Questioning Confidence, Hope, Plans, Needs, and Fate

 

“I can’t think about failure. If I do, I’ll be doomed from the start.”

-- Lisa Kleypas

Is "I am confident" a good affirmation or is it too vague, I understand it could be more specific but would this one be specific enough?

It could be total bullshit. Actions speak louder than words. If you’re confident, it’s time to step up and show us. I’ve been around a lot of, self-proclaimed, “confident” people. Usually, I find myself, or others, stepping in to bail them out. Tell me why you’re confident. Show me the evidence that you’re working off of, tell me your plan of action, then step into the fray. If you expect followers, show them what you're bringing to the table or leave the field of battle.

What part of you is stronger than your highs and lows?

My “middle ground” allows me to critique the situation and come up with good choices and decisions.

When should I take responsibility, and what are the limits of this actually are?

If you’re going to take responsibility, there are no limits. You have to own it, or you have to share it. I’ve worked for people who took responsibility for a project that went bad. This was not technically true, and I stepped up to explain the sequence of events as I saw it. He could have shouldered the entire responsibility, but others also were reprimanded for their slow or non-existent response.

It would have been better for him to own the responsibility since it was his. But, for the good of the organization, it was incumbent on him to point out the shortfalls that contributed to the outcome.

Failure and mistakes are the best way we learn, especially for organizations. You critique and you learn, you make needed changes, and you prepare for the next operation. He was put in charge the next time, and he made sure we were all ready for the mistakes made last time. We had a great outcome.

How would you define success in your career?

Being truly happy always and in everything I do. If you aren’t truly happy, what is the point?

Is it just me or do ghetto people need the most validation and acceptance from people?

Validation and acceptance won’t put food on the table or build self-respect. Validation and acceptance are something you earn, like respect. Personally, I’d flood the ghettos with multiple levels of job opportunities and on-the-job training and see who steps up to raise their bar and earn it all. But, that’s just me.

“The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.”

-- Mohadesa Najumi

Is there something you know is bad, but that you still like?

BBQ pork ribs and a dominant mistress. High blood pressure or a pant down spanking. Choices, choices…

How do I determine with certainty if my inner voice is a monologue or dialogue?

Act on it. There is no more certain way to prove something than to act on it. You will know in short order. Keep in mind that failure is not forever, it is the best way we learn. If you find you’re wrong, you’ll know which it is. Personally, not being a socialist, I prefer to have a dialogue with myself than to dictate terms and hope I’m right. As we’ve seen, lately, this doesn’t work out very well, at all.

Is it better to lose hope?

If you lose hope, you’ve lost faith. Having faith should always give you hope. It is better not to lose faith. In this way, you never have to fear ever losing hope.

If people aren't interested in something just for it because there’s got to be something more to it, what is the factor that makes it worth it?

You either know what “more” there is to it, or you dive in and hope there is “more” to it. Knowledge negates hope and can make the choice worth it. You can pick up a box on the street and hope there is more to it, other than a bomb or anthrax. Knowledge can save time, disappointment, or your life because you’re pretty certain what you’re getting into. Knowledge is worth everything.

What was the best graduation speech you have ever heard?

This be it, and it is well worth watching:  

"UTA Commencement"

What is a good process to go through to create a plan which has the lowest possible likelihood of failing?

Go through the process with someone who has been there and done that, several times, and failed the first time. Learn everything they know, including the pitfalls they experienced. Make the plan and have a few people critique it. Be prepared to answer questions. If you can’t answer questions from the top of your head, even after all this, you’ll probably fail, anyway.

Can the maturity of thinking be seen from age?

If you’re mature at an advanced age, yes. If not, you’ll never see it.

Why do people never value what they have until after losing it?

Spoiled rotten, is my best guess. Or sheltered from want by parents. They have no concept of want, need, or loss because they’ve never experienced it. Hell, they’ve probably never experienced the work it takes to achieve something, for that matter. All you have to do is experience the loss, of something you truly value, one time, and you will cherish the next one you have.

