I Love You! (Updated from the original, posted 7/29/13)

 

"Some say my love is like chalk,

That I can write it on and erase it.

Well, they're wrong.

I use Crayons."

-- F.A. Villari

"Some say my love is like chalk, that I can write it on and erase it. Well, they're wrong. I use Crayons." When I wrote this, so many years ago, little did I know how it would, constantly, have an impact on my life. Of course, the poem was meant for my "true love" and, well, we all know how that goes. The divorce not only impacted my life, it almost cost me my life. But, I have since discovered a new spirituality.  I also discovered that the poem holds true for any loving relationship you have. 

Another saying I found to hold much truth is, "I love you, I just can't be with you." I find that many people I've known have a hard time with this particular concept.  When I invest myself in someone, it's very hard not to bring those deep feelings with me when the relationship ends.  I've known those people who can leave relationships and just flip off the "love switch" as though nothing ever happened.  One has to wonder how much love was there, to begin with, if it was that easy to stop feeling, to stop loving.  I wonder what they consider using someone, or being used, would entail?

Even with my abject hatred of a particular individual, for one time in my life, deep down inside I knew I still held a true love in my heart for this person.  I know this because of how easy it was for me to finally find forgiveness, several years later, for her long history of using me and through her own admission of never loving me.  She inadvertently reminded me of who I really was.  This made it so easy for me to accept the apology from her that I knew I would never receive.

The point I'm trying to make is this:  The next time you so easily spit out those three words, "I love you," ask yourself if you can just as easily erase them.  If the answer is yes, then they are meaningless, so don't say them.  Love is something you should not be able to easily get shed of.  Love should be like getting hit with skunk spray.  It should stick, no matter how horrible the smell, and no matter how hard you try to ignore it.  The experience should stay with you, the good and the bad.  It is how we grow.  Who we love along our path, for better or worse, stays as a part of us. So, we might as well love them for their effort, or lack thereof.

Don't misunderstand, love will change.  You can finally, after much work, get rid of the skunk smell, but you will always remember it in your heart. Some things you just can't forget.  You may find you're not able to live with someone once you're together, for whatever reason, but you should always carry them in your heart, or what was the point?  If you don't still love them, on some level, I think you need to ask yourself what kind of a person that makes you.  Perhaps a person of non-existent depth? You know, shallow, like the end of the gene pool you swim in.

So, you're asking, what if you're the kind of person who equates love to snugglin' up with a stinky skunk?  Well, for you, I quote those famous lyrics from the J.Geils Band:

I've been through diamonds

I've been through minks

I've been through it all

Love stinks

And... this may be true, but, I'm also the kind of person that keeps coming back for more, so how bad can it be?  Or, are we all just eternal masochists?

Until my next post, please remember... I love you!

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com