Questioning Rights, Values, Leaders, Fear, and Blame

 

“To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's.”

-- Fyodor Dostoevsky

What makes others believe they have the right to determine what random people do with their own sovereign lives?

They feel they are so much better, and, yet, the fact they feel they can force their belief on others belies this fact. They show themselves to be no better than any other conqueror. If their philosophy is worthy, others will flock to them. If not, then all they can do is “show and tell” and let the choice be yours, not theirs. Socialism, communism, dictatorship, and the like, simply don't work for anyone but the leaders.

What is the psychology of a bully's mind?

Knowledge, or subconscious knowledge, of their own imagined inadequacies.

Author's comment:  ARE THEY BORN EVIL?? Were they abused as kids by their parents or do they have some kinds of genes that make them violent and aggressive on weak victims that they pick? Mate, give me a LONG ANSWER PLEASE.

Because you know, I have never understood, yet, why bullies bully. What do they benefit from bullying, are they insecure, and why?

Do they have some unique personality and EVIL CHARACTERISTICS TRAITS OR WHAT?

My reply:  A longer answer won’t change the basic premise that they’re covering up for their own shortcomings which, basically, makes them angry. I have fought these guys my entire life.

I don’t think any child is truly born evil. Something happens in life that turns them, like abuse by parents, siblings, or friends. I think they bully to cover up for what they think they don’t have, were told they don’t have, or to impress others who insist they bully in order to survive... because they don't have.

I have little emotional reactions to things. Some people are full of wonderful emotions but not me. Why am I like this?

I find this to be true for me to some extent. It has to be really funny, or it’s lost on me. I’m easy to cry when the moment demands it. The innocence of children can make me smile more than adults vying for attention. I find the “wonderful emotions” of others are rarely genuine. They seem to throw emotions out there just to give a moment some bit of emotional context, whether the moment needs it or not.

But, I don’t worry about why I’m like this. I am me, and I try to be a genuine version of myself. If someone says my comment was not humorous, I respond by explaining it wasn’t supposed to be. If it was humorous they’d be laughing.

My coworkers don't want to help me but they help each other. Is this because I don't talk to them?

Could be. Being friendly cures a lot of ills. You might even try helping them when needed.

Should I completely hide my identity on social media platforms, not use social media at all, or just be myself online?

Paranoia can run deep. If you have no qualms about killing someone who comes after you, then let it all hang out. If, however, you are a bit more squeamish, you might want to temper how much you let people know about your personal life.

"Having a hidden identity forces us to be on guard at all times, attentive to what we say or do not say, that our attitudes do not disclose what we want to hide. This leads us to act superficially trying to adapt as much as possible to the others, which will cause us to experience a sense of lack of authenticity."

-- Hidden Identity: The emotional cost of hiding who you are

Does valuing happiness make people lonely, or does feeling lonely make people place a higher value on happiness?

Being truly happy is a choice we make for our life. Strive to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. You can be just as happy as a loner as you can being popular. It is simply another choice you make for your life.

I value true happiness. I mentor others to value true happiness. Whether I am lonely, or not, does not change the value I put on being truly happy. I will continue to strive for true happiness, regardless.

How much do most people value honesty in relationships?

If they value healthy and robust relationships, they value honesty above all else. 

How do I develop a friendship with myself?

You have to like yourself, just like any other friend you might choose to be around. If there are some issues that make you balk at a friendship with yourself, I’d do some serious introspection and work on changing those negative aspects that put you off of liking yourself. It might be something you do or the friends you hang with. Change happens, and you might consider undertaking some changes in your life. 

What is with so many people and their obsession with ignoring me? I swear being ignored or left in the dark is the absolute most frustrating and depressing thing. Please, will people start not ignoring me?

Have you tried confronting them about this? If they don’t know, they can’t correct it.

How do you spend your time practicing negotiation and preparing to meet greatly positive, open, friendly, tolerant, and, preferably, wealthy friends?

Be knowledgeable of the subject of the negotiation, courteous, and knowledgeable of their culture. Speak when spoken to and, if you speak, be intelligent in your thought. Being able to recall information is critical when negotiating, especially when the other side is proficient with smoke and mirrors. It is most important to listen to everything and to be more professional than you are friendly and tolerant. Professionalism is recognized by the powerful and rewarded by being invited back… if just to cover their ass.

“Money-makers are tiresome company, as they have no standard but cash value.”

-- Plato

Is it smarter to choose the people you want to lead rather than leading everybody who might be "big babies", irresponsible and stupid people? And how to do that in a seamless manner?

In the military, this might be true. “Big babies” and irresponsible or stupid people cause people to die. However, given time, a true leader will be able to train these lackluster individuals into a force worth their time to lead. How you do this is through knowledge and psychology. You learn all there is to know about training, leadership, management, and supervision. What? You thought it was easy? 

How essential is resilience?

Very, if you expect to get through life relatively happy.

If I (a 16-year-old) knocked on your door and asked you to treat me like a stray dog (for some cash), would you? If so, what would you do with me?

No. I might feed you, on the porch, but that’s it. An adult with a stray child under their roof is simply asking for legal trouble, especially if the child wants to press the issue. It doesn’t take much, unfortunately, to get into trouble for trying to help a child. Better to let authorities get involved from the onset.

