Questioning Disrespect, Thanks, Sabotage, Challenges, and Advice

 

“When I look at a person, I see a person - not a rank, not a class, not a title.”

-- Criss Jami

Is there literally anyone that is disrespecting me at this present moment?

I don’t know you, so how can I disrespect you? However, your question is a bit concerning. Do you feel disrespected by strangers all the time?

How do most successful people who have big projects and a very loaded schedule manage their time? Do they use paper or do they use Excel or Notion? What do they do?

They have people. 

Would you agree with the quote, you can have a Ph.D., and still be a complete idiot?

I’ve known doctors that can’t balance their accounts, lick their plates at dinner, and have no interpersonal skills. So, yes, I agree with the quote.

What is the biggest lesson in 2022 you will be taking to 2023?

Things end... and people die. A sad acknowledgment for a man approaching 70 years of life. 

How can we make the world a better place even if we're broke?

If you have no money, you can’t be kind? If you’re broke, you can’t help? If you’re down to your last dollar, you can’t donate? Being selfless isn’t all about money, it’s about what we do to help make this mess a better place. It costs nothing to lend an ear, a helping hand, or to be the light in the darkness.

“If everyone decided to forgive at least one person who hurt them by the end of the year, the world would be filled with people exchanging hugs and kisses, instead of words and bullets.”

-- Matshona Dhliwayo

How can I better understand my inner motivations for guilt?

Understand and own the reason for your guilt.

Why is it illegal to pay for a happy ending?

You are supporting prostitution and, nowadays, human trafficking. I’m all about “happy endings” but legally beats the embarrassment of paying the fine or explaining your “urges” to a judge.

How do I think of the thoughts that I want to think of and chain them sequentially in the way I want without any confusion, distraction, and effort?

It might help if we had some context, like the thoughts you want to think.

What are the consequences of stealing something small at work?

It depends on if you get caught. If you aren’t, then you might think something bigger is in order. Sooner or later someone will notice and karma will kick your ass to the curb. Good luck finding meaningful employment.

Does money give anyone long-lasting happiness?

No. Unless they learn true happiness, the “happiness” the money gives them lasts as long as the money.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

What are some ways that I can make sure my constructive criticism is actually helpful and not harmful?

Only give criticism when asked. Try not to be brutal in your critique. I always ask if they want constructive honesty or if they’d like me to lie. Explain that you have your own tastes. I offer kudos for the areas that appeal to me, before dipping into the sewer I think they’d rather not be made aware of. I try to give them my own take on how to better attain what I think they’re trying to put forth. And, never forget that your thoughtful “criticism” is probably being critiqued. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and they may see what I’ve missed. Try not to dig too deep for your material, especially if you value their friendship.

Is it possible to be morally bankrupt yet financially successful?

Yes, but true happiness will probably elude you due to karma.

What are the long-term implications of not adhering to our core values?

Loss of identity, loss of trust, loss of friendship and family, guilt, a possible criminal record, and other such. but this only holds for not adhering to good core values. If you choose not to adhere to bad core values, you run the risk of receiving all of the above, and probably more. Personally, I’ve been pretty happy trying to adhere to good core values. 

What kinds of investments do financially successful people make?

Sound investments with great track records. “Blue Chip” stocks and desired real estate.

What can be done at an individual level to prevent ourselves from becoming morally bankrupt?

First, do everything at an individual level. Develop a good moral set of ethical standards you can stand by, regardless of how it hurts. Your personal “code of ethics” defines who you are to those around you. Understand that everything you do is a personal choice, your individual choice. It is your life, not someone else’s. You really cannot shift blame or guilt for what you freely do, or do not do, so always try to do what is right and good.

“To say a person is morally bankrupt is to say he or she is completely devoid of any decent moral qualities.”

-- Jerry Bridges

Why can't I do whatever I want? Why do I have to have obligations and responsibilities? I'm a human being.

Yes, you are a human being. Welcome to obligations and responsibilities! Next life, you might get in the line for cats. They seem to do whatever they want. In the meantime, you might want to get with the program and try to find happiness as you grow into maturity (obligations and responsibility).

What's the best way to say thank you for your guidance?

“Thank you, for your guidance.” It really is that simple.

In a post-scarcity society, how do people satisfy their greed and need to show off?

There will always be something that is scarce. Art, precious metals, gemstones, status, true friends, and so much more will continue to be scarce. Society may not put value into them, but the individual will, and they will have a need to “show off” to others. Greed makes the world go around.

Why are there some manipulative people who fake depression to get people to give them what they want?

Because they are manipulative.

What are some things in your life you want to change in the past?

There are some women I wish I’d dated, and told that I loved, but that’s about it. My life has had its ups and downs and still turned out pretty good, considering. Changing the past would change more than the issue I would want to change, so I think I’ll leave the past alone.

