Questioning Regrets, Heroes, Religion, Flaws, Joy, and Fun

“One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized, and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”

-- Michael J. Fox

I don't want to be bullied. What should I do to stay cool?

I made good friends with football linemen in high school. There’s something about 250+ pounds of 6-foot, 4-inch meat and muscle that is intimidating to assholes.

Why are you gullible?

I’m a sucker for great legs, perky breasts, and a pretty face.

How can one be consistent with his/her life decisions and not have regrets later on?

Become knowledgeable and informed concerning your choices and decisions. In this way, you can make the best choices and decisions you can. Some won’t work out, but, don’t let the reason be that you slacked off on information. If something fails, learn from it and do better next time. If you learn from failure, where is the regret? Now you know more than those who haven’t failed. It is what it is, so learn and continue on your path.

What are some reasons why gangs might seek revenge?

They’re a gang, and there are rules.

What is the reason why some people treat their parents like friends, and others do not?

Communication. Bad communication causes friction, while good communication causes friendship. Parents need to learn how to parent while being great communicators. “Because I said so” is not a reason.

“I also believe that parents, if they love you, will hold you up safely, above their swirling waters, and sometimes that means you'll never know what they endured, and you may treat them unkindly, in a way you otherwise wouldn't.”

-- Mitch Albom

Why are many people carrying grumpy sad faces? Why does the world fail to be a place for joy and fun?

Well, in the United States, many voters are realizing Joe Biden was a mistake. He has done the world, with the exception of our enemies, no favors.

Is it right to make yourself unhappy just to make other people happy?

Nope. I am so not responsible for the happiness of others. I don’t go looking for them for happiness, so they should return the favor. They need to break that horse themselves. They need to strive for true happiness always and in all things, regardless of their circumstances. Or, they can continue to be pitiful, over at the shallow end of the pool.

How can one learn from others without feeling inferior to them?

Too late. They know things you don’t. If you need to stroke that ego, learn what they know, and then learn more. Or, you can simply be a humble student eager to learn.

Did you ever think to yourself that if you talked about others the way they talk about you it would blow people's minds?

I talk about people the way they talk about me. I get very few negative comments since I try not to talk negatively about people. I mean, they don’t talk negatively about me, so why would I trash-talk them? Everyone deserves respect until they don’t, and if they don't, everyone already knows about them.

Author comment: Point taken. 

What is the reason people say that being negative is a choice?

Because people could choose to be positive, but they don’t. They have chosen to be negative, which is a non-constructive choice.

“When someone tells me "no," it doesn't mean I can't do it, it simply means I can't do it with them.”

-- Karen E. Quinones Miller

When did someone's stubbornness lead to their downfall?

Adolf Hitler.

What chapter in your life do you wish could be erased forever?

My 25-year marriage to the wrong woman. The “positive” is that I’ve learned to listen to my friends. 

In what situations should you be cautious of someone's motives and intentions?

In all situations. Negative motives and intentions are damaging in all situations.

Why are stupid people considered humans when they’re monkeys that talk?

Ouch! How “Nazi” of you. “Stupid” people provide balance. Just as we wouldn’t know light without dark or good without bad, we wouldn’t know the intelligent or smart without the stupid among us. What we consider “stupid” actually has value. If you wish to “label” all the monkeys that talk, perhaps we should start with the U.S. Senate and Congress and work our way down to the voters that put a mindless octagenarian in office.

What would a suspected hero versus an unsung hero look like in society? Besides the expected hero? Any differences?

An “unsung” hero is virtually unknown to society, whereas society might suspect someone is a hero, even though the suspected hero is denying it.

Author's comment: You understand the question. Thanks, man.

“Heroes are made by the paths they choose, not the powers they are graced with.”

-- Brodi Ashton

Can religion make people better, happier, and more moral than without it?

Not necessarily. I claim no religion, though I have faith in an omnipotent force in the universe. I am humble in my life. I always strive to be better, happier, and more moral without the interference of organized religion that carries with it the hidden agenda of control. Trillions of dollars they have and, yet, the hungry are still hungry. Why is that?

How can we change ourselves for the better without being negative or a hypocrite?

Don’t be negative or a hypocrite, for one thing. Being either of them is not a change for the better. It is counterproductive to change for the better.

Why does the truth always appear generally?

How can anything be “generally” the truth? It is either the truth or it isn’t. If it’s the truth, so far as it goes, then let's wait until it gets there to decide if this “truth” is completely valid. Because, unless the truth is completely valid, it really isn’t the truth. Governments like to play this game.

