Questioning Focus, Skills, Questions, Greed, and Morality

“If I had an hour to solve a problem I'd spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.”

-- Albert Einstein 

Should a person focus on the problem and not the solution first?

How do you come up with a solution if you haven’t defined the problem? You have a solution in search of a problem.

“Water”

“What about it?”

“It’s the answer.”

“What was the question?”

“I don’t know yet, but the answer is water.”

If I think I'm straight, then can I stop thinking I'm gay?

Good luck!

I am convincing myself that I am me? How can I convince myself?

Ask anyone who lives in reality. Without even meeting you, I can attest, unequivocally, that you are you. Regardless of who you think you are, you are you. If you choose to be someone else, you are still you. You simply can’t escape yourself.

If I choose not to decide, have I still made a choice?

The fact that you say you “choose” not to decide, means you have made the choice.

If there is no one correct answer to philosophical questions, does that make them moot?

If they were “moot” you would not have learned the important lesson that there is more than one answer. The answer to “Why?” is “Because.” People ask the question and then tell you not to answer “Because.” But, to answer the question of “Why?”, it stands to reason you have to begin your answer with, “Because.”

A moot question is one you ask after the answer is obvious. If you spill your coffee and someone asks if you’re going to spill your coffee, the question is moot because you already have. Even the “moot” question is not entirely moot, however. We still learn that the person asking the moot question is ignorant of the obvious answer.

"For every complex problem, there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong."

-- H. L. Mencken

I struggle to generate those feelings of gratitude that people say is so nourishing to their soul. Can you help me to make progress with this?

The people who find it nourishing, sound a bit selfish. Being selfless in what you do means not expecting anything in return. Being selfless in your giving is reward enough to those that understand. If you are the recipient of charity, simply say thank you, and pay it forward when you feel you can.

How important is it to set goals for yourself in life?

If you don’t set a goal, how will you get out of bed? How will you eat? How will you get from point A to point B? We set goals from the moment we wake in the morning, whether we realize it or not. It is life.

When do we learn lessons most effectively and why not always so?

When they are taught so you can understand. Teaching above understanding is not teaching. It’s listening to yourself bloviate.

Can you be too creative?

Can you be alive too much? Creativity is what it is, and how well you create is in the eye of the beholder. When I speak I create words. When I speak well, I am an educated creator of the speeches I produce. If my creativity “tops out” perhaps I have missed a creative moment, a creative thought. I will find something else to be creative with until I figure out what I missed. Humans don’t live long enough to experience being too creative.

Does forgiveness come easily or is it something you have to work at?

It depends on the person. If you recognize that everyone, including you, makes mistakes, it’s probably easy. “There, but for the grace of God, go I.” How would you like to be treated?

"All bitterness and rage and anger and shouting and slander should be put away from you, along with all malice. Become kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God also forgave you in Christ."

-- Ephesians 4:31–32

 What would your life look like today if schooling had done everything possible to help you develop and express your creative genius? What more would you have accomplished?

I would have been an officer in the military. I would have married better. I would have risen to the rank of Colonel. I would have retired to be a corporate officer (lackey). I would be better off monetarily. And, best of all, I would have found true happiness so much earlier in life. 

How has your approach changed to taking advice from others over time?

Nope. I still listen and critique, and then I weigh the pros and cons before doing the wrong thing.

I will graduate from the medical university in a few months and I still haven't decided what major to choose. How can I reach the right decision? Sometimes I think of quitting medicine.

You’re going to graduate, so you must be good at it. Think about the future of medicine. How about space medicine? How about creating better robotic systems to do surgery when you’re not with the patient? How about medical research? Medical engineering? How about joining the military and putting what you know to good use? They help you focus on what you’re good at. Being a quitter just doesn’t sound like what you’re all about.  But, if you choose that road, you'll probably find you've majored in it.  Just saying.

How has failure enabled you to make successful choices in the future?

Absolutely. Failure is one of the best ways we can learn. It isn’t that you’ve failed, it’s what you do with the failure that is important.

Are there healthy ways of dealing with regrets while avoiding feeling overwhelmed by them?

What’s done is done, if you can’t make it better, learn from your error and press on down the road. Understand that you have no further influence on the issue, so why bother with it other than for the lesson? There isn’t much I regret, other than I may not have experienced something I wish I had, and a marriage I experienced and wished I hadn’t. But, the marriage is water under the bridge. I have moved on, without her, more intelligent for the experience.

"I don't regret what I've been through. I've had ups and downs, super highs and some really low lows. I've been so blessed that I could never say, 'I wish this didn't happen.' It's part of who I am. There's nothing in my life that's so ugh."

-- Jennifer Lopez

Who was the first human who died?

Adam and Eve begat Cain and Abel. Cain kills Abel. Abel would, then, be the first death. But, this story is a mess. Cain is banished to the land of Nod, where he meets his wife and builds a city for her people. All of a sudden we have a peopled civilization. So, none of these people died before Abel? This is a very good question you have asked, and a reason “holy scripture” has issues.