"You couldn't erase the past. You couldn't even change it. But sometimes life offered you the opportunity to put it right."

-- Ann Brashares

What elements of sabotage are self-defeating, and what are beneficial?

Both would be the consequence of choices and decisions we make in our lives. The bad is defeating and the good is beneficial.

What areas of the mind can you be considered weak in?

Multi-tasking. I can’t even listen to music or watch television when I have to concentrate.

How can you tell when you're facing random obstacles, and when the universe is telling you "no"?

There are no “random obstacles.” Obstacles are the consequence of choices and decisions we make. When you make enough lousy choices and decisions, you might take a step back and say, “No.”

Are you born loving yourself, or does it happen over time?

It happens over time. You probably do, but you won’t realize it for some time.

Are we digitally oversaturated with the number of accounts and apps that are meant to help us on a daily basis?

Yes! Many of us should try taking care of some of them on our own. I know it’s a concept for many, but we might actually save a buck by handling some of the stuff ourselves. A big “account” issue is for everyone to stay out of debt. In this way, you don’t have to pay a butt load of interest, keep tabs on your spending, or be some lending corporation’s bitch. They just love indentured servitude; they will make sure you never earn your way out.

“If you are on social media, and you are not learning, not laughing, not being inspired, or not networking, then you are using it wrong.”

-- Germany Kent

Is there any benefit that comes from making bad decisions?

Knowledge, if you’re smart enough to learn from yourself.

What age of your life had a unique occurrence?

23 years ago, when I was 46, I went through my divorce. A once and only occurrence in my life, since I will never get married again.

What are some things that people should say more often that are nice?

“Thank you for being my friend.”

What challenges do individuals face when trying to maintain and increase their wealth?

Frivolous spending. People have a big challenge with saving money and staying out of debt, especially for things that are too expensive and they really don’t need. I hate seeing people who live in a hovel but drive a $50,000 car when a used car would suffice. I’ve been out of debt and have driven used cars for the past 22 years. I have nothing to prove and, looking back, I never really needed to prove anything to anybody, so I never spent the money to keep up.

Is it harder to make friends or keep them?

If you are all true friends, keeping them isn’t an issue, Making friends, however, takes a bit of effort.

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched — they must be felt with the heart.”

-- Helen Keller

What makes someone consistently happy and successful despite life’s challenges?

Making the choice to be so. You have to make the conscious choice to strive for true happiness always and in all things, regardless of you circumstances. This “choice” makes true happiness sustainable... until you change your choice, which would be counterproductive.

How can we reduce stress levels and maintain mental well-being?

Strive to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. It is a choice, just like being stressed. You bring it on yourself by acceptance.

Are there times when embracing failure is better than trying to succeed?

You always embrace failure, as it is the best way we learn. Learning means you can continue to strive for the goal you’re after. Quitting is the only speedbump to attain goals. Failure is just a learning opportunity life places before us. It isn’t failure that holds us back. It’s what we do with failure that determines the path we take.

What do you think is the key to achieving your dreams?

There are three keys: Knowledge, perseverance, and true happiness.

How do I know if it's worth pursuing a relationship with someone who has been hurt in the past?

Two questions you have to answer: Are they worth your selfless effort and understanding? Are you selflessly deserving of them? If the answers are both a heartfelt “yes,” you have your answer.

"You can't just give up on someone because the situation is not ideal. Great relationships are not great because they have no problems. They are great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work."

-- Unknown

How can a parent teach their children public speaking from childhood?

You’re in the back of the room, so have them speak up, don’t mumble. Have them speak clearly and enunciate. Know what they’re going to say before they speak, and ask them questions about what they just said. They need to be prepared to answer questions even when they aren’t ready. If you can’t answer questions about what you say, then don’t say anything.

What should I do? Need advice

Is there any context to this question? If not, try contemplating belly button lint.

What is the most unusual hobby you have or have had?

When I was 12 years old, I plotted out, on a large U.S. map, every UFO sighting to date. When I was 13 years old, I plotted out every “Bigfoot” sighting to date. When I was 21 years of age, I was tasked to help plot the “theoretical” nuclear destruction of our enemies. I love maps.

What are some of your triggers?

Incompetence. Especially, incompetent drivers. Don’t text and drive.

Do we become who we are married to, whether we want to or not? And do we stay who we become, for the rest of our lives?

Never become someone you’re not… unless it’s your job, that is. I hang with people for who they are, not because I want them to be me. I have enough trouble dealing with me, so I really don’t need two of me hanging around for my entire life. I don’t want people to “live” for me. I want them to “live” for themselves and share their experiences with me. My ex-wife didn’t understand this, to my chagrin.

“Everyone's life is different. It's only a competition if you feel less about yourself and try to live like someone else.”

-- Hopal Green

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony: tolerantpastor@gmail.com