Questions About Me?

 

“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

-- C.G. Jung

What did you do when you did not know what to do?

I was getting bored. I was retired in Mexico, and I was bored. I decided to write an adventure novel set in Mexico. Almost 500 pages, and a couple of months later, I was finished.

Comment:  Made any effect on your life?

My reply:  I’ve been writing ever since. I write for my own pleasure, not for publication, though I tried that just before COVID hit. Never went anywhere due to closures. I wrote a second novel for my mother. I keep trying to get to a third, but I’m so busy with being a chaplain, looking after two households, and taking care of mom, I just haven’t made the time.

What did it feel like to finally get over someone you thought you would never get over?

Nope. Still not over them. Not one of them

Why won’t you make it?

High blood pressure and cholesterol, memory loss, and strokes run in the family. Dad made it to 89 and I’m shooting for 100. The deck is stacked against me, but I’ve never been one to just throw in the towel when I really want something.

“Refuse to become a victim of your circumstances and give a lift to your potentials each and every day against the wish of any obstacle you encounter!”

-- Israelmore Ayivor

How do you discover who you are and what you want after a lifetime of people-pleasing?

If you were “people-pleasing” because it was your job, and not who you are, perhaps you should try doing it selflessly and making it who you are. If you were doing it because that’s already who you are, well, why change? Living a lie is never a good thing. If you’ve been doing what you like, find something you want that has the same satisfaction you get from pleasing people. If it’s a lie, however, you are already well on your way to discovering who you are.

How do you know me?

I don’t. I have not met you. We have not communicated. Communication, started with a question, says more about the person answering than the person posing the question. So, as of now, you know me better than I know you.

 Are you afraid of being truthful to a friend?

Only in the sense of couching the truth in such a way that they take it in the right spirit. Otherwise, no, they will hear the truth one way or another.

“The greatest obstacle in understanding the universe is the conformity and fear of truth.”

-- Debasish Mridha

How do I stop putting others' needs before my own? When I was taught how selfish I was to have any needs and that my needs don't matter.

Ever flown on an aircraft? Safety briefing: “Put your oxygen mask on before assisting the person next to you.” Why? Because you’re useless if you’re dead. Your needs matter if you’re to be of any use. You were told your needs don’t matter by those who were brought up to believe it. Now, look back and see what selfless acts they did for others and if they were happy. If they weren’t happy, how selfless was it?

How do I stop putting other's needs before my own, when all I was taught is that my needs don't matter?

Again, a follow-up from my answer to your other question, your needs matter, because if you’re dead, how useful are you? If you're sick? If you're without means? Is there an "Aha!" moment, yet? 

Why do people say, “Be careful what you wish for”, when what you wished for could be something good, not bad?

Then, you’ve been careful in your wishing. You’re messing with me, right?

"Be careful what you wish for, you'll probably get it."

-- Proverb

What is necessary to “keep moving toward the light”? Is this simple or complicated? Can you give an example?

Free will, and morality. Why in God’s good name would you consciously move toward darkness?

Should I try to get rid of greed?

It isn’t called “the root of all evil” because of its morality. Yes, you should get rid of it. Don’t try to do it, do it.

Does 'standing up' for oneself necessarily entail making enemies? Are those who have never had enemies throughout their lives usually those who never stood up for themselves or lacked any principles?

Why would one really care? If standing up for yourself makes enemies, well, it sucks being them. Never let someone’s erroneous opinion, based on their own twisted sense of right, ever make you cower from standing up for yourself. However, you must be certain that what you do is always morally ethical or they might be right about you. Making you an enemy, though, is taking it to an extreme. If I don’t agree with you, I’ll simply walk away from the drama.

If you have never changed your mind about some fundamental tenet of your belief, if you have never questioned the basics, and if you have no wish to do so, then you are likely ignorant.

Before it is too late, go out there and find someone who, in your opinion, believes, assumes, or considers certain things very strongly and very differently from you, and just have a basic honest conversation.

It will do both of you good.”

-- Vera Nazarian

If you are simple and lead a simple life, would you be less likely to get depressed or suffer from depression?

I consider myself a simple person. My retirement provides all I need to be happy always. Yes, I am less prone to be depressed because I have made a vow to keep such drama at arm’s length. We suffer these things because we make a choice to invite them into our life. To have a happier life we must get rid of all the ES, the elephant shit, we collect. If the ES is not of our choosing, then we must change our situation or get rid of whoever is foisting the ES upon us.

What confuses a person?

A lack of understanding.

What kind of person or profession is skilled at navigating the art of knowing when not to talk?

Any person or profession whose job it is to communicate. The art of communication is knowing how to listen. As an intelligence analyst, it was incumbent upon me to be able to listen carefully to what was being said and, then, to ask pointed questions about what they said. In this way, we try to ensure there is little miscommunication between us. As with people, bad intelligence is no intelligence. We tried to be smarter than that.

“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.