Questions of Character

 

“Courage. Kindness. Friendship. Character. These are the qualities that define us as human beings, and propel us, on occasion, to greatness.”

-- R.J. Palacio

Why is a forbear an ancestor, but to forbear is to hold back from doing something?

A “forebear” is an ancestor and to “forbear” is to hold back from doing. One is “fore” and the other is “for.”

Note to my readers: It is concerning that another answer for this question was a page of explanation about ancestors and forbearance, and the author never did explain the absence of the "e" in the word.  One wonders how well they read.

How do you manage someone distorting your personal character?

First, I don’t worry too much about it. Those members of the League of the Perpetually Offended attack me, on this site and others, all the time. They have no cogent thought other than to attack, and, if they can form a thought, they usually end up helping my point along. I leave them for my readers to handle, and the readers usually do a better job than I at punishment.

Second, ensure people know the real you. If you have a good sense of ethics, and hold to them constantly, people will see this and recognize you for who you really are. If some ignorant moron wants to trash you, well, good luck with that. It is more their problem than yours.  This is the kind of drama you have to sidestep in favor of being happy always and mentoring others to do the same.

Why should we keep up with the people from our past?

I always viewed it as a matter of gratitude. Without their friendship and comradery, I would not be where I am today, nor would I be the person I am today. Good or bad, it all combines to make us who we are. If you like who you are you might want to look them up and thank them.

"If the days won't allow us to see each other, memories will, and if my eyes can't see you, my heart will never forget you."

-- Unknown

Are you happy with your career? Do you feel purpose when doing your job?

I have always been exceedingly happy with my several careers. If you aren’t happy, whose fault is that? The career was your choice. If you don’t like it, then change it, but don’t whine and complain about it. Everyone has always asked me how I can be so “up” all the time, and the answer is easy. Strive to be happy always! Make good choices and decisions. Learn from those that weren’t so much, and then move forward better for the failures.

Is being afraid of not fitting in and feeling left out part of our ego?

More of a lack of ego. Don’t worry about fitting in, or being left out. Make your own party, but always strive to be humble. Ego is a tricky thing to master. 

Have the last four years taught us that we need to be kinder to one another?

In the Southern states, I think so. It would seem that, other than the little Capitol unpleasantness perpetrated by a few bad actors, the other states have been ruled by the far-left liberal fascists, the anarchists, and racists, trying to defund the police so they can destroy the rest of the country. We have not had that level of violence down here, and I think it is due to mutual respect for opinion. If you want kindness, come South. We certainly don’t have mobs accosting people while they’re peacefully eating in restaurants. We have been inundated by the rest of the country looking for security, equality, and tolerance. The housing market is booming.

I pretty certain I’ll be hearing from the League of the Perpetually Offended for this opinion. Oh well, it is what it is.

"Partisanship is our great curse. We too readily assume that everything has two sides and that it is our duty to be on one or the other"

-- James Harvey Robinson

What if we lie about something insignificant?

Your character suffers for it and, as your character defines who you are, you suffer for it, however insignificantly.

Which ones are the best ways to spend youth in life, and why?

Learn as much as you can about how to be happy always and keep drama from your life. Have respectful fun in all aspects of youth.

What do I say when someone asks how my weekend has been?

Tell them how your weekend has been. Is this a trick question?

“Today, give somebody a response instead of a reaction.”

-- Deepak Chopra

Why do parents always think they know you better than you do? I bet if I told my dad I was depressed he would deny it or act like I just shot him in the chest.

Usually, parents have already fought their way through what you think you know. Your dad may have no “point of reference,” however. Perhaps if you explained to him why you feel depressed he would be more helpful. Dads seem to have a hard time dealing with what they see as any weakness in their children. Give him a chance to mentor by asking for his advice and not just whining to him, because they, generally, like to give advice.

Have you ever gotten something you wanted so badly in life and when you finally got it, you weren't ready for it?

Yeah, marriage and children.

Why do people expect you to do something in life? What if I don't want to do anything?

So, don’t listen to them. Do nothing in life. Of course, this means you’ll end up repeating this life, time and again, until you learn that doing something is what life all about. Until then, you have the option of whatever welfare program you qualify for. This will allow you to suck from the public teat without contributing anything worthwhile to the society that supports you. How great is that?

“No society is healthy which tells its members to take no thought of the morrow because the state underwrites their future.”

-- Richard M. Weaver

I have been a bully victim and I don't want to be. Self-reflecting makes me realize my reactions and behaviors have positioned me this way. I want to stop. How can I?

Stop the “reactions and behaviors” that positioned you in this way. It is about making better choices and decisions in your life, like who you hang with, and where. For me, I made the conscious decision to let the bullies beat me up, and while they did that, I verbally decimated them about their lack of character and manhood, in front of their friends, especially their girlfriends. They finally decided I wasn’t worth being embarrassed for.

I don’t advocate this action for everyone. It was a painful decision, but I'd really had enough. I then started standing up for others. I became a psychology major and ended up in military intelligence. Funny how life, our choices and decisions, direct our path.

How was your experience with a toxic friend in childhood?

He wasn’t really much of a friend, because he was toxic. I finally tired of his verbal abuse and ended up beating him with a tree branch until a real friend pulled me off of him. I don’t recommend this course of action, however. I could have killed him. The plus was that I never saw him again.

Did you ever get a spanking, during preschool, in pajamas? Were you barefoot with no socks on? How were you spanked?

No, but this has been a fantasy of mine in adult life. You are so bad!

“My father liked me, when I wasn't being an idiot. And he loved me, too -- enough to beat the daylights out of me when I was being an idiot.”

-- Jamie Fraser

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.