Questioning Vacations, Lessons, Money, Dreams, and Solitude

 

“Every person needs to take one day away. A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future. Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence. Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.”

-- Maya Angelou

If you could cancel one vacation you have taken, lose all memory of it, and get your money back, what vacation would you choose?

The cruise. What a crowded zoo. Screaming kids and dumbass parents. Next time, an all-adult cruise.

How can a pro fighter, who makes money from beating others, be a good person?

It’s called a sport, and both people volunteer to go at it to see who is the best. They have a referee to ensure that no one “fighter” goes at it to the detriment of life. To beat someone senseless, especially when they’re down, is not a sport, and to beat someone that is too stupid to call it quits, is also not a sport. This is why the trainer can “throw in the towel” and end the match. It is supposed to be a sport. Enter the ring with respect for your challenger, and leave the ring with respect for your challenger.

 What is the unluckiest number between 14 and 112?

There are no “unlucky” numbers, only bad choices.

Is 23 an unlucky number?

Only if you want it to be.

How do we build solutions for solving problems?

That would depend on the problem, the knowledge, money, and material available, and if the problem is not passed being solved. First, though. you need to define the problem and find the knowledge to correct it. The money and material, however, might make the solution a moot point.

“Every solution to every problem is simple. It's the distance between the two where the mystery lies.”

-- Derek Landy

How do you fulfill your center?

From the inside out.

What do you think is a financial lesson that you couldn't easily learn from a book?

Debt. There is no lesson as good as actually going into debt and having to find a way out of it. Debt can be an insidious, lifelong struggle of indentured servitude under multiple masters.

If you had one wish what would you use it for?

Wisdom. The world could use a mega dose of it.

Why can’t I figure out what my own talent is? Am I just ungifted?

Are you living life to the fullest? Sooner or later, the talent will cross paths with you. Everyone has a gift. I found several of mine while in the Air Force. 

Who are the common people?

Try this:

“A commoner, also known as the common man, commoners, the common people or the masses, was in earlier use an ordinary person in a community or nation who did not have any significant social status, especially a member of neither royalty, nobility nor any part of the aristocracy.”

-- "Commoner" - Wikipedia

Why do people always think that the more money one has the more successful he is?

Ignorance. Happiness is the true measure of success in life. Everything else is simply attaining goals.

 How important is it to listen to your friend, but relationship issues?

Who else are they going to talk to about it? And, what if you need to bend their ear? It is what a friend does.

Do you think pride is ever beneficial or should it always be avoided?

Pride tempered with a good dose of humility can be beneficial. We are only as good as the next challenge, and it behooves us to remember that.

What are your favorite words of wisdom?

True success in life is to strive for true happiness always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. 

I have a sense of humor but not with everybody. How do I have it with anyone I want?

Unfortunately, humor is like beauty, it is in the eye of the beholder. Or, in this case, of the ear. What is funny is different for everyone. Some things strike me funny and some things simply fall flat. It is what it is.

”You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time.”

-- John Lydgate

Are dreams meaningful and important?

Yes! It allows us to “experience” things, and people, we might not be able to, otherwise. It also helps us to work out issues that might be causing us issues in reality.

Is there a difference between meaningful and less meaningful dreams?

One is less meaningful.

How can we forget things that hurt us deeply in our life but never get over them easily?

You can’t. You can file them away for future reference. Things that hurt us are the things we need to remember so we don’t get hurt more than twice. I say “twice” because the second time you can blame it on, either, stupidity or you being a glutton for punishment.

What five things do people never forget?

True friends, true family, true love, true happiness, and when you are truly hurt.

What advice do you have for others who are trying to gain a different perspective on an issue?

Approach the issue with an open mind. Be willing to admit that your perspective might not be the right one, or the only one. Be the one to discuss, not argue, for an agreeable perspective.

“One person's craziness is another person's reality.”

-- Tim Burton

Right now I'm having a bad time deciding if I will stay in this course I'm taking or will be shifting to another course. Can you give me some advice?

Having a “bad time deciding” should tell you all you need to know. If you were happy with the course you’re taking it would be such a hard decision.

