Questions of Friendship and Love

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”

-- Henri Nouwen

I caught my friend’s girlfriend doing herself in my bedroom. What should I do?

This is pretty simple, so I’ll keep it short, unlike the judgment call I just read. No one has to be judgemental here, so you can ask her if she needs help and risk a friendship or, more appropriately, politely ask her to do herself in your friend's bedroom, not yours. I’d also get a lock for the door since it is your space.

How can I stop myself from crying, thinking why is it so easy for my boyfriend to ignore me even though he is the one who says painful words and yells at me?

Have you considered finding a new boyfriend?

One of my friends told me "I swear to god you are iconic." What does that exactly mean and how could I answer it? Would it be correct if I said "well, thank you I guess"?

Well, it’s not really a negative, unless they mean you resemble a statue, and even then, thanking them would not be wrong. Then again, maybe they don’t really understand the meaning of the word.

“My only career goal is to be a Halloween icon.”

-- Nuno Roque

What's that word or term to describe people who seem to be perpetually optimistic/confident no matter what?

Perpetually positive.

If it is good to help someone, are you then good when you help someone?

Even if you’re evil, if you help selflessly someone it is a good act and you have shown a good side of yourself rarely seen.

Do you need to explain your behavior at all times?

Nope. It is what it is until it isn’t, and then it is what it is… again. If someone questions it, I’ll explain it… if I choose to, and they can accept it or not. No skin off my ass if they don’t.

“Guys always think tears are a sign of weakness. They’re a sign of FRUSTRATION. She’s only crying so she won’t cut your throat in your sleep. So make nice and be grateful.”

-- Donna Barr

How do I know if I am being loved correctly?

If you feel you’re being loved correctly. If you don’t, you should have a conversation with your partner about why you don’t. Love is different for everyone. How you feel is the tell.

What does it mean when I’m thinking about someone or talking to them and my Facebook starts feeling tingly?

Your "spider sense" is going off, or there might be a short.

Why do I feel like I have to constantly monitor my boyfriend or else I can’t trust him? He has never given me reason enough not to trust him.

It means you’re probably going to lose him, sooner or later, if you don’t lighten up. And, define what is “reason enough” for you, and let him know. 

“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”

-- Ernest Hemingway

What type of person am I dating?

If you don’t know, why are you dating them? Does “serial killer” mean anything?

Do you ever feel you're just good because you're bad at being evil?

All the time, but I still try. It’s all about balance. If you’re “just good” then stop questioning why and embrace it.

What is it called if someone is saying everything you're thinking?

Your minds are in tune with each other.

"When teenage girls were saying 'I wish I had breasts', I was thinking the same thing."

--Eddie Izzard 

How do you tell someone close to you that you don’t care?

“I really don’t care.” Ta da!

Why is time so fast even though I'm so young?

You need to wrap your mind around the fact that time really doesn’t exist. Time is a human construct that we use to give life structure. Stop paying attention to it and start living life. After all, when this life is done you’ll have the tools to live in the next. Strive to be happy! If you worry about time, you’ll never have enough of it.

Does clarity of mind mean clarity of passion?

Since it’s always good to wrap your mind around your passion, it stands to reason if your mind is clear so will be your passion.

“Those who know that they are profound strive for clarity. Those who would like to seem profound to the crowd strive for obscurity. For the crowd believes that if it cannot see to the bottom of something it must be profound. It is so timid and dislikes going into the water.”

-- Friedrich Nietzsche

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.