Questioning Parenting, Love, Life, and Wealth

 

“To ask a man whether or not he has a girlfriend is to talk about his sex life. If you disagree with that, then how in the name of God do you differentiate between a man’s girlfriend and a girl that is a friend to the man?”

-- Mokokoma Mokhonoana

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Note to my readers:  My answers garnered 10,813 views last week.  I did the math, since my readership seems to be climbing, and it works out to 562,276 views in a year.  Well, damn.  Who woulda thought?  I just hope the season wasn't the reason, because it looks as if I'm starting out the new year with a bang.  I just hope I can hold onto it.  Thanks to all those who stop in to read my humble offerings.  I am, still and always, humbled by your attention.

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What's the best approach to making sure something never happens again?

Stay as far away from it as possible. After my divorce, I’ve stayed as far away from marriage as possible. Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice? Never gonna happen. Sorry ladies.

Is it unreasonable that my daughter expects me to cook her breakfast before school?

No. What’s unreasonable is her having to ask you to do it.

When I’m out in public, I feel like I am constantly stared at. Is there something wrong with me?

I don’t know. Is your fly zipped?

"I could live here," Del said. "No, you couldn't. You'd turn into a coot and hang out at the general store, with your fly down," Lucas said. "You'd be known for goosing middle-aged women. You'd be the town embarrassment." 

-- John Sandford

What is it like for older (retirement age) people moving in with a new love?

Like a younger person moving in with a new love, only the bed stays made. You might check the couch cushions, however. Maybe the dining room table. Been there, done that, always bears repeating… lest we forget.

My friend hates me because I was an ass, how can I rectify this with her?

Rectify? Really? In the same sentence as “ass”? Try a heartfelt apology, and stop acting like a rectum.

Why aren't ugly-looking people rounded up and killed?

Stop running.

“They have a saying, the French, that no woman, can be truly beautiful who is not also sometimes truly ugly.”

-- Alexandra Ripley

What is the best thing to do when a bus driver is kidnapping you by driving you away on the bus?

Run to the emergency door in the very back and jump out, if possible. But a bus with the emergency door flapping open is going to get a lot of attention, especially if you’re waving your arms and acting scared. Or, you can shove a pointed object, like a pencil, into the kidnapper’s ear, eye, or neck. But, you’d better be real sure they’re kidnapping you, or you’ll be on trial for murder.

What are your best wishes for 2022?

That I make it to 2023.

How do you imagine Melania is holding up after Trump’s defeat?

With the disaster that is the new administration? I’d say she’s probably doing very well. After all, she will always carry the moniker of “First Lady,” and Trump will always be known for working his ass off for the American people and being the most transparent President we’ve ever had in press conferences, and “garden moments” for information transfer.  When the current administration finds it necessary to steal all of Trumps accomplishments for the current President, it says a lot about Trump.

“Women are never so strong as after their defeat.”

--  Alexandre Dumas

Does it hurt less what you've lost or what you've never had?

I can’t see hurting over something I never had. Am I misunderstanding the question?

How do you feel now about the condition you were born in?

Dad did four years in the USAF. We were poor, but mom and dad both worked hard at jobs, paid for everything with cash, not credit, made sure I was educated, and brought me up with a solid sense of good moral ethics. I’m not sure that being “better off” would have made me a better person than I turned out to be. 

Can you thank yourself in an acknowledgment when writing?

How selfishly egotistical would that be? No, I don’t think so.

"There is no respect for others without humility in one's self."

-- Henri Frederic Amiel 

Does having enemies mean you are doing good?

It means they are jealous of what you have, which could be the fact that you’re doing good. They could also see you as someone that wants what they have.

Does feeling younger than your actual age have benefits?

Not that I’ve found. I’m 68 and feel like I’m 40, so I try to do things I did when I was 40. Big mistake. I’m keeping the ibuprofen market in business.

I have my basic needs, income, and stability, but I feel like I'm wasting my life if I'm not out there, traveling, creating empires like everyone seems to be doing these days. What constitutes a fulfilled life?

