Questioning Therapy, Hurt, Smiles, Changes, and Risks

 

“Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own feet while reclining on couches.”

-- Sigmund Freud

What do people usually talk about with their therapists?

Their problems. Paying them so you can discuss golf doesn’t make much sense... unless golf is a problem.  Even then, try taking instructions from a golf pro.

What's the most successful and effortless way to get a woman’s attention?

Compliments. Notice things she doesn’t think people care to notice. Change of dress style, hair length, hair color, makeup, etc. Or, you can just throw gasoline on the fire and blurt out that you find her very attractive, and you might add that you’d love to have her for dinner. I mean, take her to dinner.

What's the saddest moment you've had in your life?

When I went through my divorce in 2000 and lost the right to raise my two children.

Why do some people care about you when they are not in your life?

I care about my ex-wife and she chose not to be in my life. I find it hard, even when she admitted not loving me for 25 years, not to continue loving her. Some people can turn off their emotions like a light switch, but some of us care a bit more than that. She was the mother of my two children. I can’t help but think there must have been something there at some point. But, then, I’m the idiot that stayed the course for 25 years.

What is the name of the most valuable thing in the world?

Pick a child, any young child, and ask them their name.

“If people understand that everyone they meet is as valuable as them, there will be various bonds of respectful connection in this world.”

-- Sonal Takalkar

People often hurt others with their actions. When is it understandable that this happens?

It is never understandable. Hurting people is simply wrong. If you must, however, I would state a heartfelt apology before you do it.

What's the end of human beings?

Uh… death? 

Can you give some examples of people/things that have been replaced?

Donald Trump. We‘re still not sure what he was replaced with, but it’s destroying the country.

Does going first necessarily make everyone else go behind your back?

What?

What is your opinion on the importance of being "the best" at something?

It isn’t the “end all” of life. People seem to limp along just fine being almost the best at something. The best is only on top until they are knocked off by a competitor. It happens all the time. 

“It's not how good you are, it's how good you want to be.”

-- Paul Arden

What’s something that always puts a smile on your face no matter what?

A set of great-looking legs wearing high heels and sticking out of a short skirt. Makes me smile, no matter what.

What is the appropriate response when a person says that their freedom of speech has been violated?

“Have you sought legal counsel?”

When a person shows respect to another, how does the other know that he/she is being respected? How would you show respect to others without making them aware of it?

The entire point of respect is that they know about it. People generally are aware of respect. Why would you respect someone but not show it, unless you aren’t looking for their mutual respect? You should get back what you give. The only reason I can see for not showing respect is that they disrespected you on some level.

I want to make an idea that has severe consequences in a conservative country. How can I protect myself?

Good luck. If they want you, you’re dead.

How do you handle impulse buying?

Don’t. Impulse buying rarely works out. The usual comment from me is, “What was I thinking?” The truth? I wasn’t thinking at all. I’ve had a garage full of once-used crap. Money can be better spent.

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

-- Viktor E. Frankl

Have you ever not spoken up at work and regretted it?

Nope. I have no filter. They were always surprised when I didn’t speak up.

What are some ways we can stop being so negative around our friends, and what does it say about us if we are?

Understand that nobody wants to listen to you bitch, whine, and be negative. Chronic negativity is a way to get yourself not invited, to anything.

What are some things one should consider when thinking about making changes and taking risks in their mid-twenties?

Only the good die young.

Can we truly understand the depth of our own thoughts and emotions, or are we limited by our own capacity for introspection?

If you are, in fact, limited by your own capacity for introspection, then you probably can’t truly understand the depth of your own thoughts or emotions.

How should I change my habit without friends?

The “habit” is pretty easy to put on and take off. Even nuns with some girth can manage it.

“If you believe you can change - if you make it a habit - the change becomes real.”

-- Charles Duhigg

I think of her daily, even though she doesn't want me. Why?

Unrequited love is a mind-sucking bitch. It is what it is until you find someone else, but she will still be on your mind. It happens, and it is not pleasant. I look at it as part of growing up.  Yep, it still happens then.

Why do so many women ask you what you do for work?

They’re hoping I say “gigolo”? 

Do people with a sense of humor tend to be more emotionally intelligent?

Oh, hell no. Robin Williams was the king of comedy, and he committed suicide. Nothing emotionally intelligent about that.

When you're a woman, is it expected that you are to give up your life for others, often those who are not worthy of such a sacrifice?

Not anymore. That ship sailed a long time ago.

How come every man I meet or date never likes me? Am I doing something wrong?

You might want to read the “Kama Sutra” for ideas. Read? It’s more of a “monkey see, monkey do” book.

I know nobody likes me!

I know nobody loves me!

I know nobody remembers me!

But, I don't care...

I love my own company.

--Rohan Borhade

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony: tolerantpastor@gmail.com