70 Years of Sin and Redemption (Updated from the original, posted 10/24/13)

 

“The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.”

-- Paulo Coelho

******************************

"This post is dedicated to my handsome, intelligent son Todd, my darling daughter Annie, and my two beautiful grandchildren, Owen and Annabeth, to whom she is the epitome of motherhood. If I haven't made it clear enough, you are, and always have been, my life, my love, and my reason for being."  -- Dad

****************************** 

 

"So darlin'

Save the last dance for me."

-- Doc Pomus

I heard the back story, behind this old classic song, on my way home from work, the night before my birthday.  Doc Pomus had polio as a kid and it left him unable to walk.  He found the blues were an outlet that intrigued him, and he was soon singing in black nightclubs.  

When he finally married... his polio prevented him from dancing with his wife at the reception.  He told her to go dance and enjoy herself, it was her wedding.  Years later he wrote this song on the back of old wedding invitations.  He said he was just writing another song to entertain, nothing special.  Later, his wife still couldn't speak of it without breaking down.  For me, I had to pull the car over.  It is very difficult to drive while crying in contact lenses and trying to wipe tears from your eyes.  I'm just an old softy for this maudlin crap.

 

Everyone who knows me knows how emotional I can be, especially my daughter.  She would get the box of tissue before I started the tape of Disney's "The Incredible Journey" because she knew I would be a bucket of tears well before the end.  Yes, real men cry...a lot.  They can also wear pink, and make it look good, cook a fabulous meal, clean up after themselves, decorate a house, in something other than "man cave gridiron", and still be pretty good fathers... when they're given the chance.

 

Having said all that, I offer apologies upfront, to my son.  Todd, I might be gonna do it again!

 

I made it home, finally, and couldn't get the story of Doc Pomus out of my head.  The story had more meaning to me than what Doc had intended.  For me, it was about my kids, my grandkids, and everyone else in my life that I've always told I loved, or, maybe, hadn't told enough and it seemed I was never there for.  But, I was always there, at least in spirit.  I was always trying to do the right thing, not always succeeding, but trying.  I always wanted everyone to be all they could be, including my ex-wife.  I told her I didn't want her to live her life for me, I wanted her to be somebody, for herself.  OK, not the best advice, in hindsight, as she misunderstood me from halfway around the world.  We divorced in 2000, and I entered the next century unfettered.

 

My son, in his life, has done more than I could have ever hoped for, including meeting a beautiful woman who makes him very happy.  My daughter always wanted to be a mother, and she is all of that, having met a Marine any father-in-law would be proud to call son.  My significant other, Teresa, keeps silent, but I know she wants more of me than I am ever going to be ready to give.  She is patient, and I don't tell her nearly enough how much I love, care for, and appreciate her and the effort she has expended on me.

 

To all my friends that I have kept at arm's length for years, never willing to take the emotional risk, I appreciate the fact that you have seen right through me and loved me anyway.  In truth, I love you all so damned much it hurts.

 

You can only do the best you can with the cards you're dealt.  Sometimes you toss away the wrong cards, sometimes you can double up, sometimes you have to bluff, but you can never win if you aren't in the game! Today, I declare myself a winner.  Life has chewed me up and spit me back out onto a path that was, now, almost 70 years in the making.  Am I born again?  Hmmm...to quote from my favorite movie, "Oh Brother Where Art Thou":

Pete: Well I'll be a sonofabitch. Delmar's been saved.

Delmar: Well that's it, boys. I've been redeemed. The preacher's done warshed away all my sins and transgressions. It's the straight and narrow from here on out, and heaven everlasting's my reward.

Ulysses: Delmar, what are you talking about? We've got bigger fish to fry.

Delmar: The preacher says all my sins is warshed away, including that Piggly Wiggly I knocked over in Yazoo.

Ulysses: I thought you said you was innocent of those charges?

Delmar: Well... I was lyin'...  And the preacher says that that sin's been warshed away too. Neither God nor man's got nothin' on me now. C'mon in boys, the water is fine.

No, I'm not saved as much as having turned the page.  I have made the choice, after the divorce, to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of my circumstances.  I brought out my personal code of ethics, dusted them off, and am ready to stand by them for the long run.  I am not getting any younger. 

Today, my son and his almost wife live in southern California, and my daughter and her family moved to Oregon. I moved to Mississippi to help take care of mom and dad before he passed on.  

Mom, Terry, and I live still live on the beautiful Gulf Coast.  Funny, how life works out. One day I'm sitting alone in Olympia, Washington, sipping on a freshly opened bottle of 18-year-old Glenlivet, listening to Jazz on National Public Radio, and celebrating 60 years of a life I haven't wasted.  But, you know what?  I feel fine with that.  The next thing I know, I've moved to Mississippi, I'm smoking cigars, drinking bourbon, and I'm happier than a pig in shit.  I can't count all my blessings on my fingers and toes and that's a good thing!   

 

For me, the song Darlin' refers to everyone I know, everyone I have ever touched, or has ever touched me.  Darlin' are all those people in my life to whom I have said, "Go for it!" It is, also, for those few I went for it with.

 

To all of my "family" back east in Rhode Island, up in Washington state, my children, my grandchildren, my mother, my significant other, and all of my loving, caring, beautiful friends and "extended" family that may wonder if I ever think of them, know that I do and that I love you all, so very much.  If you do nothing else, I beg of you...

 

...save the last dance for me! 

"There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will have truly defeated age."

-- Sofia Loren

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com