Questioning Revenge, Sex, Spending, Sex, and Divorce

 

“Carla's description was typical of survivors of chronic childhood abuse. Almost always, they deny or minimize the abusive memories. They have to: it's too painful to believe that their parents would do such a thing. So they fragment the memories into hundreds of shards, leaving only acceptable traces in their conscious minds. Rationalizations like "my childhood was rough," "he only did it to me once or twice," and "it wasn't so bad" are common, masking the fact that the abuse was devastating and chronic. But while the knowledge, body sensations, and feelings are shattered, they are not forgotten. They intrude in unexpected ways: through panic attacks and insomnia, through dreams and artwork, through seemingly inexplicable compulsions, and through the shadowy dread of the abusive parent. They live just outside of consciousness like noisy neighbors who bang on the pipes and occasionally show up at the door.”

-- David L. Calof

How do I get subtle revenge on my father for emotionally abusing me throughout my childhood?

Disown him. Have nothing to do with him; you don’t exist. Change your contact information. Let karma take care of the rest.

Is it correct to assert that humans seek understanding because they crave control?

Humans seek understanding because they’re stupid. If you seek evidence for this, look at voting results. If they seek understanding because they crave control, they are really stupid. They will only control the weak-minded who choose to be indoctrinated. Yeah, controlling the weak-minded is a serious ego booster… not.

What strategies can we use to build a good society?

Find good people.

What is the most profound thing you've ever experienced?

A “shadow person” in my bedroom. I chased it down and have never seen it again. I understand they don’t like people with no fear. My bad.

Which is a better self-help book title, "Show me how to be happy" Vs "Teach me how to be happy"?

Is it a picture book? If not, how are you going to show anything?

“Some things cannot be taught; they must be experienced. You never learn the most valuable lessons in life until you go through your own journey.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

What is the best strategy that works in teaching reading skills?

Read, and then explain what you read and what it means to you.

Is sex the real expression of love?

No. I love a woman dearly, and I would never think of making love to her. She is my surrogate daughter. The real expression of love… is to love, with all your heart. I love almost as if she is my own.

Does being open-minded mean you have to agree?

No, it means you are open to being convinced. You are willing to hear what they have to say and/or to look at their evidence.

How can you tell if a woman is lazy?

She just stares at the ceiling, while you do all the work. 

How do I date a pastor?

Being a pastor, I’d be tickled if someone said, “Do you want to go out for a drink or dinner? Your treat.”

"The wife of a Pastor is no ordinary role, it’s not for the jealous nor timid soul."

-- Unknown

Should you spend money on yourself when everyone around you is struggling financially?

You’ve done your job, they need to do theirs. If they have issues with you spending what you have, they can ask how you do it. You should be selflessly available to help them.

What is the best way to approach someone who has a restraining order against them?

If you took out the restraining order, don’t. If you didn’t, don’t.

What are some things we can do to make our lives more joyful, peaceful, and beautiful?

Learn to enjoy nature, and hang with people who are very happy and not high-strung with lots of drama. Acid rock is not very conducive to this.

Does social life get easier after high school?

Yes, and so does pregnancy.

What does “life is an illusion” mean? Does anyone actually believe it as scientists say it is?

Life is reality. Anyone who thinks life is an "illusion" isn’t living life to the fullest. If life is an illusion, they can jump from a perfectly good aircraft and leave the parachute onboard the plane. They will learn that reality can be a bitch, for a split second before death.

“I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is.”

-- Alan Wilson Watts

Why is my girlfriend having sex with a married man?

You really need to be more exciting and creative. He probably rocks her world.

If someone tells us they love us, but then treats us badly, should we trust their words or actions?

Not unless you are a willing submissive that loves spankings. In this case, you can trust the words and actions.

What are some ways to cope with being an intellectual in a society that values ignorance?

Be seen, not heard.

Which fashion statement would be considered rude by others?

Any skirt short enough to show a woman’s “secret” around other women. Personally, I have no problem with skirt length.

Do people who are overweight think less of those who aren't?

As a man carrying a bit of weight, part of that is probably jealousy.

“That we need help is easy to see every time we walk down the street. The experts confirm what the obscured view in front of us tells us. They estimate that 64% of adults in the United States are obese and that this percentage is growing. Even our children are being affected, as nearly every one in three American children under the age of 18 is overweight.”

-- Jeff Schweitzer

How do I respond to “I am good”?

“I am better.” 

What are some indications that an adult is mature and responsible enough to make decisions on their own without depending on others’ advice unnecessarily?

When they show they are mature and responsible enough to make decisions on their own without depending on others’ advice unnecessarily. Hey! This is pretty easy. 

What does it mean when my guy best friend tells me about all the girls that think he’s attractive and want him?

He’s a legend in his own mind… until he proves it.

Does a lack of self-worth lead to welfare dependence?

More apt to lead to suicide.

What are tips to get a married woman to leave her husband to go with me?

If she’ll leave him, she’ll probably leave you. Find your own woman.

“Yet it is hard to deny the obvious conclusion here: heterosexual marriage, despite the cosmetic improvements we've made to it over the years, is still an institution set up to benefit men at women's expense. Women are told their whole lives, that marriage has gone from a means of subjugation to a romantic adventure; a five-star resort built in an abandoned prison. But when they arrive, there are still locks on the doors. The cells still have bars. Our attitudes have shifted, our expectations have shifted, but the institution itself remains largely unchanged. It would be crazy not to feel some frustration.”

-- Sady Doyle

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony: tolerantpastor@gmail.com