduction to ethics?

Use the definitions and you can, pretty much, not go wrong.

Try this:

Ethics is the branch of knowledge that deals with moral principles. “Moral principles” govern a person's behavior or the conducting of an activity. “Moral principles” are standards of right and wrong that a person or group has. The principles can be passed down to us by our family and peers, or they can be dictated by society or religion, and they can certainly change throughout our lives, depending on our experiences.

If someone mentions that someone’s performance is pretty good, does that imply that the person doesn’t have talent in the thing they’re performing?

No, it implies that they can do a little bit better by someone who excels at the performance.

“The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.”

-- Jimmy Johnson

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com