Questioning Happiness, Honesty, Maturity, Laziness, and Respect

 

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”

-- Albert Camus

It seems like whenever I try to explain what I think happiness is, it turns into an argument involving a ton of word games. How do I avoid this?

Smile and just walk away. Happiness is a personal thing. What you think it is, isn’t what someone else might think it is. Happiness certainly isn’t an argument, except when it involves the League of the Perpetually Offended. But, then, they argue amongst themselves about whether noon is really 12:00 in the middle of the day.

How can I stop being impulsive and start sticking to logical plans instead of oscillations driven by transient whims?

Learn to take a moment to think before you act.

How would you respond to a problem that you discovered?

My response would depend on the significance of the problem. At this moment, I have no context to go by. Is it someone else’s issue? Is it a matter of life and death? Is it insignificant? Does it involve me on a personal level? I need some context to address this.

Should I bring people together?

Usually an honorable goal.

Has anyone been guilt-tripped into doing something that they didn't want to do in the first place? Something that you ordinarily wouldn't do?

In the “first place,” letting yourself be “guilt-tripped” is a sign of weakness. A strong personality would never allow this. Shit happens, and everyone needs to deal with it. If you did something wrong, own it. “My bad. Sorry about that. I’ll try to do better next time. Can I kiss your ass?” If you’re seriously waiting for a wet smooch on your tush, you’ll be waiting a while, unless you're a drop-dead gorgeous woman and my lips aren’t chapped. Guilt is due to something you did wrong, so apologize for it and move on down the road. Hell, I screw up so often I’d never get out of the dog house if I allowed people to guilt-trip me.

“If you really want change to happen, if you really want to "help" fat people, you need to understand that shaming an already-shamed population is, well, shameful.”

-- Lindy West

If people must be compelled to act for the common good, what compels the compeller to compel people to do so?

Laws, government, and, especially, a serious sense of socially moral ethics. Do good for the sake of good.

Can a person be both a hypocrite and honest at the same time, or are they mutually exclusive terms? If so, why?

You can certainly be both, but how will anyone know when to trust you if you aren’t always honest? Whereas hypocrisy and honesty are mutually exclusive, you can be both. However, being honest and also being trusted have much to do with being portrayed in a positive light, always.

How could somebody improve the understanding of other people’s intentions?

Take every psychology course you can sign up for, trial and error, or join military intelligence.

Can we start viewing people as equal instead of different things to be “diversified”? Are people like an investment portfolio to you?

People are already “diversified” by their differences. We would be equal if we were all the same, but we're not. My “investment portfolio” is diversified with many different “blue chip” stocks that are all equal and, yet, different by virtue of what the business is and does. This is a prime reason why socialism doesn’t work. There will always be diversification.

Have you ever played dumb? Why?

All the time. I’m not very good at it. Hard for me to keep a straight face. Usually, I’m trying to get out of doing something.

“Sometimes playing stupid opens your eyes to the truth.”

-- Anthony Liccione

What exactly, if anything, is wrong with realizing that you are not like another person, or simply that you are not that person?

None of us are exactly like another person, because we aren’t that person. The fact that we aren’t is exactly why it isn’t wrong to realize you aren’t. Truth is a hard topic to attack… unless you’re up against an idiot, and, even then, the truth will usually win in spite of the idiot wielding it.

What parts of life do you not understand?

The question of “why?” always has me stumped, but I’m closing in on it.

Is maturity synonymous with well-being and favorable circumstances, such that the mature person is actually "more innocent and child-like" than those who struggle because their development is interrupted by trauma and family systems?

Being mature and struggling is not, necessarily, mutually exclusive. You can be very mature and make mistakes, have trauma, or have family issues. Find me someone who doesn’t make mistakes and I’ll show you a liar. Trauma isn’t, necessarily, your fault, nor can bad family systems. Some things are simply beyond our control, but the “mature” person usually realizes this and is able to deal with it or rise above it. If they are really good at dealing with it and rising above it, they just might collect some wisdom, as well.

