A Question of Tolerance

 

“It's a universal law-- intolerance is the first sign of an inadequate education. An ill-educated person behaves with arrogant impatience, whereas truly profound education breeds humility.”

― Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn

Do you live a life that facilitates doing the things you like to do most, or do you live a life that interferes with doing the things that you like doing the most?

Life is about choices and decisions. We choose our responsibilities and, with our choice, we accept any “interference” that is caused. This is “expected” interference and, therefore, shouldn't really have an effect on life. I have chosen to be here for my mother. I have put things on hold in order to accommodate this. She put so much on hold for the first 18 years of my life, so the least I can do is pay her back. Striving to be happy always is accepting responsibility as a positive choice you make to do something necessary. If you feel it interferes with life, well, get over it and stay happy always.

How does it feel to reach that point in life where you do everything with the highest amount of energy?

Fulfilling! And then… retirement. Not so much. 

What does “I fear being tolerated” mean? Is being tolerated something bad?

That all depends on who is tolerating you. I’m tolerated by many of my friends who probably require much more tolerating than I do. It does, after all, take one to know one. I require tolerating because I am upfront with people. I tend to not hold back, which is a fault I don’t work on much.

Being “tolerated” isn’t as bad as it is informative. It tells you much about the people around you who probably require some serious introspection. One can try not to judge, but it is trying.

The League of the Perpetually Offended has little use for me, therefore, their toleration is non-existent. Where the league is concerned, I really could give a fig. If they aren’t offended by me they’d be offended by someone else. My toleration for them doesn’t really come into play since I really don’t care about them any more than they care if someone tolerates them. 

So, again, it depends.  Better to not concern yourself with the opinions of others and to simply strive to be happy, always, despite them.

"In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher."

-- The Dalai Lama

What should I do for a balanced and successful life?

First, and foremost, learn to be happy always! If you can’t constantly find a reason for happiness, in the good times and the bad, how can you possibly call life balanced and successful? Happiness, at all times in life, is essential.

Who is a very unpleasant billionaire?

George Soros.  He uses and manipulates, people, companies, governments, and has no qualms about admitting how much fun it is.  He is an unpleasant ass who wastes the air good, decent, and morally ethical people breathe... not that I'm judging.

Is finding the right question just as important as finding the right answer?

Finding the right question is not as important as phrasing the question properly so people understand it. One can read poorly phrased questions quite often, on this site, that make you scratch your head. I actually had another reader comment to me, “I think what they meant to ask was…” and this was my whole point.  This reader also “thinks” what was meant. It wasn’t clear to either of us. Finding the right question is important, but knowing how to phrase the question will get you a much better, and clearer, answer. 

"I think some people don't even know what they're talking about, and they just start talking with an opinion, not even asking questions." 

-- Brian Fallon

In a word, what stands between you and your biggest goal?

Retirement.

How do you make life choices? Do you make them clear and consciously, or do other people influence you?

Do you let someone else invest your hard-earned money? I can squander my own money in the stock market, I don’t need help doing it. So it is with life choices. It is your life, and if you let people influence you, you might as well give them your money as well. Embrace this one fact, if you let them influence your choices, they are still your choices. You can’t blame others for what you let them con you into doing. You are responsible for your own life, and if you aren’t you’ve most likely put your life in the hands of poor custodians.

What is a good real-life example of 'careful what you wish for'?

The latest election in the United States.

Why don’t things always need to make sense? How do you deal with not knowing?

How do we truly learn if we don’t struggle for the answers? I deal with not knowing by finding out. You can’t go through life with your finger up your nose, you have to go out there and learn what needs to be learned. This is why we’re here. This is how we will, eventually, move forward in our next life and the other lives that follow.

“Sometimes a woman is afraid to be without security or without certainty, for even a short time. She has more excuses than dogs have hairs. She must just simply dive in and stand not knowing what will happen next.”

-- Clarissa Pinkola Estés 

How do you politely tell people not to dump their negative energy on to me?

But, you’re their friend. You’re there so they can dump on you, right? There is no polite way to tell them because they really don’t want to hear it. This is why they have “negative” energy. If they ask for help, this is another matter, providing they use the help given and don’t keep coming back for another dump session. Usually, though, they’ve become accustomed, comfortable, to wallowing in their pit of self-pity. Don’t let them drag you into it with them. I find it much better to find people with positive energy to hang with. People who strive to be happy always.

Why won't anyone tell me what I am doing wrong? People only tell me good things.

My last boss had this issue. Everyone told him only what they thought he wanted to hear. He was the Vice-President of a multi-million dollar corporation and really needed to know what has going on around him and when he would screw up. He hired me because he was looking for someone who wouldn’t “blow smoke up his ass.” After almost 23 years in the military where not being upfront could cost lives, this was not going to be a problem for me, and I told him as much. I worked with him for the next 19 years.

You need to let people know they are doing you no favor by always telling you good things. You need to hear honest critiques about what you’re doing and how you might be able to do better.

How can a person stop being a “dog with a bone”, and let go of what is bothering them?

Even a dog gets tired of knawing on the same old bone. There comes a time when you just have to bury it and hope you don’t remember where. If what’s bothering them is current, maybe it's time to confront it. If it’s something in the past, well, it’s in the past. Maybe try moving on to something they actually have some control over, like the present. Make good choices and decisions in the present and they will probably have a better outcome for their future. Funny how that works. If what’s bothering them is in the future, it hasn’t happened yet. This means they have some control over the outcome if they try to mitigate the issues driving it. The point is, put the bone to rest and get on with life. Strive to be happy always.

“Embrace who you are and your divine purpose. Identify the barriers in your life, and develop discipline, courage, and the strength to permanently move beyond them, and keep moving forward.”

-- Germany Kent

Are there any examples of one having to be/do evil at any point in their life?

Evil is a choice, like everything else in life. You never have to be evil, you choose to be. Evil can only enter your life if you invite it in, so don’t. Strive to be happy always. If something is driving you toward making a bad decision or choice, steer away from it. What you do defines who you are. Always be so much better than the evil that comes knocking.

What is good, and how do I do it?

Good is everything that isn’t bad. Good is right and bad is wrong. How do you do it? Don’t do anything you even think is bad or wrong. Be selfless in your actions and develop a moral code of ethics you can abide by always. Never waver from this code, as it will redefine who and why you are. It will help you mentor and be the light for others to seek out. Strive to be happy always!

Do you think you are one in a million or hundreds or way more unique? If so, what makes you like that?

We are all unique. Any “sameness” is by our own choice. Even a clone would be unique by what it experiences and how it reacts. But, at the end of the day, we are all that we choose to be, and that choice, and the freedom we exercise to make it, makes us all unique.

“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.”

-- Mandy Hale

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.