Questioning Problems, Emotions, Fools, Regret, Odds, and Lies

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”

-- Albert Einstein

How is a problem known?

By defining it with someone familiar with the symptoms. You might think you know what it is, but someone that’s been down that road before can validate your thought and recommend a fix.

What role does our environment play in achieving long-term happiness?

Everything plays a significant role in personal happiness. My happiness is long-term, as I made the conscious choice to strive for true happiness back in 2005. Like everything else in life, this was a personal choice. I chose to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of my circumstances. Since I’m in control of my circumstances, I make certain that the circumstances, like the environment, are what they should be, or I change them. I am in control of my life. I haven’t allowed anyone to control my life since my divorce, and I have been seriously happy ever since.

What are the challenges affecting youth counseling?

Youth actually giving a shit might be a challenge having an effect.

What are some reasons you feel you cannot reach your potential?

Approaching 70 years of age, I no longer consider most “potentials” in life, unless it’s a good cigar, a glass of bourbon, a great set of legs, or a football game. Every day is a “potential” visit to the cigar bar down the street, with my buddies.

How did ancient people obtain mental happiness and entertainment without computers, smartphones, and books?

They understood the difference between true happiness and attaining goals. They understood the value of work, and they also understood the value of wine, song, and parties.

“True happiness is not achieved when you have a perfect life. It is achieved when you are happy with the imperfections.”

-- Avijeet Das

Why do I cry whenever I hear or read someone talking about what they dreamed? Even when I talk/write about mine. it doesn't matter if it's a scary or sad, or happy dream, my eyes always fill up with tears.

Seriously emotional. How are you when someone says they love you?

Why are some people very lazy without any work ethic or aim in life? How would you help said person to do better for themselves?

You can’t save people from themselves. They have to want what you’re selling, and a lazy person with no work ethic will laugh at you as they lounge around or collect a stipend for doing nothing. Tents and doorway squatters are invading the downtown of many cities. This should tell us volumes.

How can you outgrow yourself?

Learn. There is no better way to grow than to accumulate more knowledge.

At 20 years old, I feel a sense of failure. I look around and my peers are ahead of me and doing better than me. I feel like a real bum and a loser. I know I can do better with my life. I wish this feeling would stop. How should I handle this?

Are they selflessly giving of themselves to those with less? You might think about volunteering at soup kitchens, food pantries, and the like. There are many ways to rise above a pit of misery, and selfless giving of oneself can do the trick. Have any of your “peers” tried this?

I have to say, though, that at the age of 20, I was drafted for military service and volunteered for the Air Force. Serving for four years can get your head straight. I left a psychology degree and stayed in the military for 23 years. Have any of your “peers” tried this?

You are at the age where being a “first responder” might give you some insight into what you really want to do. You are still young, so you can try this for a few years.

How will you know if you are much better than someone you think is more talented than you are?

Challenge them to a “friendly” competition.

“Challenge and adversity are meant to help you know who you are. Storms hit your weakness, but unlock your true strength.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

How do I win over the fools? I know it's better to avoid them, but I'm saying this to not make myself get humiliated by them.

They are fools, so you are already “over” them. Since they are fools, the chance they’ll understand that you’ve risen above them is slim, and the fear of being "humiliated" by them is misplaced. Better to just smile and, in all humility, admit to yourself you are a step or two above. It will do your ego no favor to lord this over them, so be humble.

What is the most unusual hobby you have or have had?

When I was in Junior High I plotted “bigfoot” sightings on a wall map, color-coded for seasons. Took me quite some time, and I had to learn to plot positions on a map.

How do we benefit from adversity? Do people who don't struggle fail?

Everyone struggles, and if they say they don’t they’re probably lying. It isn’t the struggle that’s important, it is the perseverance to work through the struggle, to learn, and to critique why you’ve struggled. Life is full of “speed bumps” that we need to learn how to navigate around or plow through.  

Is intuition a form of common sense?

I think so. It’s too bad, though, that good sense isn’t that common.

What are some ways to handle boredom and stress if you are not an entrepreneur?

Live life! Life is so much more rewarding for longevity than working your tail off. Strive to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. Smile and the world will smile with you, except for those members of the League of the Perpetually Offended. They will be so offended that you dared to smile. When you run into them, smile bigger. It will really piss them off.

“The reason many people in our society are miserable, sick, and highly stressed is because of an unhealthy attachment to things they have no control over.”

-- Steve Maraboli

Is forgiveness a crock of shit and only practiced by weak people who don't know what real hurt and pain are?

No, and whoever said it, in my mind, was sharing their own crock of shit. “Weak” people probably know better than others what real hurt and pain are. If not physically, then mentally. But, Mahatma Gandhi said something that plays to this: “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

What he’s saying is, if the weak are forgiving, who is the stronger? Something to consider. 

Why, on average, do we feel the need to change smartphones every 2 years even if the latter is fully functional? Is it the influence of those around us that leads us to do so or just personal satisfaction?

Built-in obsolescence. The “4G” won’t work on the “5G” network and, in a couple of years, the “5G” won’t work on the “6G” network. I’d love to have my flip phone back.

