Questioning Ourselves & Such

“Self-transformation commences with a period of self-questioning. Questions lead to more questions, bewilderment leads to new discoveries, and growing personal awareness leads to transformation in how a person lives. Purposeful modification of the self only commences with revising our mind’s internal functions. Revamped internal functions eventually alter how we view our external environment.”

-- Kilroy J. Oldster, trial attorney, arbitrator, and mediator

Do people who work hard smile more or less?

It depends on if they like to work and if they like the work they do. I have had two careers, one in the military and one in the civilian sector. I loved them both and enjoyed going to work every day. I smiled a lot. I worked with people who were not so lucky. They chose to be miserable in most things they did. This is unacceptable for me. One must strive to be happy always, or what is the point in living? Make good choices and better decisions for your life, because you only have you to blame for your circumstances. Wallow in it, or rise above it.

What is the mark or standard by which you want to be remembered?

Here lies another “Semi-Ancient Piehole Philosopher.”

Does true love last?

True love is a mutual emotion between two people. If it isn’t lasting, it really isn’t true love; one of you lied. Your honesty and moral integrity with the one you love should always be beyond reproach. 

“Lasting love is something a person has to decide to experience. Lifelong monogamous devotion is just not natural—not for women even, and emphatically not for men. It requires what, for lack of a better term, we can call an act of will. . . . This isn't to say that a young man can't hope to be seized by love. . . . But whether the sheer fury of a man's feelings accurately gauges their likely endurance is another question. The ardor will surely fade, sooner or later, and the marriage will then live or die on respect, practical compatibility, simple affection, and (these days, especially) determination. With the help of these things, something worthy of the label 'love' can last until death. But it will be a different kind of love from the kind that began the marriage. Will it be a richer love, a deeper love, a more spiritual love? Opinions vary. But it's certainly a more impressive love.”

-- Robert Wright, journalist, author

What does “full responsibility” mean?

It means you’re a leader. The buck stops with you. You take full responsibility for an outcome, without trying to shift some of the blame to others if things go wonky. Others may be culpable for some or all of the failure, but if they work under you, you should have seen it coming and been better prepared. There is nothing worse, in my personal opinion than some gutless leader who throws someone under the bus to save their own career. Good leaders don’t do this, so it’s pretty obvious when one doesn’t take “full responsibility” as they should. On the other side, a good leader gives much credit where credit is due and leaves their own accolades for those who put them in charge.

What do I love most about this life?

Not being you, I have no idea. Do you wake up in the morning? The alternative sucks, so I’d be apt to assume you love just being alive. 

Why is it so easy to look at others and see the great things they do but when looking at yourself to only be able to see that you don’t measure up?

You really don’t have but three choices here. Look at others and judge them. Look in a mirror and judge yourself against others, or just be happy with who you are. We have to embrace our own path because we cannot walk the path of another. If you look at what you do and feel you should do more, then do it. Life is about choices and, if you’re judging yourself harshly, you might not be making the best choices. Choose to do more, but stop comparing yourself to others. Walk your own path and be happy on it.

“If we demand perfection from ourselves we are not living in the real world...The inherent problem in the relationship between the ideal & the real is that the ideal judges the real as unacceptable and brings down condemnation and wrath on the real. This sets up an adversarial relationship between the two and like all adversaries, they move further and further apart.”

-- Henry Cloud, self-help author

Why do you think it made it?

Because.   (Yes, this is an "incomplete" question since nobody but the author knows what "it" is. My only option was to give an incomplete answer.)

Can you only feel free if you are wealthy?

You can only feel free when you are out of debt. If you have debt you are that person‘s or company’s indentured servant until the debt is paid. If you have several debts, a car, house, credit cards, loans, you are indentured to each entity you owe. You are, for all intents and purposes, a slave to each of them. They own a piece of you. It isn’t what’s in your wallet, it’s who. Slavery never ended. You, now, simply choose to be one or not.

How far have you gone to hurt a person emotionally?

What would be the point, other than to damage yourself emotionally? Anyone who truly deserves this kind of punishment is either already being punished or will be in short order. You don’t need to risk your soul over it. I’ve only hated one person in my entire life - my ex-wife. Even she didn’t deserve what I could have done to her. I was better served to learn the lesson of making bad choices, of which she was one, and the consequences, of which she was one. I learned to forgive her and to accept the apology I knew I was never going to receive. It is so much better to let this kind of drama roll off your back and, rather, strive to be happy always. 

“Managing your emotions doesn't mean you don't express yourself; it means you stop short of hurting others and sabotaging yourself.”

-- Sue Fitzmaurice, author

What should I do to be perfect?

Nothing. No one is perfect, and if they say they are… that is your proof they are not. We can only strive for perfection, and only you can determine that definition for yourself. Better you should do more to be happy always.

What would life be like without Christmas or New Year?

Christians would celebrate Christ’s Mass instead, and the atheists would have to hijack some other holiday so they can support the economy and shower each other with useless material crap. We would have to start telling each other how we truly feel about them, as “Christmas cards” would no longer be sold. Credit cards would do no business as few people would go into debt selfishly trying to outdo each other’s gift-giving.

Since time is a human construct, not recognizing New Year would simply be a start to deconstructing the importance we put on time.

Without Christmas and New Year celebrations we would have to be more verbally and emotionally honest with each other. Any gifts would revert to being small tokens of our affection for each other. Our goodwill toward our fellows should be selfless and practiced daily, not just during a season.

Of course, I could be wrong. 

Why do the we if possibly have you ever maybe thought of us the?

Chocolate chip ice cream.

“In life; not all questions require gentle answers, some just want you to be so stupid to answer in a stupid way.”

-- Auliq Ice, venture capitalist, author

Is this life just a trial run for something better?

Yes, but it is a matter of faith. Faith is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof, like having faith in a deity. Yet, many cultures still celebrate faith in one or more deities. Many believe in an afterlife or reincarnation. Is it true? We don’t know, which is why we call on faith. Personally, I’ve always liked to pad my bets. I have faith that I’m right. If there is a chance we can move forward, bring it on, I’m ready. If there isn’t, well, I won’t really care, will I?

I prefer to believe this life is all about learning what we can so we can move forward to something better. If you prefer not to, you might end up back here until you do, or you’ll never care because you’ll never be given the opportunity to know.  I'd like to think I'm leaving the League of the Perpetually Offended back here when I go.  Is my thinking, so much bullshit? Maybe.  The League of the Perpetually Offended would certainly think so.  But, wouldn’t you like to think this is all for something than having gone through all of this for… what?  Nothing?

I am unmarried and my age is 29. Is there a Girl who would want to marry me?

There is someone out there for all of us. Even a blind squirrel will find a not sooner or later. Maybe you need to expand your horizons.  

How do I practice doing nothing?

Stop asking questions.

“If I were to do nothing, I'd be guilty of complicity.”

-- DaShanne Stokes, author, sociologist

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.