Strange Bedfellows (Updated from 2/23/2017)

“In 1959, women were told they needed to cultivate their “daintiness”—today it's couched as “femininity,” but the unspoken message has stayed the same. The fact that the message is framed as empowerment doesn't change the deficit mentality behind it.”

-- Ina Park

I've had a couple of doctors admonish me for not addressing them as 'doctors.'  Actually, I called them by their first name, with not even the courtesy of a 'mister.'  I told him that, if it stroked his ego, I'd try to assist.  He informed me, quite curtly, that he deserved the title.  I told him he only earned the title, and I would be the judge of whether he deserved my recognition of it.  I mean, be real, he practices medicine, it isn't that he is a master at it.  

The egotistical audacity of their attitude is what tends to piss me off about haughty, overly 'intelligent,' people.  They tend to be intelligent, but not possessive of much 'smarts,' the street sense which comes from being taught the benefit of humility.  Want to impress me and earn some respect?  Take your degree and go wash the feet of beggars in some third-world sewer for a few years before you charge me $400 for an eye exam and expect me to call you 'doctor' with some respect in my voice. I worked hard for 23 years for the right to use the title of Master Sergeant as a prefix for the rest of my life.  I didn't "practice" my job.  If we practiced, people could die.  Doctors do this.  I am a master at my job, but I don't require people to address me accordingly or kiss my ass.

I have always seen mental intelligence as the strange bedfellow of good sense.  Nowadays, intelligence combined with good sense seems to be even more of a peculiar alliance than it has been in days past.  I rarely see the two occupying the same 'ugly bags of mostly water' we refer to as human beings.

When I was in college I began my subtle indoctrination to losing good sense in favor of being spoon-fed controlled social behavior.  Fortunately, in my formative years prior to institutions of higher learning, several of my teachers still knew how to teach.  I was required to read the greats of literature, highlighted by the dystopian works of Ray Bradbury, George Orwell, Aldous Huxley, and Sir Thomas More, to name a few.  I became aware of the dangers involved in sameness, of a 'cookie cutter' society of drones, a society of intellect that rewards the intelligence of conformity instead of intelligence tempered by introspection and good sense.  It is the human ability to understand that, just because an action is right, doesn't make it the best action, and just because an action is the best, doesn't necessarily make it right.  This dichotomy seems to blur as we force 'book smarts' upon our youth, in favor of the 'school of hard knocks' and good sense. "Participation awards" create sameness, not greatness; apathy not empathy, and laziness, not energetic creativity.

What it boils down to, is a couple of stories I take from my past.  If you're a doctor and I can kill you with one finger, which of us stands the better chance of survival.  If you're a doctor that knows nothing about the broken furnace in your basement, and the temperature is dropping fast, which deserves more respect, your doctorate or the savvy janitor who can fix the furnace?  It isn't how intelligent you are, it is what you know that is needed.  In the military, it was the difference between who was the most intelligent, and who could get the job done; who got bogged down in regulations, or who put boot to ass and got the forces off the ground.  Regulations, after all, are simply guidelines.

Intelligence can be defined as "one's capacity for logic, understanding, self-awareness, learning, emotional knowledge, planning, creativity and problem-solving. It can be more generally described as the ability to perceive information, and to retain it as knowledge to be applied towards adaptive behaviors within an environment or context." 

It can be defined this way. 

In today's world, it seems to be an unfortunate reality that our society has redefined intelligence to be nothing more than a "certificate" one earns, rather than the good sense that today's institutions of higher education forget to include in their curriculum; the good sense to make you understand there is more to learning than a formal education.  I can remember common sense.  I was part of the generation, chosen by society, to watch as it was quietly squeezed from the unwitting.  Common sense, nowadays, is anything but common. Now we refer to it as "good" sense. 

Good sense is seen as "sound practical judgment, the mental ability to understand and discriminate between relations, the logic of reasoned and reasonable judgment."  Intelligence would seem to be black and white, whereas good sense exercises an ability to waffle between what is logical, practical, and right; safely watching the building burn, or rushing to save the helpless victims within.  It would seem to be the difference between showing tolerance and understanding, or cutting off one's nose to spite one's face; between doing what is right, or doing what is necessary; between having a capacity and actually exercising the capacity; between learning what the books have to say so you get your doctorate and earning the right, and the respect, to shoot from the hip and actually uphold the title.

But whether we have good sense or intelligence, these are nothing more than labels that differentiate us from one another rather than bring us together.  As much as I would like to respect a person's accomplishments by calling them 'doctor,' I can't help but think how much more constructive and respectful it is to operate on a more friendly, first-name basis.  I'd rather go to the doctor and hear the following: 

"Tony, what seems to be the problem?"

"Well, John, I have this pain in my ass." 

"Hmmm... probably your wife.  Drop trou and let's have a peek.  You gonna golf with us this afternoon?"

"Depends on my wife."

Life is chock full of strange bedfellows.  When it comes down to it, a smart ass is less desirable to be around than a plain ol' ass.  I vote we try treating each other the way we would like to be treated; do unto others as you would have them do unto you, and hope they can take a joke.  If not, be ready to stroke an ego.

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony: tolerantpastor@gmail.com