Well, if you feel like you’re "wasting" your life, you really aren’t fulfilled. You define for yourself what a "fulfilled" life is. No one can do it for you because they aren’t you. They don’t really know what you’ve done or been through. Don’t judge yourself by the accomplishments of others. If you feel the need to do more, then go do more.

“Positive thinking is powerful thinking. If you want happiness, fulfillment, success, and inner peace, start thinking you have the power to achieve those things. Focus on the bright side of life and expect positive results.”

-- Germany Kent

How secret can a secret get?

When it comes to “classifications” the term has to do with the dissemination of the information being kept secret. Who has a “need to know” the information? This is why information can be “For Official Use Only” through to “Top Secret” and then through the caveats attached, No Foreign Dissemination, Single Integrated Operation Plan, Special Compartmentalized Information, etc., etc., ad nauseam, all to control who has a valid need to know the information. It is a tad more convoluted than this, but I’m trying to keep it short and simple.

When I retired from the Intelligence field, I held a Top Secret, SIOP, SCI, etc., etc., clearance. All this meant was, if I had the need to know, I could see the information in those areas up to the level of Top Secret classification. This didn’t mean I couldn’t be cleared to see more, just that this is all I was required to see at the time.

Do you think blood is thicker than water or often friends or more important to you?

It’s situational. If all “blood” has done is screw you, friends can be so much more important.

What is the "meaning of life"? Not the meaning of life but the definition of the phrase "meaning of life".

The definition of the “phase” seems to be: 

“The meaning of life, as we perceive it, is derived from philosophical and religious contemplation of, and scientific inquiries about existence, social ties, consciousness, and happiness. Many other issues are also involved, such as symbolic meaning, ontology, value, purpose, ethics, good and evil, free will, the existence of one or multiple gods, conceptions of God, the soul, and the afterlife.” 

-- Wikipedia, “Meaning of Life”

Is it true that promises aren't always true but grudges always are, why?

Neither is absolute. People break promises, and grudges can be held for the wrong reason. Our perception is only as reliable as our understanding of what we see, hear, and feel. What is true isn’t always true, and facts are only as factual as the information available and the reliability and the hidden agenda of the sources involved.

How often do financially wise people evaluate money matters?

Constantly, which is why they’re financially wise. The is no wisdom in thinking money will take care of itself, or leaving your money matters in the hands of someone else.

Why is wealth used to measure success?

Since, in my opinion, success has nothing to do with wealth, we can chalk it up to society's misunderstanding of terms.

“I’m wealthy because I won the lottery.” No success in this. Pure luck. “I’m wealthy because I achieved my goal of starting a multi-national company.” No success here, just hard work concerning a great idea if the goal is achieved, which it was. 

So, what if you’ve always been exceedingly happy in life? You may not be rich or achieved some hard-earned goal, but you have always been truly happy, regardless of your circumstances. What is this? Success! True success in life!  Show me a person that is so happy, even though they are so poor that they don't have a pot to piss in, even though they work hard to support themselves, and perhaps a family, and I'll show you a successful person. 

If you are truly “successful” in life, everything else is just a goal to be attained.  But, whether you attain the goal or not, you are still going to be exceedingly happy that you made the attempt to achieve the goal.  This is success.

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”

-- Epictetus

Why is it that I am better at giving advice than receiving advice from others?

Are you above criticism?

Could there be something psychologically wrong with me when it comes to love?

That would depend on what you think is wrong. Love, itself, can be the root cause of many “psychological” problems, like eating disorders, stress, frustration, anger, daydreaming, sado-masochism… but, I digress.

What, specifically, makes you think you have a problem?

Is it normal for my boyfriend to only have female close friends?

If I were you, I would find that very concerning. But, then, I worked for a company employing 300 people and almost all of them were women. Who else was I going to hang with? I think it depends on how he acts with them as opposed to how he dotes on you. If you can’t tell, then I’d be very concerned about you.

The best idea is to sit down with him and discuss your concern. Just that will put him on notice that you are watching. Now, sit back and watch what he does with the “notice.”

“In my experience, when you live with a woman for a long period of time, many of them start to remove what you consider “fun” from your life. It’s like they see your fun as a threat to them. They want your only fun, to be them. Sadly, by that stage, there isn’t much fun left in them, for you.”

-- Robert Black

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com