Questioning Priorities, Work, Opinion, and Mistakes

 

“Apology is not about saying I'm sorry, but it is about the meaning you put behind the apology and admitting that you are the wrong part.”

-- Unarine Ramaru

Is it true that "if you work hard you can achieve any achievable thing"?

“Any achievable thing” you are capable of achieving, barring any physical or mental limitations.

How do I start prioritizing my family as a 15yr old?

Never prioritize family. This means you put them in some order for respect and love. Respect family. Love family. Who in the family would you let die in a fire so you can rescue another? Answer this truthfully and you will have prioritized your family, which would be a shame.

How do you keep yourself composed?

I try not to watch the news. Idiots tend to piss me off.

“Losing your head in a crisis is a good way to become the crisis.”

-- C.J. Redwine

What do you think of the phrase “It’s better to be worn out than to rust out”?

Agree. Live life, don’t just sit around rusting. Keep all the parts moving until they wear out on their own.

Why do I often feel aroused for the majority of the year?

When you find out, don’t keep it a secret. I’d loved to be aroused most of the year.

How hard is it to learn a new language in your forties?

It was hard in my twenties when I needed to learn a language. I can’t even imagine trying to learn one when I really don’t need to.

"To handle a language skillfully is to practice a kind of evocative sorcery."

-- Charles Baudelaire

What are the best rules to live a healthy, happy, and balanced lifestyle?

Eat right, smile often, stay out of debt, work at what you enjoy, love the one who loves you back, and keep anger and drama from your door. Strive to be truly happy always and in all things, because the alternative simply sucks.

Have negative people thought you’re egotistical, ignorant, and arrogant for your own knowledge and experience with different topics?

Yes! The League of the Perpetually Offended accuses me of this all the time. Even though I'm knowledgeable, I’ve learned to be ignorant enough to ignore them because, well, I’m also an arrogant egotist, according to them.

Why do people become losers?

Poor planning and preparation? Why we become losers is usually about the choices and decisions we make for our lives. We choose not to plan or prepare as well as we might, or we allow someone to ruin our life and, then, choose not to take it back. If you choose not to take your life back, you allow whoever ruined it to keep ruining it in perpetuity. Being a loser is a choice. Choose not to be one.

“Perfection is man's ultimate illusion. It simply doesn't exist in the universe... If you are a perfectionist, you are guaranteed to be a loser in whatever you do.”

-- David D. Burns

What picture did you see recently that made you feel blessed?

Every Christmas my daughter sends me photos of my grandkids. Every Christmas I am reminded of four blessings in my life, my son and daughter, and my two grandkids. Life is good.

What are your short rules for a better life?

Stay away from debt and drama, and strive to be truly happy always and in all things. The alternative simply sucks.

How do I let go of the regret of a mistake I made when I was 14? I’m now 17 and each year I feel worse about it. I didn’t realize how bad it was at the time and when I did I never did it again. I also never hurt anybody with this regret.

Such is guilt, the precursor of regret. If you can change what you did, this will help. Apologies help. Owning up to what you did can help. All of these are attempts to make right what you have done, but it will still be done. Nothing can change that fact.

The best thing to do is own what you did and to try to make it right, learn from what you did and understand why you did it. This is important so you mitigate it ever happening again. For a person of 17, you are on a good path as you feel the guilt and regret of what you do.

Mistakes and failures in life are simply opportunities to learn, correct, and move forward to the next lesson. Life is full of them, and you seem ready to excel.

“We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.”

-- Steve Maraboli

Is the pursuit of goals escapism?

What in the world are you escaping by attaining goals? If anything, you’re putting yourself into the thick of life, not escaping from it.

What are some reasons for failures?

Failures are simply opportunities to learn. We learn why we fail so we can mitigate future failures. The reasons we fail are usually anchored in the choices and decisions we made. Don’t ask what happened, as it is obvious that you failed. Look at the failure and ask why it occurred. When you discover the why of it, you can work on not repeating the failure.

What is the biggest life lesson you have learned in 2021?

I didn’t so much learn a “life lesson” as have one validated: It is what it is until it isn’t, and then it is what it is again. Life takes a turn, occasionally, that’s what life does. But, in the end, regardless of what happens or what we think, it is still life and we will still soldier on as we always have. Any day we celebrate on this side of the dirt is a great day.

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”

-- Haruki Murakami

How do I stop copying other people's lives to get and start living my own?

Make the choice! Choose to live your own life and, then, decide what your own life is. Look in the mirror and own the fact that you look nothing like the people you copy. You are always going to be you, and only you can walk your path, like the people you copy, they can only walk their path, not you. Time to live your life. Make the choice! 

Why am I doing everything right but not seeing any results after 1 year?

Are you exceedingly happy in doing everything right? What results are you looking for, attaining some goal, or being truly happy in what you do? When you look back on your life at the end, will you see what you accomplished, will you see that you were truly happy in your life, or will you see that you were truly happy in doing what you accomplished, regardless of how small or great that was?

What if you failed at a business? Would you regret it?

Failure is nothing more than an opportunity to learn Who regrets learning?

"Failure is a part of learning. While the idea of failing can seem scary, it helps students develop learning skills, boost their sense of determination, and build self-esteem."

-- Oxford Learning

What are the five steps to set right your goal?

1. Acknowledge the goal is wrong.
2. Set it right.
3. Confirm the rightness is sustainable.
4. Confirm you are back on track.
5. Be happy always!
6. I’m almost positive this doesn’t take five steps. If it’s wrong, set it right. Done.

What experience changed your belief in life for the better?

Understanding that organized religion is wrong on several levels. A personal journey of faith has been much more productive for me in finding purpose and true happiness.

My wife made my life miserable for years but she totally changed now. But I already had a girlfriend, who got pregnant. They both love me and want me. I also love them both. What shall I do?

Consider that nobody “totally” changes, and you have a child on the way. Pretty cut and dry, to me. Your wife should have considered this during her years of making you miserable.  Be a good new husband and father.

“I love you. I hate you. I like you. I hate you. I love you. I think you’re stupid. I think you’re a loser. I think you’re wonderful. I want to be with you. I don’t want to be with you. I would never date you. I hate you. I love you… I think the madness started the moment we met and you shook my hand. Did you have a disease or something?”

-- Shannon L. Alder

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com