If I inquire about narcissism and how it affects me, how can I ask the question without being judged as judgemental for using the word narcissist? That ‘judgment’ derails the question every time which seems suspicious. Is there a better term?

That would be very judgmental of them. You’re asking a question about narcissism, so ask it. The only people who will care are the League of the Perpetually Offended, and no one really cares about them. There is no better term thanthe term. It is a question. People need to tell someone who really cares about their being judgmental of people being judgmental. It is really about as stupid as narcissism. This is a question-and-answer site, so ask the question and ignore the offended. 

Why do I regret being myself with my friends?

Sounds foolish, not being you when you’re with people who are supposed to accept the real you. With such a lack of confidence in “friends” maybe you should look for better friends.

Whenever humans try to learn anything new and different, why do they stress?

Fear of failure, which is silly. Failure is the best way we learn. When we fail, life is presenting us with an opportunity to learn better than those who didn’t fail. Who would you want to hire, someone who has never failed, or someone who has failed and persevered? God knows what the one who has never failed would do when faced with failure, but we know what the person who failed will do… they will persevere in the face of adversity, learn from it, as they have always done, and move forward a more capable employee for the lesson. 

“When you're stressed, you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate, and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”

-- Anonymous

What encourages you to continue striving through life's challenges?

Understanding that life’s challenges are simply an opportunity to learn. We are here to learn, so I am fulfilling my destiny every day when I wake up to another glorious day in Paradise with another chance to excel. The alternative simply sucks.

What do you think about fake love?

It isn’t real.

When did you decide to undertake further study?

Constantly. My bookshelves are filled with philosophy, world religions, physics, poetry, political commentary, and more. Never stop reading, never stop gathering knowledge, and never stop preparing for the next great adventure.

Upon what avenue does one find oneself when faced with insurmountable odds against a long-pursued goal?

Perseverance Avenue.

When anybody tries to tell them they accept their own choices and opinions, why do they say that it’s not a matter of belief?

This question is confusing to me, nothing new, but I'll answer it the way I understand it.

Acceptance doesn’t mean the choice or opinion is valid, it just might make more sense than any other bullshit that’s been offered. People have faith that they are right, not realizing that this “faith” is simply a “belief” in something with little or no proof to validate it.

“The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it.”

-- Neil deGrasse Tyson

Note to my readers:  Think about Tyson's quote, if you don't believe it.  What he's actually saying is, science is what it is until it isn't, then it is what it is again.  Keep moving forward. 

 I want to improve myself in terms of habits, personality, fitness, and studies. How can I start?

Recognize that, by simply asking this question, you have put yourself on the path of improvement. This is the first step, the “start” of improvement. Now, you have to ignore my bullshit and listen to those who have credible advice to offer.

What are some of the benefits of tackling boredom creatively?

You might find a new hobby that really interests you, or you might just find your life’s work, not to mention everything in between.

How is your perception of me a reflection of you?

I don’t know you, so if I perceive you as an asshole, that is a reflection that I am ignorantly judgmental. If I know you, on the other hand, it still reflects on me as being judgmental, but I’m more than likely right in my judgment because I have knowledge of you.

If all 331.9 million people were political and voted, which political party would be in power?

Democrats. People tend to vote with their hearts.

What do you think about the expression "Things happen when at least expected"?

It makes sense. If you don’t expect anything to happen, it will. Why?  Because shit happens all the time. Just because you don’t expect it doesn’t mean that “happening” takes a vacation. Shit will still happen, and usually at the most inopportune time… because you’re not expecting it.

"Expect the unexpected because life is full of surprises. Things that you can't prevent from happening because they're meant to happen, but instead of running away from it, you should embrace it, solve it and learn from it."

-- Melchor Lim

Is there a measurable advantage to being honest or lying?

You don’t have to remember honesty. It is what it is. A lie, on the other hand…

How can you turn a rejection into an opportunity?

Rejection is a failure, and failure is life presenting you with an opportunity to learn. Don’t waste the opportunity. Go find something, or someone, better. 

Why is it hard sometimes to trust yourself and confidently state that I am right? I think I have become mentally weak and my trust in my own thoughts has weakened (Note: I am a student who is struggling socially)?

It is your opinion you state. As an opinion, it can be right or wrong. Just because someone in authority states something, they can also be stating their opinion. Knowing that you can be either, right or wrong, it is more prudent to state that it is just your opinion and that you might be wrong. You might, also, add your reasons or proof that leads you to this opinion. Building confidence is a matter of trial and error. Understand that no one is always right and if they think they are, they’re probably full of shit. As you get older you will get better, but remember that no one is ever perfect.

How do I discover which career path will give me the most joy in life?

Make a list of the ones that most interest you, then pick the one that makes you happier. Do yourself a favor, though - keep the list.

Is it possible for a person who compulsively lies to gain the trust and respect of others?

Yes. Most people are gullible. The problem for liars are the people that aren’t gullible.

“Do not be so open-minded that your brains fall out.”

-- G.K. Chesterton

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony: tolerantpastor@gmail.com