How can I better develop my problem-solving skills?

Through trial and error. The best way we learn is through failure and attaining goals. 

What is a time you struggled to have hope? How did you find hope? How did you find a way to share this hope with others?

After my divorce. I had lost everything, including my children and my right to be a father to them. I was ready to throw in the towel because the only thing I had left was me. I had faith that “me” was enough. Faith gave birth to “hope” that everything would be okay, given time. I became a minister and have shared this ad nauseam.

Reader comment: That would be an incredibly difficult challenge. I cannot imagine living this life without my children. Thank you for sharing this. I lost my entire family growing up when I converted to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It was the darkest period of my life and the brightest. I now have a family of my own again and have been able, after many years, to reconnect to my family of origin. I also really love sharing my beliefs with others, especially messages of hope. I know in our darkest hour there is always some little bit of light left if we choose to look for it. Well done on moving forward! 

How can we unify the seemingly separate aspects of ourselves?

Already done. I unified all the aspects into me. They are actually already unified as such... but, don't tell anyone.

Do people see their partners as better than themselves?

Some probably do. There should be a healthy dose of “give and take” in any relationship. One is better at some things and the other is better at some things. As for me, I’m willing to say that women are much better at giving birth to children than I ever want to be.

“Both partners can grow and evolve together once they mutually work for what is right rather than fighting for who is right in their committed relationship.”

-- Dhiraj Kumar Raj

When is the best time to ask an easy question?

Any time is a good time for an easy question. They usually have easy answers.

How can we better accept both the good and bad in our lives?

Accept that it is what it is. There must be balance, so there is always going to be good and bad. We mitigate the bad by making better choices and decisions in life. Failure and mistakes are the best way we can learn, so accept good and bad as opportunities to learn.

If a person never asks questions, are they truly living?

Asking questions and learning answers are a large part of truly living. 

I have no will to live. Why is that?

Not knowing you, one can only assume you lost it. You might want to find it before it’s too late. Any day on this side of the dirt is a great day. The alternative simply sucks.

Let’s say I had a very bad childhood. I did not have any friends. I was not treated nicely by my family, friends and etc. I never experienced playing or traveling. Now I am an atheist. Why would not I be a very evil human to have money and wealth?

Not a reason I can think of. You have let yourself be steered into the grips of bad karma by allowing everyone to do everything that has happened to you. Personally, I would have run away before this shit got this deep. Found a new family, and new friends, joined the military, and traveled, but, hell, you don’t even have God to fall back on. Good luck with karma when it shows up. It can be a cold, relentless, bitch to the very evil.

“Karma comes after everyone eventually. You can't get away with screwing people over your whole life, I don't care who you are. What goes around comes around. That's how it works. Sooner or later the universe will serve you the revenge that you deserve.”

-- Jessica Brody

Do you think greed should exist?

We wouldn’t know greed if it didn’t exist. We must have greed, or selfishness, to recognize non-greed or selflessness. It is part of the balance in the universe.

Why is everything difficult in life?

Because life is a classroom, and you’re supposed to get with the program. 

Can you really strive and fulfill your ambition while being in a relationship?

If it is a good relationship and your partner supports your effort and ambition, strive away! If the relationship sucks, why are you in it?

Do you think it's possible to make money without a conscience?

People are doing it all the time, and then karma catches up.

How can you make your life meaningful when you don't have a family that truly cares about you or a place where you belong to live in?

How? Because you’re the only one who can. Plan for when you can make your own decisions and choices, you know, like an adult. You know what a crappy family is like, so create a good one. You know what not belonging is like, so make a place where you feel at home. You know all the bad, so plan on creating the good. Leave all the shit where you found it, and create what you want.

“We create a meaningful life by what we accept as true and by what we create in the pursuit of truth, love, beauty, and adoration of nature.”

-- Kilroy J. Oldster

“A meaningful life is one in which you deeply connect to your purpose. A person living life with purpose is a hero who gets up every day with a clear sense of who they are and what they are doing in the world.”

-- Wayne Mellinger

Are most people too harsh on themselves? If so, why?

I am my own worst critic. It is the way I persevere and challenge myself to be better. I may not excel, but I certainly try to be better than I was.

What is the definition of a moral code? Why do people have moral codes?

A “moral code” is a good moral code of ethics that defines us for those we meet and interact with. If we stand by our code through thick and thin it tells people who we are and what they can expect from us.  Honesty and loyalty are two big ethical codes. 

Do couples who fight over money always break up?

Couples who fight, usually break up, or they are miserable, or they kill each other, one of the three.

Is there a time when we should not spend too much time on the internet?

When responsibility demands you be somewhere else, like outside, enjoying the fresh air. This would be exercising responsibility for oneself. It is a concept, I know, but more of us need to get on board. 

I like your point of view. Where are you from?

This is easy:

“Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning.” 

-- J.M. Barrie

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony: tolerantpastor@gmail.com