Does "Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are" show the similarity organization principle or proximity organization principle in psychology?

Maybe, if the quote were true. 

Why do people enjoy hurting others? Is it a way to make themselves happy?

Unfortunately, there must be balance in the universe. If there is pleasure, there must be pain, otherwise, how would you know what pleasure is? We wouldn’t know dark without light, sweet without sour, rough without smooth, etc., and so on. Cruelty is just another aspect of life we have to deal with.

“If you kick a lion when it is down, God help you when it gets up.”

-- Matshona Dhliwayo

You are chosen to become a leader in a certain activity in your school. The problem is that your members are not following your orders, instead, they are doing what they want. What actions will make them follow you?

A “certain activity” denotes a goal to be attained. Pointing out that “doing what they want” is not attaining that goal, might be an “Aha!” moment for most of them. Explaining “teamwork” might help, and having them all agree on how to proceed would be a good start. “Orders” are, actually, everyone to their ability, so dividing up the tasks to those who know how to do them will keep them out of each other’s way while they move the activity forward by doing what they are best suited to. Communication is a two-way street, with communication and feedback, listening and commenting, so the occasional status meeting will be crucial as will playing hard, occasionally. Playing together tends to build a team mentality.

Depending on the situation, can victim mentality be an excuse for laziness?

Sure. Why take any action if you think you’re only going to be victimized?

Why is it weird when someone compliments himself and it feels that they are arrogant?

You feel it’s alright for you to judge someone because you “feel” they are arrogant. Is that arrogant? I compliment myself on a job well done. I purposely try to sound arrogant, even though I know I failed at it several times before I attained the proper outcome. Sounding arrogant and being so are very different.

How can I punish myself quietly to avoid laziness? Are self-ear pulling, finger flicks, and plucking a rubber band good ways?

If you’re spending all your time “self-ear pulling, finger flicks, and plucking rubber bands” you’re wasting a lot of non-lazy energy better spent doing other things. Just saying.

Why are generous people always successful?

Generous people are usually happy, and since true happiness is true success in life, it is understandable that they would be successful. One usually begets the other. Selflessness makes people happy, and happiness is true success. Anything else is simply attaining goals. But, if you aren’t truly happy attaining the goal, how happy will you be when you attain it?

“It’s important that what thoughts you are feeding into your mind because your thoughts create your belief and experiences. You have positive thoughts and you have negative ones too. Nurture your mind with positive thoughts: kindness, empathy, compassion, peace, love, joy, humility, generosity, etc. The more you feed your mind with positive thoughts, the more you can attract great things into your life.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

What is the fastest (legal) way to earn 100k?

Legally? It takes money to make money. Fast usually means a gamble, and a gamble means you might lose your stake. The first thing you need to know is the definition of “fastest” since “legal” has already been determined.

Why do people identify as their parents nationally other than their own even if they know nothing about the country or even speak the language or even been to the country?

Genetics.

Everything bad I viewed as going to happen, happened. What do I do now?

You're on a roll. Now expect everything good is going to happen, and work to make all that happen, as well. Did you work hard to make the bad not happen, or did you just stand by and let it happen? What we do usually makes a difference in the outcome.

How do I make sure that only people who agree with me answer my questions?

Become a socialist?

How can I be nice and respectful without being fake?

Everyone deserves “nice and respectful” until they don’t. You get what you give. If you’re being respectful and not getting respect back, I’d call them down on it… loudly, and in a crowd. There is never a reason for being fake unless you work for the turd and, even then, I’d really have to think about it.

“Share your weaknesses. Share your hard moments. Share your real side. It'll either scare away every fake person in your life or it will inspire them to finally let go of that mirage called "perfection," which will open the doors to the most important relationships you'll ever be a part of.”

-- Dan Pearce

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com