Have you ever wondered about the meaning of life?

The one aspect of life that all of us have in common is learning. We are here, for better or worse, to learn the lessons life puts before us. We can learn them in this life, or we can learn them in the next, but we are here to learn. The more we learn the father we move down our path. Everyone has a path, and all paths lead to the same destination. But, as it has been said many times, it isn’t about the destination, it’s about the journey.

When life gets too overwhelming, what do you do?

Go fishing. Or, I’ve taken a couple of days, for myself, and just driven the miles - there and back again, windows down and music blaring. I decompress.

If you had dreams that felt absolutely real, is it valid to identify the events in the dreams as being real?

I do. It’s real enough to creep me out, then it’s real enough to call real.

How can you be admired for your morals, values, and good character?

Because they are good morals, and good values, to go with good character. If they were not “good” I would not be admired, unless I was in the company of pirates or other such, with lesser morals, values, and bad character traits.

“We cannot measure a person’s value to the human race by tabulating the size of his estate. We must judge each person by his or her final contribution to humanity and nature.”

-- Kilroy J. Oldster

Have you had simple solutions to difficult problems, technical or otherwise?

My simple solution to suicide: Make the conscious choice to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. When you compare true happiness to the alternative, the alternative really sucks. Make the choice to live, and then get rid of all the drama in your life. Drama is poison to happiness. 

What is education? What is the role of education in society?

Education is learning, and learning the right things moves society forward.

What are the benefits of taking a shortcut to be smart or intelligent?

There are no shortcuts to real learning. It is what it is. You do the work or you haven’t really learned anything. Some people find it easy to learn, others not so much. It is easier to become "smart" than it is to become intelligent, however. Being smart simply relies on having good sense. If you find someone who is smart and intelligent, you have come upon a true anomaly.

What habits spoil the colorfulness of shoes?

Outdoor labor. Walking on the beach. Getting the shoes wet. And, planting your boot up some idiot's ass will change the color to brown.

Where do you escape when real life gets too tough?

I take a couple of days and drive somewhere I haven’t been. Small towns, antique shops, and cafes with great food and coffee. I don’t wait, however, until life deals me lemons. I go while I’m still happy. You learn to see what’s coming and head it off. It is “me time” well spent.

“Fantasy is escapist, and that is its glory. If a soldier is imprisoned by the enemy, don't we consider it his duty to escape? ...If we value the freedom of mind and soul, if we're partisans of liberty, then it's our plain duty to escape, and to take as many people with us as we can!”

-- J.R.R. Tolkien

Is it necessary to take a shower in order to feel happy?

No, some people actually enjoy smelling like crap or dowsing themselves with an unhealthy dose of patchouli. For me, I don’t take a shower to be happy, I’m happy all the time. I take a shower so I smell like a garden of flowers, not a pile of dirty socks.

Are there any unexpected benefits to incorporating exercise into your weight loss program?

Longevity. Exercising the heart that’s been supporting all of that unhealthy fat might make you live longer. 

What habits help support feelings of happiness?

I find that the habit of striving for true happiness always and in all things, regardless of my circumstances, really supports my feelings of happiness. It is a simple choice to be happy. I recommend making the choice and paying so much less attention to drama.

Do people, who enjoy being alone, also enjoy solitude?

Uh… yeah. Because they enjoy being alone.

What psychological effects can failure have on a person?

If they fall back on society’s negative view, they won’t understand that failure is simply life presenting us an opportunity to learn. They will have an intense feeling of failure, and may not get back up to try again. Multiply this with constant failure, and the fact that they may not understand the need to critique why they failed and to try again, and again, and again, until they attain the goal, and they will probably feel lost. If they accept failure, and they might buy into the societal value of failure. At this other end of the spectrum, they might have been set up by society for suicide. Better to see failure as an opportunity to learn.

“Perceiving failure as an opportunity to learn does not mean that you are trying to negate the consequences of your actions. It simply means that you are ready to try again, this time by using a different strategy or working on your weak points.”

-- F. R. Amoeno

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony: tolerantpastor@gmail.com