Questioning Friends, Naked, Teachers, Avoidance, and Ignorance

 

“A man who trusts everyone is a fool and a man who trusts no one is a fool. We are all fools if we live long enough.”

-- Robert Jordan

 

How do you make friends in a world of weak and foolish people?

You’ll still make friends, but your friends will probably be weak and foolish. But, then, aren’t we all? Nope. I’m many things, but foolish and weak are not in my wheelhouse.  Making strong and intelligent friends is a real crap shoot, however.

What is better than standing up for yourself?

Standing up for others.

How do you know that you’re actually good at what you think you are good at?

Because I was awarded for my efforts, many times. The intelligence divisions went from a marginal rating to an excellent one whenever I was put in charge. I had “by name requests” that put me on bases I didn’t request.

What are some reasons why people mock other people for being religious?

A lack of faith.

Why didn't you give up?

Because I truly loved her. I had no idea that she had used me for 25 years and, by her own admission, never loved me. For 25 years I thought I could make it work.

“When someone you love says goodbye you can stare long and hard at the door they closed and forget to see all the doors God has open in front of you.”

-- Shannon Alder

Is it possible to make others feel stupid without saying anything? If so, how?

Look up when you’re in a crowd and see how many people look up along with you. Touch your index finger to their chest and when they look down flick their nose.

How can I forgive a number of people who hurt me? Do I have to forgive them?

No, you don’t. However, if you are a spiritual being, your eternal soul will suffer for it. You can forgive them for being heartless, dumbasses with no empathy for their victims. You don’t have to forget, you only have to forgive. But, what you really need to do is pick a better crowd to hang around with, and don’t put yourself in a situation where people feel they can hurt you. Ask yourself this question: Am I upset that they hurt me, or am I upset that I let them hurt me? Life is full of choices, and if you let them hurt you, where does the blame truly lie? Maybe some food for thought.

Why do I feel guilty every time I look at a picture of my younger self?

Do you look different?

How important is intelligence if you don't use it effectively?

That bodes the question, why have it at all? Most people make it just by being exceptionally smart. Not all of us can be like the actor, James Woods, with an IQ of 184. Most of us get by with 85 to 115. I argue this, however. Most people I meet would struggle to raise their personal bar to 85.

What does it mean if a woman is critical of her boyfriend?

She’s looking for greener pastures. 

“Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body; it calls attention to the development of an unhealthy state of things. If it is heeded in time, danger may be averted; if it is suppressed, a fatal distemper may develop."

-- Winston Churchill

For 10 days I was alone in my house no one called me and ask me how I am doing or do you need anything are you okay what would you do?

Make some friends.

Why am I suddenly losing interest in one or some of my classes?

You know more than the instructor, or you know so much less to make you wonder, “What was I thinking?” Or, you simply opened the text and realized you were like a pig looking at a wristwatch.

How can you judge when you cannot understand?

People do it all the time.

Why are you so afraid of hope?

I’m not. I have undying faith, and faith breeds hope. The one thing I am confident I’m not afraid of is hope. If I were afraid of hope, I wouldn’t be very hopeful, would I? But, I am very hopeful.

Can a judge ever say that a judgment is wrong?

It happens occasionally.

“Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.”

-- Rita Mae Brown

Is it normal to hate how my body looks naked?

Yep. At 70, I’m not enamored with mine.

How do I avoid emotional unintelligence?

The short answer is to not become emotional. Emotions and intelligence are strange bedfellows. Usually, when you become emotional, good sense takes a vacation. Yelling and screaming, and then someone loses their mind and takes a swing at someone else, then the knife comes out, then the gun, and then David Carradine comes out, in the guise of Kwai Chang, to make peace or kick some emotional ass with kung fu.

What would it mean for you not to be living a lie?

I would have to be living a lie and stop, in order to find out.

How do I cope with growing up and dying?

Whether you cope or not, you will grow up and eventually die. It makes little sense to not accept the inevitable.

Why does it feel impossible for others to love me the way I love others?

You need to find better people to hang with.

“I was perhaps moreover a little the dupe of that illusion of lovers that the beloved object must, somehow, respond, that an extremity of love not only merits but compels some return.”

-- Iris Murdoch

What is the best response when invited to lunch and dinner by a teacher?

That depends on how drop-dead gorgeous she is. If she’s all that, I’d shoot for dinner and hope for the best.

Is it helpful to tell someone being bullied to "grow a thick skin"?

