Questions of Desire

 

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”

-- Epicurus

How do you become "someone" out of nothing?

No one is “nothing,” and you can’t be “no one” because you are a living “someone.” Even when you die, if you are remembered, you are still someone. So, you’re already someone, and you were never “nothing.”

Now, how you become a greater “someone” is a bit more of a challenge for you. Most people who accomplish this do so by accomplishing something memorable, selflessly helping others, or being liked by many. Even those who are serial killers become more memorable, but only after they’re caught. However, I don’t recommend doing anything “immorally unethical” to accomplish something memorable. You will end up being remembered for all the wrong reasons.

Is a person morally accountable for wrongdoings even if that person does not show remorse or guilt? Why?

They are morally accountable to the people they have wronged, to society at large, and, if you believe in God, they will be held accountable in the hereafter. Whether they show, or even feel, remorse or guilt for what they have done, it does not excuse them of responsibility for the acts of wrongdoing they perpetrate on others. If there were no “comeupins” our laws to hold people accountable would be meaningless and the world would fall into a sewer of death, torture, and depravity - hell on earth.

How has living alone benefitted you?

Oh, I love my “me” time. I love having nobody underfoot, screwing with my “a place for everything and everything in its place.” I love not being accountable to anyone. There are so many benefits to living alone. The one big detriment, however, is living alone. We are social creatures and desire more than just occasional social interaction. I love talking to someone other than myself when I want to. This desire requires someone to be underfoot most of the time. It is what it is.

“You live by yourself for a stretch of time and you get to staring at different objects. Sometimes you talk to yourself. You take meals in crowded joints. You develop an intimate relationship with your used Subaru. You slowly but surely become a has-been.”

-- Haruki Murakami

How can you convince someone you are not lying?

If you aren’t, don’t worry about it. What others think about you is not as important as what your ethical behavior is evidence of. This is drama best left to fester with those who refuse to believe. Like disbelief in God, their disbelief could very well, ultimately, be their problem. State the evidence to them and move on.

What is the best way to have an actually fun weekend?

How about actually finding something fun to do, and people who are fun to do it with?

How come materials only bring temporary happiness, no matter how great they are?

Because you can’t find true happiness in material things. True happiness is a choice, a conscious decision each of us must make for our lives. If you can’t be happy without all the material crap, how can you possibly think you’ll find true happiness with it? Happiness is an emotion inside of all of us, and it is up to each of us to find it, nurture it, and live our lives celebrating it. Strive to be happy always!

“Take time daily to reflect on how much you have. It may not be all that you want but remember someone somewhere is dreaming to have what you have.”

-- Germany Kent

I was mad and said my brother was going to fail. I apologized instantly, and I'm scared that karma is going to come back and make me fail. What do I do?

If it was a heartfelt apology, karma may be satisfied. If he accepted it, and you sat and discussed why you felt you needed to say it, karma is probably more satisfied. We often have “kneejerk” reactions to what people we love are doing. It would be much better for us to think before we speak. Your concern about karma coming back to bite you should be your lesson to learn.

Under what circumstances do you think you cannot understand your partner? Why?

I’ve grown into being a pretty understanding fella after 67 years of trial and error. Most of my misunderstanding now comes from my hearing not being as good as it once was. Her hearing isn’t much better, though, so there's a lot of “What?” flying between us. Most of the time I repeat back to her what I think she said, knowing she wouldn’t say it, and she laughs and repeats what she really said, which most times isn’t even close to what I thought I heard.

How can someone live without empathy?

Focussed selfishness is a curse. I think you can live without empathy but, sooner or later, it will become a very lonely life. I’m reminded of Ebenezer Scrooge.

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”

-- Henri Nouwen

Why do some people need to live alone in order to thrive?

Less distraction from what is important to you thriving.

What makes people want a healthy spiritual life while others don't?

Salvation? The “fires of hell” do have an adverse reaction from many people looking forward to a peaceful transition into the next life.

I don't understand anything about the adult world. How is it that people just know all of this? I'm 23 years old.

I’m 67 years old, and I agree with you. If you think adults understand it, have you looked at politics lately? How about the current handling of the COVID crisis, or the U.S./Mexico border crisis? We “just don’t know all of this.” It is so beyond “intelligent” people to plan that even smart people, who actually use good sense, have problems dealing with this stuff, as well. Strive to be happy always and do the best you can. You’ll be fine in the long run.

“I am convinced that most people do not grow up...We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies, and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are innocent and shy as magnolias.”

-- Maya Angelou

How do you overcome it when someone shows you another person who is weaker than you but makes no excuses, for some reason you don't have an energy to perform like that?

Stop making excuses. They’re trying to show you to be happy with who you are, and stop excusing shortcomings over which you have little or no control. It might be that the person they show you makes no excuses but isn’t happy in life for some reason. Rise above this drama of excuses and competition. Strive to be happy always with who you are. 

What do you do when you are always being watched?

Are you doing something that would make you be watched? If not, let the watchers know you know. Make a point of waving to the cameras and smiling. If you don’t report to them, give them the occasional finger, but be sure to smile while doing it. Other than that, remove yourself from this environment, and the drama, that causes you to be watched.  It really isn't healthy.

How do you personally define success and failure?

Are you truly happy?

“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.”

-- Maya Angelou

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.