Questions on Humility, Truth, and Character

 

“Who is more humble? The scientist who looks at the universe with an open mind and accepts whatever the universe has to teach us, or somebody who says everything in this book must be considered the literal truth and never mind the fallibility of all the human beings involved?”

-- Carl Sagan

How can you separate yourself from the weak?

USE A STICK! If you hit them hard enough they’ll let go.  Just kidding.

Stand up for yourself. If bullies beat you down, get back up. People who stand up for themselves aren’t much fun to bully. I found this out in high school and started to stand up for others, as well. Bullies started leaving me alone when others started backing me up when I was helping others.

Who are some people that overcame nepotism to become respected for their own merits and work?

That was me. I worked for a company my aunt owned. After many months she found out that no one knew she was my aunt. When she asked me why I denied her I explained the problem she’s forgotten with nepotism. Soon, the secret came out but, by then, I had already earned my own respect from the other workers.

If you are only allowed to use one word to describe yourself, which word would you use?

Happy!

Whom do we trust for the truth?

Politicians are out, mass media has done us no favors, and clergy are more lost than the sheep they tend. However, the “Christain Science Monitor” was our “go-to” for the best information, in my intelligence units, when we had conflicting facts. For over 20 years, the CSM was always on our subscription renewal list for the office.

Reader's comment:  Christian Science? Aren't those the guys who say prayer alone is enough to cure illnesses and that it's best to refuse real-life medical care?

My reply:  It is, and their Monitor was essential reading for factual international news, and still is. If it wasn’t factual, they had no problem saying it was the best they could get, or that it was supposition. Their contradictions to mainstream media news seemed to always be spot on.  When in doubt, we picked up the CSM as another check.

Reader's reply:  I guess my issue is that trust in whether or not someone reports facts is partly determined by an organization’s stance on other factual information. So here we have an organization that has an overtly anti-scientific stance, at a potential detriment to its own members. That doesn’t seem to speak well for its willingness to look at information objectively.

I suppose it’s possible that they have a kind of split personality in that regard, and their political teams have a healthier relationship with research. But to me, that just seems like a real red flag.

My reply:  And you are absolutely right. However, we had to look past their religious beliefs and recognize that they had “boots on the ground” in areas of the world that other outlets did not, including the military. This gave them a unique perspective others did not have. Our job was to leave no stone unturned in putting together reliable information, and they proved reliable many more times than not, even if it was to validate what we already had.

Are open marriages psychologically healthy for couples?

Not a clue. But, I’ll bet you they’re more fun. Isn’t fun psychologically healthy?

"An open marriage is nature's way of telling you that you need a divorce."

-- Ann Landers

What does it mean in the end that we only regret the chances we didn't take?

It means, you’ll only regret what you didn’t do in life. It’s a stupid saying. 

I certainly won’t miss jumping out of a perfectly good aircraft with a “bat suit” on. Nor will I miss base jumping, free-climbing, mountain climbing, swimming with sharks, big game hunting, spelunking, or anything else that might put my life in jeopardy. I have had the chance to do all of these, and more. I didn’t take them. I don’t regret the chances I didn’t take.

However, I do regret some of the chances I did take, like sordid affairs with married women, choosing bad friendships, marriage to the wrong woman, and other poor investments, especially in stocks.  Sometimes I have to take a step back, shake my head, and ask myself, "What was I thinking?"

How do I forgive myself for saying mean things I regret? I apologized and was forgiven, but I cannot forgive myself and feel extreme guilt and shame.

You can forgive yourself all you want. The people can forgive you. It doesn’t matter, because you know in your heart you were being mean. Well, shame on you. Now, go forward, having learned a valuable lesson that you’ll think about for a while. I will share a quote a famous teacher once said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.” 

What's the relationship between integrity and character?

Your personal integrity is what you base your true character on. 

Why is it so easy to slip back into bad habits?

Bad habits are hard enough to kick, but they are so very easy to slip back into. We enjoy our habits immensely, this is why we keep doing them habitually. We find it hard to stop what we enjoy even when we know for a fact it isn’t good for us.

Why do people, after being diagnosed with lung cancer, still smoke cigarettes while toting their oxygen bottle behind them? We can’t help ourselves. We enjoy it, even unto death, unless we have the willpower to stop permanently.