What are a valued life and valued way of being?

Selflessly giving and always humble.

What is the ethical value of consciousness? How is it measured?

It is measured by good ethical values like honesty, fairness, integrity, trustworthiness, and respect. If your consciousness is wanting in any of this, the value of it is wanting, as well.

“People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own souls. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”

-- Carl Jung

Why am I always doing my best but I don’t get what I want in the end? Is it bad luck?

Maybe you desire the wrong things? You are doing your best, which is admirable in itself. What you want might require you to bump your “best” up a notch. In other words, what you consider your “best” might not be so. Maybe you’re selling yourself short by defining what you think your “best” is.

Whatever you do in life, choose to be truly happy always and in all things. If you fail or make mistakes, this is simply life providing you an opportunity to learn. What you do with the opportunity is up to you, but continue to be truly happy, regardless. Your happiness will usually show you your path if you care to see it.

Do we need to be outstanding? Why?

Only if your ego demands it. Some of us prefer to practice humility and to be truly happy in all things. If this makes us outstanding, it is what it is.

What is the shortcut to success in the modern era?

Success in this era is the same as it has always been. It is nothing more than choosing to be truly happy always and in all things, no matter your circumstances. The shortcut, therefore, is to make a conscious choice. Because it is a choice, true happiness will be sustainable for as long as you stand by your choice. We make this success so hard on ourselves by allowing life’s drama to enter our lives without our permission. Choosing to be happy always is as easy as not allowing any drama to interfere with your choice to be happy.

What is your definition of growth?

Knowledge. When you learn, you grow.

Why should you lower your expectations?

Because you’ve admitted to yourself that you can’t be more than you are. An ignorant admission, since anything you learn, makes you more than you were. Learning, and knowledge, make the bar move up. Always expect to be more in the next moment than you were in the last.

“Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.”

-- Stephen R. Covey

Is it true that "Poverty is not the result of fate; it is the result of selfishness", says the Pope?

Poverty is the result of fate, up to the point where you are able to implement change to your fate. A child has no recourse until they can determine their own fate, their own path, in life. If “selfishness” is the lack of society to provide the poor an avenue out of poverty by providing jobs and education, then, yes, it is a result of societal selfishness. But, in the end, it is up to the poor to determine whether they make use of what is provided. We cannot save the poor from their lot. It is up to them and their desire.

What is a tough truth people need to accept after hearing?

True success in life is choosing to be truly happy, and true happiness is nothing more than making the conscious decision, the choice, to be so always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. The League of the Perpetually Offended has a “tough” time accepting this concept.

Now that Elon Musk has bought Twitter, what are his goals, and how will they be implemented?

As I understand it, freedom of opinion by firing the socialists embedded in the fabric of the company who only desire “free speech” that agrees with what they think.

Are most people not qualified to give actual good useful advice?

Most people haven’t lived long enough to experience enough to give enough “good useful advice” to folks. And, even if they have, it would seem as if some people really don’t want to hear it. Go figure.

Aside from nature vs nurture, are some people doomed to fail from the get-go? Is failure biological, environmental, social, or physiological?

No. What people accomplish, their fate, is in their own hands. How hard they work toward a given goal is up to them. Blaming failure on biological, environmental, or physiological issues is simply shifting the blame for one’s lack of ambition and perseverance. Again, the League of the Perpetually Offended will, in all probability, be offended by my statement.

Stephen Hawking is good evidence of never giving up in the face of adversity. Quoting from Wikipedia, he suffered from “amyotrophic lateral sclerosis – ALS, for short) that gradually, over the decades, paralyzed him. After the loss of his speech, he communicated through a speech-generating device initially through use of a handheld switch, and eventually by using a single cheek muscle… at the time of his death, was director of research at the Center for Theoretical Cosmology at the University of Cambridge.”

Author comment: I agree with the facts you provided.

“If we don’t stay hungry for attention and awareness, our life is doomed to remain bare and fallow.”

-- Erik Pevernagie

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com