Responding to Questions

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

-- Viktor E. Frankl (1905-1997), Holocaust survivor, neurologist, psychiatrist

Responding to questions on [this site] helped me to rationalize and cope with my own issues, how has it helped you?

I am happy always… or strive to be, at any rate. I try my darndest not to have issues I can’t facedown in short order. What it does do, however, is keep my mind open and active. It makes me think of answers to questions I know will be put to me sooner or later. I am so glad it is helping you on your journey.

What things are romanticized but shouldn't be?

DGW (Dropdead Gorgeous Women). We’re finally getting over this bit of societal bullshit. I’ve been with a couple of them. No. Hell no. They aren’t all that. I’ve had more fun with the girl next door, women with a full-figure, tomboys, glasses and freckles, you get the idea. I’m sure there are some nice DGW out there. I have never met one, yet. I stopped looking, though, in favor of personality, in the deeper and more varied end of the gene pool, hanging onto the ladder, smiling. These women were more impressed that I actually had a car, than what kind of car it was, and they could work on the engine, which I found useful. A burger on the beach was fine; lobster not so much. They’d start the fire. These women would go skinnydippin’, whereas a DGW would lock lasers and reply, “You want me to do what?” Yeah, as if they didn’t hear.  Like they'd never taken their clothes off in front of strangers before, although, the temperature did drop significantly when the lasers came out, at least for me.

If there was a true balance between "good" and "evil" or Yin and Yang does that mean they would "cancel" each other out like negative 1 plus a positive 1 meaning there really is no such thing as good and evil if there was a true balance between the two?

Do light and dark “cancel each other out” or do they strike a balance we can live with? In order to have balance, both must exist. We would not know one without the other.

“It is wonderful to contemplate how the planetary forces balance each other so perfectly that universal equilibrium is maintained despite the disturbances of the 1,500 millions which inhabit the Earth alone, not to speak of other spheres.”

-- Max Heindel (1865-1919), occultist, astrologer, mystic

In your opinion, is the phrase "money doesn't buy happiness" always true?

If you require money in order to purchase your happiness, what does this say about your mindset? Basically, you admit you cannot be happy without material goods. Yet, happiness is not tangible, it is a state of mind. You must make the conscious choice to be happy. If you fail to be happy without money, how will you ever find true happiness by spending it?

Is “money doesn’t buy happiness” always true? Perhaps not, but it certainly won’t buy true happiness. 

What makes a good decision maker?

A good decision-maker would be those who think all aspects of the issue through before making a decision, as opposed to a decision-maker who proves to be good by the high percentage of correct decisions they make, over those who think things through but still get it wrong.

Can a vision board really affect your future?

Only if they bring their vision to fruition. Politically, it might destroy a nation. Financially, it might destroy a nation. Racially, well, you get the drift. There will always be the League of the Perpetually Offended who feel they deserve more than everyone else. Anti-fascists who are fascists, anti-racists who are racists, anti-firearm advocates who arm themselves with fully automatic weapons, and defund the police advocates who just want to burn down the cities with no repercussions. Unless a vision is based on love for all, I’m not sure I part of it.

“The eye through which I see God is the same eye through which God sees me; my eye and God's eye are one eye, one seeing, one knowing, one love.”

-- Meister Eckhart (c. 1260-c. 1328), theologian, philosopher, mystic

Why does it seem life likes to ruin everyone’s life?

We make bad choices and decisions, one of which is allowing others to make those for us. For the most part, life sucks because we allow it to. The League of the Perpetually Offended won’t like this answer, but, then, life sucks. 

What is something you have been looking forward to?

At 67?  Viagra Ultra.

Should we celebrate self-interest as a guiding moral principle?

If your self-interest is ensuring you adhere to a selfless, morally ethical, code, I don’t see why you shouldn’t. In doing so, also ensure you strive to be happy always. One actually goes hand-in-hand with the other. 

“Look at the orators in our republics; as long as they are poor, both state and people can only praise their uprightness; but once they are fattened on the public funds, they conceive a hatred for justice, plan intrigues against the people and attack the democracy.”

-- Aristophanes (c. 450 bce-c. 388 bce), ancient Athenian comedy playwright, poet

Is 100 percent positive thinking not always a good thing, all the time?

It is absolutely the necessary thing, all the time! Constant happiness and positive thinking make our world bearable. Can you imagine a world without it? This is not to say you shouldn't be sad at the death of a loved one, but wallowing in the sadness is not productive.  Many people wallow in that world, not realizing that happiness and positive thinking are conscious choices they must make for themselves. Misery seems to be their daily grind. 

Loss of a job and financial issues are examples of concocting sadness over poor choices we make.  These are our choices, and sometimes we make bad ones.  So, you made a mistake.  You can keep kicking yourself over it or smile at the lesson you've been given and learn to move on with new knowledge.  

The League of the Perpetually Offended will find a reason to be offended at my comments.  It is expected.  They must have something to hold them back from happiness.  But, one must rise above the bullshit and move forward smiling, and smiling if for no other reason than we continue to live!  Striving for constant sadness and negative thinking is not as productive as striving for constant happiness and positive thinking.  I mean, well, just think about it.

What is the difference between a doer and a trier?

Master Yoda: “Do… or do not. There is no try.” A doer gets the job done while others continue to try, and to no avail. Either do it or don’t, there is no trying. Yet, this philosophy negates the reality of a “learning curve” most of us need to make "getting the job done" actually happen. I think the deeper meaning here is to not stop trying until you succeed. If you succeed, you haven't tried at all, you’ve done. It’s when you don’t keep trying that you have tried and failed.

What shape does life take on?

The “shape” of life is infinitely varied. Some are not even sure planets aren’t life unto themselves. Consider the phrase “dead planet” and why. No volcanic action to renew the “skin” of the world. No circulatory system of the life-giving water. No respiratory system of trees and oxygen. Does a world actually live? In a way, we are simply another organism this world abides at its own peril.

“We love the imperfect shapes in nature and in the works of art, look for an intentional error as a sign of the golden key and sincerity found in true mastery.”

-- Dejan Stojanovic, poet

What are you holding onto that's holding you back?

The same thing I’ve always held onto that has cost me an annual award in the military for 10 years of my career - my personal ethics. I absolutely will not violate my ethics in order to get ahead. I will not kiss ass or trade favors. I was always the runner-up for the award and finally found out from a friend assigned to headquarters that the reason I never won was that I didn’t kiss enough ass. I wasn’t “political” enough. Well, no surprise to me since I never puckered up to anyone’s butt cheek, nor was I ever accused of being “political.”

These ethics were why I was hired in the civilian sector. My next boss, for 19 years, wanted someone who wouldn’t tell him everything was good when it wasn’t, and he hated people who kissed his ass. Never, ever, sacrifice your ethics in order to get ahead in life. You might as well sell your soul.

Do we need references for everything we say?

Are you honest enough to say that you’re not certain, or it’s just your opinion when you say something? I really hope so, because I sure as hell don't have the time to fact check all the bullshiters I hang with.

“When a man is penalized for honesty he learns to lie.”

-- Criss Jami, poet, essayist, philosopher

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.