From experience, the “thick skin” won’t make the beating hurt less.

What is an example of something very smart you have done or seen?

I stopped getting upset and have been working on patience. Getting upset and having a lack of patience benefits no one and simply delays progress. I made the conscious choice to strive for happiness always and in all things, regardless of circumstances. I have been so much happier in life. Driving is still a work in progress, but I learned to take a deep breath and smile at idiots causing delays. I bought a t-shirt that states, “My people skills are just fine, it’s my tolerance to idiots that needs work.” Indeed.

Where can I find someone to listen to me and give me some advice?

About what?

Are most silent people quick at maturing?

Not really. Maturity generally comes from intelligent social interaction. Being silent is counterproductive to social interaction. The ability to communicate, have cogent conversations and debates, and keep an open mind are all tools for becoming mature. Maturity is more than one’s physical age. You can be a mature human being and still be childish in your interactions with others.  But, then...

“Quiet people always know more than they seem. Although very normal, their inner world is by default fronted mysterious and therefore assumed weird. Never underestimate the social awareness and sense of reality in a quiet person; they are some of the most observant, absorbent persons of all.”

-- Criss Jami

Using radical acceptance to avoid addressing a situation you have the power to change isn’t typically helpful. What does this mean?

In the military, you find this all the time. People tend to stay with the "status quo" even when it makes little sense from a production standpoint. The regulations give tolerances to be followed, even when it isn’t all that hard to tighten those tolerances and deliver a better product.

I was big as seeing regulations as simple guidelines. There is really no reason not to tighten guidelines where a military mission is concerned. I simply made the statement of what the new tolerances were expected to be, and the personnel made it happen. After a “regulation rewrite conference” those tolerances were adopted as what to shoot for.

Everything can be made better if you simply put in the bit of work it takes to make it happen.

 At my graduation, my super cool instructor complimented my progress and expressed pride but I got angry and accused him of pitying me (He knew about my lack of confidence). I was furious! Why did I do this? Is he scared of me now? How can I fix it?

Take them out for coffee and apologize.

How can you use the power of authenticity and vulnerability to create deeper and more meaningful connections with yourself and others?

I’m not sure about their “power,” but personal authenticity and actual vulnerability are traits others appreciate when looking for real people, not simply plastic personalities. I grew past trying to be what I wasn’t. The people I met were all trying to be someone they weren’t. I found that most women appreciated actual authenticity and vulnerability in a real man. Finding the balance, however, can be challenging.

Is it possible to have two affairs at the same time?

Or more. But, the more you have, the more you juggle. How is your attention span?

Why do Christians stroke God's ego in an organized and private way?

Ignorance. God really has no ego to stroke. God presents lessons for people to learn. Learn the lessons or not, it is totally up to you. I love the thought, though, that God appreciates wasting the moment to stroke His ego instead of helping each other selflessly. This is one reason why organized religion and I parted ways. The other reason was “religion” losing the prime directive.

“God had brought me to my knees and made me acknowledge my own nothingness, and out of that knowledge I had been reborn. I was no longer the center of my life and therefore I could see God in everything.”

-- Bede Griffiths

Why do you think people change toward someone?

Knowledge. They get to know them. Rumors and propaganda about someone either fall to the side or are reinforced when you take the time to really know someone.

Should we dispose of ignorant people?

Be careful. This kind of question presents a good starting point for Hitler's wannabes.

How do you think I can form a personality and become a very confident, energetic charismatic person? I'm a very bland, boring person, I want to grow and need tips. Some stuff that holds me back is anxiety, low self-esteem, and shyness.

I hate to go to the obvious, but you listed them. I would start work on the stuff you know holds you back - anxiety, low self-esteem, and shyness. Try to strive for true happiness always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. Asking this question is evidence that you probably don’t need a “new” personality. Your current personality is being smothered by the stuff that holds you back. Get rid of all the bullshit.

Can you give an example of a confident ignorant person?

Joe Biden. In his political career, he’s still accomplished nothing, but destroying his country.

Is being funny a talent or can anyone be funny if they try hard enough?

“Funny” is a talent that good comedians can use on the spur of the moment, almost without thinking. Robin Willams was the king of humor. Not everyone has this talent or can learn it. One-liners are so different than ad-libbing unwritten humor at the moment. That is a true talent.

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”

-- Steve Martin

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony: tolerantpastor@gmail.com