Questioning Accomplishment?

“I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”

-- Edward Everett Hale (1822-1909), author, historian, minister

Can being a perfectionist affect you negatively in daily life?

It can if you think perfection is real. It can if you consider yourself better than those who don’t seek what you seek. Everyone has their own path, and the perfectionist has chosen theirs. They need to let others do the same. We will all end up at the same destination after our individual journeys, so be happy on yours.

Do you consider yourself someone who spends too much time in the present (i.e. pleasures), someone who spends too much time dedicated toward their future (i.e. success), or a healthy (or unhealthy) mix?

I’m retired. I’ve spent enough time in all of it, the past, present, and future. What I’ve found is what has happened is of little concern, focussing on the present will take care of what comes next, and what comes next may not even occur. Better to focus on the present, the now, the moment, and being happy always

What are the healthy boundaries for a perfectionist?

Before you go looking for boundaries, understand there is no such thing as perfection. One has to be concerned, then, that setting boundaries in the search for something that does not exist would in any way be healthy, or not for that matter. Better for you to just keep being as good as you can be, stretching those boundaries, and being happy always in your chosen task.

"Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there's no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal."

-- Brené Brown, professor, lecturer, author

When is the only time you will accept an "olive branch" from someone?

When I feel they really mean it. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice shame on me; fool me three times, it’s going to get ugly. 

What if nobody spoke unless someone has something to say?

It would never happen. The League of the Perpetually Offended always has something to say, even though it usually isn’t worth listening to, and they’d surely be offended if nobody said anything. They would pitch such a fit. 

Why is just being “yourself” not the best idea?

It depends on what kind of a jerk your persona projects. Personally, I find just being myself so much easier than trying to be something I’m not. I haven’t had a problem with anyone yet, and if I did, well, sucks being them, I guess.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), essayist, philosopher, poet 

What is the purpose of setting boundaries?

So you don’t violate your personal ethics, or have your ethics violated.

Is it normal to feel embarrassed/shameful every day about past events?

It’s in the past. A little late to be feeling bad about it. What’s done is done. Better you should learn from those mistakes and how it made you feel. Start cleaning up your act and ensuring each moment reflects a morally ethical behavior you’ll have no regrets over.

What material thing do you possess and has personal meaning to you? Why do you find that particular object personally relevant or meaningful?

A medallion of Mary of Nazareth. I bought it as a gift to myself for my second retirement working 17 years for a private firm after my 22 plus years with military intelligence. I figured after almost 30 years I deserved something special for myself.

"All happiness or unhappiness solely depends upon the quality of the object to which we are attached by love." 

-- Baruch Spinoza (1632-1677), philosopher 

Usually, quality is better than quantity. But in what situations is quantity more important than quality?

I live in a country where the quality of the currency is taken for granted. What’s very important to me when I go to the bank is the quantity of that currency I have in my account.

What is the advantage of incremental decision making?

When the outcome isn’t really cut and dry, it might be best to take it one step at a time in order to be cautious and allow you to step back if things start going wrong. If you plan the steps well enough, you can step back, look at the problem, correct it, and then move forward again. This usually prevents you from shooting yourself, or someone else, in the foot so you arrive at the outcome relatively unscathed.

Are there people who really are not capable of critical thinking?

Oh, hell yes! All you have to do is look at the most recent election in the U.S. to understand it.

“There is a magnificent, beautiful, wonderful painting in front of you! It is intricate, detailed, a painstaking labor of devotion and love! The colors are like no other, they swim and leap, they trickle and embellish! And yet you choose to fixate your eyes on the small fly which has landed on it! Why do you do such a thing?”

-- C. JoyBell C., author, poet, philosopheer 

Should unethical acts be allowed if they serve the greater good such as the preservation of life on a mass scale?

This is the question we ask ourselves in the military when discussing nuclear deterrence to war. Will a limited nuclear strike where one target is eliminated in order to demonstrate our resolve, worth the limited loss of life in order to prevent an all-out nuclear war that might destroy the world? Just the threat of it has worked so far. I think we can all be glad we don’t have the evidence to answer this other than philosophically.

How do you pivot your thoughts? Have you tried it when you felt negativity?

Realizing that negativity is not constructive, helps. Thinking about how to resolve the issue is constructive thinking.

What comes first, vision or purpose?

“What is your purpose here?”

“To change Lives.”

“Ah. So, what is your vision?”

I think purpose must come first. You have to know your purpose so you can envision what is required to accomplish it.

"Money alone doesn't motivate me. Having a purpose does."

-- Unknown

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.