How can you hide your inner self?

It is already hidden, inside of you. If you let it out, then it becomes your outer self, and everyone can see it.  If you're trying to hide it... you're too late.

How can we stop thinking that every mistake we make is our fault?

Who’s fault would you like your mistake to be? Life is all about choices and decisions. We make them, or we agree to them. Either way, we are deeply involved when we make the decision or the choice. Your life belongs to you, and everything that happens in it, after you leave your parent's tutelage, is on you. You choose, and you make the decisions because it is your life. If you relinquish the responsibility for decisions in your life. that is your decision. 

“When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.”

-- Paulo Coelho

Is the life of good people on Earth tormented?

Yes! And, it feels so good. A little pain, a little pleasure. You can’t know one without the other.

How can you find happiness in your own life without comparing yourself to others around you or society as a whole?

Happiness is something you think you can buy with money. It is happiness that lasts as long as you aren’t bored. True happiness doesn’t rely on money or comparing yourself to others or society. True happiness is a choice we should all make for our lives. True happiness is what we should strive for always and in all things, regardless of our circumstances, or any comparisons. It is happiness that is sustainable until the choice is changed, which would be counterproductive to true happiness.

Can "I love you" without actions be genuine?

No. If you love someone, all your actions must be genuine, at least honest, and above board, or you’re lying to them. Lying is so counterproductive to love. I know this through experience.

At what age do most people stop making bad decisions and start having a well-established life?

Most people, or some people? Most people don’t. Some people do, and it happens at differing stages in life, usually after retirement. Bad decisions and choices are lessons that life throws at us as opportunities to learn. Most of us keep on learning, and this is not a bad thing. We screw up, learn, and try not to repeat screwing up. A “well-established life” is when we have much fewer lessons because we make much better choices and decisions.

Why do people say "do not make my mistakes" when talking about parenting or life in general?

Dark humor. They’re pulling your leg. Life is full of mistakes, and parenting… well, really?

“You're going to make mistakes as a parent. It's literally inevitable. You're human, and mistakes are just part of being human. It's how you handle your mistakes that matters most. Acknowledge them. Apologize for them. Make them as right as possible. Learn something from them. And then let them go. It's okay. I promise. After all, how else will our little humans learn that it's okay to be human.”

-- L.R. Knost

How does it feel when someone says, “you don’t know anything”?

It feels like they really don’t know me, which means they’re assuming, which means they just made an “ass” out of themselves without including “u” or “me” in on it. Figures.

What is the meaning of the quote, "I have too many flaws to be perfect, but I have too many blessings to be ungrateful"?

We need to separate flaws defined by society from blessings defined by the individual. Just because you buy into the flaws society might label you with, it has nothing to do with the blessings you feel you have in life. Someone with too many flaws to be considered “perfect” can have many loving children to prevent them from ever being “ungrateful” for those blessings in life. 

What exactly are the reasons why the 1990s, especially the second half, were such a happy and optimistic time? Why did it go away and will that feeling ever come back? It seems like people were a lot happier and more relaxed back then.

“Republicans swept the 1994 elections and won control of both the House and Senate for the first time in 40 years.” Kind of says it all.

How can I overcome timidophobia?

Also known as pavidophobia, the fear of shyness. The only way to overcome a fear is to confront it. You have to try to be an extrovert. Put yourself out there and damn what anyone says about you. Stop being timid and start being forceful. Self-confidence is what it seems you lack, and it is usually due to the fear of what others might think. Ignore them. You don’t grow until you take risks. If you fail, you learn from it and try again, and again, and again, until you attain your goal.

What does this quote mean by Khalil Gibran, where he says, “and there are those who give and not not paying and giving know do they seek joy not give with mindfulness of virtue”?

This is too screwed up to be Gibran. What he really wrote is this, and it deals with “selflessness” when giving:

“There are those who give little of the much which they have—and they give it for recognition and their hidden desire makes their gifts unwholesome. And there are those who have little and give it all. These are the believers in life and the bounty of life, and their coffer is never empty. There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward. And there are those who give with pain, and that pain is their baptism. And there are those who give and know not pain in giving, nor do they seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue; They give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space. Through the hands of such as these, God speaks, and from behind their eyes. He smiles upon the earth.”

-- Kahlil Gibran, “On Giving”

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony: tolerantpastor@gmail.com