I feel I don't have the strength to establish boundaries anymore. What should I do?

Let them all go. We have boundaries due to the enemy at the gates. Let the enemies in and see how long you last before you reestablish the boundaries.

What do you believe your strengths are as a speaker? 

I spent almost 23 years as a briefer and public speaker. Your speech has a beginning and an end, and everything in between must flow in an orderly fashion. Be friendly and personable. You learn to project your voice, not to stand in front of your visuals, and to always face the audience. You also learn to be concise and factual, or you explain why you aren’t. You are ready to answer questions, or you will get back to them with an answer.

But, more than anything else, you project your voice so everyone can hear you, and you remain in control. You are there to impart information, to do a job, not to be the humorous anecdote or the focus of someone’s ridicule. Practice, practice, practice, and when you have it down pat, practice again. There is nothing worse than an ineffectual speaker. 

“No audience ever complained about a presentation or speech being too short”

-- Stephen Keague

What does it mean if someone is not your type?

I’m not attracted to them, because nothing about them interests me. On the other hand, if she had great legs…

What are some tips for living a happy life without feeling like a failure?

Understand both aspects. Failure and mistakes are simply life offering up opportunities to learn. It isn’t that you fail or make mistakes, it’s what you do with them that helps you to move forward. My “tip” for a truly happy life is this: Happiness is nothing more than a simple choice we each need to make for our life. We need to strive for true happiness always and in all things, regardless of our circumstances. If we make this choice and stand by it, our happiness will be sustainable until it isn’t, and the only way it won’t be is if we change our choice.

What is the fear of being wrong called?

Careful.

Are there people among you who were kings of chaos but have become disciplined and responsible people? How did you change and achieve it?

If by “kings of chaos” you mean was I a little shit when I was growing up, then yes. I was high-active and undisciplined, to the point I almost didn’t graduate high school. Marijuana actually brought me down to “normal” for the first time. I even stated, “So, this is what normal people experience.” It gave me a chance to critique my “high-active” mind and decide what I could do to change myself, and it was a radical change. I learned to think before I engaged my pie hole. I learned to think before I did anything.

When I was drafted for Vietnam, I had a choice to continue my psychology studies, or join the Air Force. Discipline won out over academics and, after basic training, I never looked back, except to mentor mental “discipline” to those who required it. I stayed in the Intelligence field for almost 23 years.

What does it mean when someone says they are "not young anymore"?

They’re old.  Is this another trick question?

“Moving is easy, exciting, an adventure - when you're young. Later, not so much. I love Massachusetts, my old home. Sometimes, late at night, I even study the real estate ads in my old hometown. But it's not even a fantasy. My parents are both gone. The world I left doesn't exist anymore. Neither does the person I was.”

-- Susan Estrich

Is everything political or just most things?

Any more, in the United States, socialists and the League of the Perpetually Offended have made just about everything political. History is being rewritten for political reasons, teachers are being forbidden to teach basic education by socialist teacher unions, city attorneys are rewriting bail guidance for political reasons and another “paycheck” from their handlers, and it goes on and on. Even the FBI leadership isn’t immune to political graft. Socialism has infected most of the political structure of our once-great country.

What is your opinion on getting upset over constructive criticism?

I don’t, as long as it's constructive and productive. To not consider constructive criticism is counter-productive. Does it serve to not learn from another with alternate ideas that might be better than my original? It serves no one, especially not me.

Often when something is hurting me or I'm having trouble with something, I mentally blame others and don't try to improve it. What exercises or practices can help me to take responsibility instead of defaulting to blaming others for my problems?

 Don’t “mentally blame others” for your own bullshit. Grow a solid gold pair of testicles and announce the big lie to them: “YOU DID IT!” But, they didn’t do it, and you know it. More importantly for you, they also know it. So they are going to take you down a few notches, in front of everyone. The next time it happens, you’ll think about this incident and it might make you own your own bullshit.

Or… you can take a moment and think about what you already know. This “bullshit” you lie to yourself about is on you, and only you. You need to own it. And, in doing so, you will earn the respect of all those around you. Respect. Now, there’s a thought.

Why do people deceive others?

Greed. Unfortunately, it makes the world go around.

Why do people feel they want control over their fate? Is this because our society raises us in fear of the uncertain and the unknown?

Are we afraid of the “uncertain and the unknown?” For the most part, it is our uncertainty and unknown, not someone else's. We make our own mistakes and we own the destiny we make for ourselves. When we make a mistake, we are free to correct it. This is democracy in action. 

Maybe, but we’re raised to not accept others making decisions for us where our life is concerned. We want our fate to be in our hands, not in the hands of some “overlord” who may not have our best interests in mind. It is the reason our society votes for those who govern us. If we mistakenly vote in some doddering old fool, we are free to vote them out in four years, if they don’t destroy the country or sell us off to the highest bidder. But, even then, we have weapons to determine our destiny:

“What country before ever existed a century & half without a rebellion? And, what country can preserve it's liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to facts, pardon & pacify them. what signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots & tyrants.”

-- Thomas Jefferson

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com