I say “stop” and not “quit” because you will not have quit until you die having never picked up the habit again. Then, and only then, will people be able to declare you have quit.

What saved you from ending it all?

Good sense. It would accomplish nothing. What comes next? Oh, nothing. Why? Because you’re dead. Oh, and you accomplished nothing, except to prove to everyone you were a weak-ass pussy, who just couldn’t handle it.

The problem was, I wasn’t a weak-ass pussy. I had an ex-wife with “issues” and two children I couldn’t be a father for because of her, not because of me. I asked myself how I climbed down this low, and I looked up to an imaginary ladder… and smiled as I looked past it, into the heavens.  I laughed and cried the rest of the night.

I climbed back out, with help from good friends and family. I recovered my life and never looked back. I vowed to be happy always and in all things, and to never take anything that seriously, ever again.

That was 22 years ago.

“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.”

-- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Is it not true that we are not created equally? I've seen some that are just handed rights to things I must earn.

You are created equal. After that, what happens in your life is up to you. If some get what you must earn, you should do something about it, like find out the facts. If you don’t like what you find out, then be the impetus for change.

How do I tell people I don't want their wrong advice?

“Thank you, for your wrong advice, but, I can screw this up on my own, I really don’t need your help.”  Or, you can try, "Your nose is in my business.  Would you mind moving it, please?"

What are five situations in which you exercise freedom based on moral standards?

My faith, patriotism, work ethic, loyalty, honesty. I am free to have faith, I am free to love my country, I am free to exercise loyalty to whom I wish, I am free to exercise my honesty with everyone.

I’m also free to be exceedingly happy always and in everything I do. I freely give you a “bonus” situation.

If a girl says “I'm wet”, does that mean she wants sex?

Is it raining? 

Do men sometimes not text back quickly so they don’t look too keen?

They can be confused, text slowly (all thumbs), driving, working, juggling several texts at once (yes, you might be numero three), or they really might not be that keen.

“Always to be right, always to trample forward, and never to doubt, are not these the great qualities with which dullness takes the lead in the world?”

-- William Makepeace Thackeray

What excellent is life, besides having pain being happy outside but not on the inside and not having a happy life?

Life is what you make of it. If everything you listed makes your life excellent, then bravo! Personally, I’d be making choices that raise the bar a bit from “sucks” to “bearable” and then work daily to keep it moving upward. You may not be able to do much about the pain, but you can sure do much about the rest of it. Try getting rid of all the drama in life. That helps quite a few. 

This person and I started talking a lot more recently. We both found out we have interests in certain things and felt like a match. She said we are like twins. Is this good or bad?

The “twins” comment may not be far from wrong. There is a theory I read that all people have a “charge” and this “charge” attracts like “charge” and this is why we make friends, good friends, or best friends. Why, then, if we are reborn again and again, would it seem so strange that we meet others we feel we’ve met before, or make friends with those we feel so much alike that we may have been twins in another life? Is this a bad thing? I don’t think so, but how you feel is a choice you must make.

Is humility being humble?

The definitions would evidence a big “yes” to your question. For myself, as a “humble” philosopher, I strive to present a “modest” view of my own importance.

Humility: A modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness.

Humble: Having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's own importance.

Why is it important to be kind and humble?

It is personally important, for me, to see everyone as an equal, deserving of respect and kindness, until they show me they aren’t. These are free choices we both make. I choose to treat them with respect and kindness, and they choose to act like an ass. Both of us might be happy in who we are, but only one of us will be truly happy and be able to share that happiness with others. 

To see others as equals, especially the least of us, requires humility. We humble ourselves by dismissing the trappings of any superiority in order to do good work for those around us. First responders exercise this when they recognize the efforts of the team and shrug off any talk of heroism. It is just their job. It is what they do. This is important. But, then, I could be wrong on all of this. 

Is a noble person liked by all people? Why?

That would depend on whether they wear their nobility like an entitlement, instead of being humble that people view them as noble. The fact a person is noble does not necessarily require others to like them, respect them, or show them any deference. These must all be earned in order to be deserved.

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

-- Ernest Hemingway

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com