Questioning Advice, Mothers, Life, Love, and Hope

 

“Where instinct fails, intellect must venture.”

-- Jim Butcher

Is "follow your instincts" useless advice?

You have no other information except that which you gleaned from similar situations. Relying on your instincts, based on what you’ve learned before, is so much more useful than trying to work through a situation blindly. In cases where you have nothing but what you bring to the table, instinct based on experience is never useless advice.  I think Jim Butcher's quote has it wrong, though. Where intellect fails, instinct must venture.

What did you recognize about yourself after you retired?

I really liked to work, and I had two great careers.

“Authenticity itself doesn’t guarantee success, but inauthenticity guarantees failure”, said Jamie Kern Lima. Do you agree?

“Inauthenticity” is lying. The problem with lying is, that sooner or later, the truth catches up. Trust and honesty have much to do with sustaining the goal once you attain it. “Authenticity” is honesty. People like people who are honest, so honesty tends to breed happiness. True happiness is a choice and, as a choice, it is sustainable until you choose not to be happy. Since true happiness is true success in life, you will never fear failure. Failure will be seen as another opportunity to learn. So, with this all in mind, “authenticity” can guarantee “success” in life.

What’s the major difference between a good person and a bad person? What defines good and bad? How do I know what I am?

Ethics and morality. Lying, stealing, dishonesty, greed, jealousy, hate, revenge, coveting, pride, rape, and so much more, are examples of bad. The opposite of all of this bad, is, theoretically, good. Why you do good, could make it worse, to the point of being bad. You must be selfless and humble in all things.

Is setting high expectations worth the fall if it doesn’t work out?

Definitely. Failure is simply an opportunity to learn why you were wrong. You critique what happened to find out why, solve the issue, and try, try, again.

Reader comment:  Nice answer. 

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”

-- Thomas A. Edison

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

-- Winston S. Churchill

Your mother is dumb. What are you going to do?

Love her. She is my mother.

In order for a person to judge you, do they first have to think that they are better than you?

If they’re “judging” me, they’ve already proved much about what they really are. The fact they erroneously think they are better doesn't make it so. Everyone brings something different to the table. It is all they have, and they deserve respect for bringing it. The one who has everything, but holds something back, is lesser than the one who has little and gives what they have, selflessly.

What is a lack of thinking called?

Dim-witted? Thoughtless? Inconsiderate?

Why do my parents tell me to talk about what’s hurting or stressing me out so that they help me, and when I tell them, they told me to either get over it and just don’t feel that way?

They are “unhelpful” as most parents seem to be. They don’t think. They ask you a question and then give you a flip response instead of helping. This is the reverse of someone asking a question and then ridiculing the person that dares to answer. 

Should I allow my ex-wife back?

No. There is a reason she is an “ex” wife. How many times does she have to kick you in the nads?

“Going back to your ex is like taking back your spit from the ground.”

-- M.F. Moonzajer

What do you think death really is?

The transition from this life into the next.

What can you teach us all about life?

Approaching 70 years of life, I've learned this: Work hard, stay out of debt, be ethical, love deeply the one who loves you deeply, and be truly happy always and in all things regardless of your circumstances.

Do you consider yourself to be audacious?

Definitely not. Give time, I like to think before I act.

What happens to every human when they die?

It depends on what they’ve accomplished to the "why" they were here. They can move on, come back here to try again, or, like a bad pin drive, be decommissioned. I have faith, that I won’t be decommissioned. One needs to maintain faith. It gives one hope for the future. 

If they cheated on their partner to be with you, could you ever trust them?

Oh, hell no.

"This isn’t about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars of Monopoly money. These are our lives. You went and broke our lives. You are so much worse than a cheater. You killed something. And you killed it when its back was turned."

-- David Levithan

What are the things that help you face challenges?

Understanding a challenge is simply an opportunity to learn. Knowing my limitations, my capabilities, and my penchant for perseverance doesn’t hurt, either.

I don’t want to love myself. Why should I?

Your choice. You can only trust yourself, and you are the only one who truly knows what you will do or are capable of. You are your own “wingman” in situations. But, hey, if you think you can go it alone, have at it. Oh, but wait. If you go it alone, that means putting trust in who you don’t love. Your choice, so, good luck! 

Which situation is worse, when things go south, or when things go sideways?

South. Sideways is confusing but salvageable.

No matter how great you are at something, is there always someone or some people that may believe otherwise?

There is no such thing as “perfection,” the best we can hope for is excellence. The problem with excellence is that someone is always reinventing the mousetrap. What is “excellent” today is tomorrow’s “used to be.”

How much do you know about your shadow self?

Enough that it frightens me.

“I am inclined to disagree with Jung when he says the Shadow is the person that we’d rather not be. The Shadow is that unadorned part of ourself, it is flexible the way it stretches and contorts. The Shadow is our dark side, the side we hide and climb into, not the person that we would rather not be, but the person we would rather be.”

-- Chloe Thurlow

Which is more valuable between material wealth and the smile of your loved ones?

My own smile at this question is evidence that f I said “material wealth” my loved ones would disown me. No, material wealth is so not as important as the smile of my loved ones. Money can not buy real happiness, but their smile fills that gap. 

What can hope bring?

Happiness or disappointment. 

Why has so much aggressiveness become part of our daily lives?

Because competition is so much of our daily lives. Society needs to convince employers to add meditation breaks to work schedules or have periodic classes. I think they’ll find attitudes will improve and production will go up. It will pay for itself.

What does a bully get if he drives you to commit suicide?

A possible manslaughter conviction.

Is life worth it? Will life continue to be worth it?

Worth what? Are you happy to be alive? Can you make yourself “happy” if you’re dead? Any day on this side of the dirt is a good day. What you make of it is entirely up to you. Make good choices.

“When we attempt to clear up the mess others have made, or when we love the unlovely, we demonstrate the kind of weirdness God likes. We give the lie to the evolutionary survival of the fittest maxim...”

-- Ann Benton

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com