Questioning Attitude, Money, Attention, Like, and Bad Things

 

“Intimacy in marriage should be between the intimate spouses. Family members should not insert themselves unnecessarily.”

-- Mitta Xinindlu

Does a husband or wife's attitude change towards their in-laws after getting married?

Probably, but, more to the point, do the attitudes of the in-laws change toward the new wife or husband? My wife was never accepted by my parents, and when the marriage ended 25 years later, they felt vindicated, even though their lackluster attitude toward her for 25 years didn’t really help.

Is it considered bullying if the “victim” was mean to you first?

Wouldn’t that be considered bullying the bully? When do two wrongs make a right?

How do you define yourself apart from others and their time? What do you do differently and how might it help?

I listen and I learn, even though my hearing suffers from too many jet engines. I try to be tolerant and understanding, though I do ignore the League of the Perpetually Offended. And, as a pastor, I try to be real when I mentor those in need. Whether I help or not is up to those I try to mentor. Is what I do different? Well, I don’t get paid, I do what I can selflessly, and I really care. Different is in the eyes of the beholder.

What is the most important quality a man should have to be able to date with ease, and why?

Honesty. Without it why would anyone, of quality, even look at them?

Can you give false hopes unintentionally?

To give “false” hope you really have to know it’s false when you give it. If you know it’s false, then it is intentional. If you believe it to be real hope, false or not, it is still real to you and those you share it with. You have faith that hope will be realized. Whether hope is false or not, however, will not be known until hope is either lost or brought to fruition.

Faith breeds hope, and faith is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof. Since I have a deep belief in faith, unintentional, or not, I choose to have hope.

“Harsh reality is always better than false hope.”

-- Downton Abbey

Why are people so impressed by money?

People, as deep as some think they are, are really very shallow. Instead of being impressed by accomplishments, accolades, or, God forbid, who they really are as people, they are impressed by money and material things.

Can a person lose their entire identity and forget who they are?

More and more often, as we age. 

What does it mean when a guy says he fights for me although it is normally not his way to handle things because I am important to him?

It means you are important to him. You can read more into it, but he has already stated why he does it.

What are some easy ways to gain knowledge, intelligence, and memory?

Listen, read, question, and, then, remember.

How can you prevent your past failures from affecting your future success?

Oh, God, no! My failures are what help me to attain my goals. You must persevere in the face of failure. I always remember this quote:

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”

-- Thomas A. Edison

How can you tell if a guy is ignoring you because he wants to ignore you, or just because he's busy?

Is he ignoring everybody?

How do you stop thinking about giving him a blowjob?

You don’t! You need to keep that thought up front in your mind. Of course, being a man, my priorities for you are pretty obvious.

Who do I always feel unsure about everything I think of?

The one you truly love.

What makes a guy want you back after breaking up with you when other guys don't even care about you anymore, once they're done?

He realizes he made a mistake. However, taking him back immediately may not be the best tactic. Guys are like dogs, they have some fun and come limping home. You need to watch and determine his true intent. And, for God’s sake, don’t let him immediately jump your bones.

What are your thoughts on dating a girl who doesn't like/hate men?

Well, being a man, I wouldn’t think of dating her at all.

"I never gave you a reason to hate me. You're just creating your own little drama of pure insecurity."

-- Anonymous 

What is a good response to an ex saying “I’m over you”?

“I was over you years ago, Scarlet. I just enjoy juggling.”

How do you expose the bully in the workplace?

Have it out with them in the lunchroom, loudly, then immediately report them to the Human Resources office.

What does it mean when someone says that the USA is losing its soul?

We are forgetting why this country was created. We don't pay attention to civics, political science, and, more importantly, history, anymore. Education is a sad reflection on the greatest country in the world.

What does it mean if you say "like" a lot?

You weren’t taught to speak proper English.

If asking someone to change is manipulative, what can one say instead to try and get the desired result?

Asking one to change is not manipulative. Changing them without their knowledge is manipulative.

“The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ...We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of. This is a logical result of the way in which our democratic society is organized. Vast numbers of human beings must cooperate in this manner if they are to live together as a smoothly functioning society. ...In almost every act of our daily lives, whether in the sphere of politics or business, in our social conduct or our ethical thinking, we are dominated by the relatively small number of persons...who understand the mental processes and social patterns of the masses. It is they who pull the wires which control the public mind.”

-- Edward Bernays 

What is the best response if a girl tells you “Not now”?

“No problem, I’ll call Mimi. She’s always up for a challenge.”

Should I just date this new guy and see if my ex fights for me?

He’s your ex. I sure as hell wouldn’t.

At what age did life become simple for you?

At 59. I retired from my second career and move to Manzanillo, Mexico. Life didn’t get much simpler. I ate street food, drank tequila and beer, worked around the coconut ranch when I felt like it and lost 40 pounds.

What does it mean when someone says "Yes"?

Someone might be getting laid.

What are some reasons why people think they can be rude to their friends and still be considered friends with them?

They have dumbasses for friends.

“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.”

-- Edmund Burke

What is the best way to respond when someone says "God will never abandon you"?

“I’m a minister, and you’re preaching to the choir. But, thanks for the thought.”

What are some good responses to people that say God proves himself every day?

“But… you’re still here.”  Truth be known, He doesn't have to prove Himself.  Isn't creation enough? 

What is the best reply to a girl who refuses to meet you?

“My loss. If you change your mind, call me.” 

How do you respond to a girl who calls you "my love"?

“Not yet, not really, but, maybe tonight?”

What has your life made of you to be?

A minister, a mentor, and a philosopher.

"Every struggle in your life has shaped you into the person you are today. Be thankful for the hard times; they can only make you stronger."

-- Unknown

What are some examples of people who have done bad things but have also made our lives more meaningful?

Adolf Hitler. He brought the world together. After the WW-II, the United Nations was created to prevent future wars. 

What is the best way to tell someone that they are keeping secrets from you without sounding accusatory?

Have incontrovertible proof.

What is the difference between technique, talent, and temperament?

A good temperament is what you need to learn a new technique. Your combination of techniques is what makes your talent.

Why should I discover new things?

Growth. You should never stop trying to grow your knowledge. 

What will you do if you find yourself falling in love with a stranger?

Honesty. I’d tell them I’m falling in love with them, and invite them to dinner. Stranger things have born fruit than this.

“You can love somebody without it being like that. You keep them a stranger, a stranger who's a friend.”

-- Truman Capote

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com