Questions of Hope and Expectation

 

Hope is like a light

that flickers all the time

Expectations are temporary

and will soon run out of shine.

-- Marinela Reka

Is it okay to have hope and expectations at all? If so, how should you feel and respond when your hopes and expectations (smaller/reasonable ones) aren't ever met?

“Hope and expectations” are not guaranteed, that’s why they are hopes or expectations. I have hopes and expectations trashed all the time. The trick is not to let it get you down. Life is a gamble - sometimes you win, but the odds are always with the house. You can tweak the odds, and win more often, by learning the game and being prepared for when your hopes and expectations are not met. Always hope for the best, but be prepared for when things go wrong. Most importantly, strive to be happy always, even in the face of adversity. Happiness just pisses off adversity.

Why do some people have a problem with people who choose to live private lives?

“Busybodies” won’t have anything to talk about if it becomes a trend.

How much information do you need to know about someone before you feel comfortable forming an opinion about them?

A handshake usually does it, but I try not to be judgmental. But, one must remember that opinions can change. Not one of us remains who we are from moment to moment, change being the only true constant in the universe.

“Others can't always define your true identity. They see what they 'want' to see but beyond your mess, God sees the beauty He created and still thinks it's good!”

-- Chinonye J. Chidolue 

Is it somewhat common for people to start wanting more solitude and to be around people less and working less as they get older, like mid 30’s and older?

It hits you as you approach retirement, and then you wonder what the hell you were thinking. After the first year, you pine for any job to keep you busy and you find yourself making work for yourself. Just look at the retirees working at Walmart or any other “big box” store for evidence. Oh, and you really love the “me time” but find the company of others is still a thirst to be quenched.

What do I do when each time I take a step forward, I get knocked back ten times?

In a previous life, you may have earned this karma by not learning the lessons you were supposed to. Maybe you were a quitter. Keep getting up, keep moving forward, and keep trying to understand what poor decisions you might be making that are driving this. Whatever you choose to do, make it a good choice and never stop getting back up and moving forward. If you do, you might find yourself back here again, and again, until you learn whatever it is you need to learn. Never give up, never surrender, and strive to be happy always in your quest for understanding.

Do you have a big fear? What is it?

Dying alone. Scares the hell out of me. I was afraid of this long before my dad died alone in a nursing home.

“If you were alone when you were born, alone when you were dying, really absolutely alone when you were dead, why "learn to be alone" in between? If you had forgotten, it would quickly come back to you. Aloneness was like riding a bike. At gunpoint. With the gun in your own hand. Aloneness was the air in your tires, the wind in your hair. You didn't have to go looking for it with open arms. With open arms, you fell off the bike: I was drinking my wine too quickly.”

-- Lorrie Moore

Is being afraid of strong wind a bad thing?

Not on the Gulf Coast. We’re actually advised to have a “bug-out” bag packed, in case we have to run.

Why does a girl continuously get mad at me and won’t tell me the reason why?

She probably feels the reason is pretty obvious. Ever think that maybe you don’t, actually, have a clue? Try asking her to tell you why. Of course, that might be admitting that you don’t have the clue, but this is all about humility, and being humble is the first step to being happy always. 

If we sin in public, what should we do?

Apologize or run, it’s too late for much else, the public has seen you. With all the cameras and video surveillance, running doesn’t accomplish much, these days, either. Better to just suffer through humility and try not to sin again.

“Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.”

-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson"

What does being healthy prove?

That you truly care about your own well-being.

What should I do my self harming has gotten quite bad like I am almost cutting every day I want to tell someone at school but promised my parents and teachers it was a one-time thing when they found out about it the first time but I never stopped?

Well, it isn’t a “one-time thing” and you now have to own it and get help. Humility is the least of your worries.  Dying might rank as number one.

What can be done to alleviate the fear of dying?

Understand that dying is just letting go of a physical form that has ceased to function. Your “soul” will continue forward to enjoy another life if you’ve learned your lessons in this life. If you haven’t, you do have reason to fear, as you will have to do this life all over again as your personal hell on earth.

“To fear death, gentlemen, is no other than to think oneself wise when one is not, to think one knows what one does not know. No one knows whether death may not be the greatest of all blessings for a man, yet men fear it as if they knew that it is the greatest of evils.”

-- Socrates

I know a person that makes everyone's day (literally) every time that you see him. What does it mean if a person makes everyone's day every day? How special is a person like this?

It means more people should follow their example. These are very special people. Even if their day is total crap, they will not complain and will continue to do for others while they work through their own drama, if they have any, to begin with. The bright point in my own life is when people ask me how I can be so damned happy all the time. I just laugh. Who would possibly want the alternative? We should all strive to be happy always and bring others with us on our journey.

Do you agree that it takes a conscious effort on one's part not to take people or friends for granted?

Only if you don’t have a deep sense of ethics and are not comfortable with who you are. Taking others for granted is not a good trait to adopt, nor is letting yourself be taken for granted. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and honesty.

What are the principles of tolerance?

I would think good communication, education, and understanding would be good principles for this. Tolerance is not acceptance, but it is definitely the first step toward that goal.

“It's a universal law-- intolerance is the first sign of an inadequate education. An ill-educated person behaves with arrogant impatience, whereas truly profound education breeds humility.”

-- Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.