Questioning Sayings, Love, and Life

 

“I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you, or if it was the second or third or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking toward me and realized that somehow the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you.”

-- Cassandra Clare

What example of "not seeing the wood for the trees" is most germane to you?

A friend came to me with a stereo cabinet design he was having issues with. He couldn’t figure out a small issue and it was driving him crazy. I explained to him how to redesign the cabinet. He loved the concept but didn’t expect me to redesign the entire thing. I explained that he was so focused on that one issue that he didn’t recognize the entire cabinet design was causing the issue. In the end, he said it was also easier to build.

Do you think people are obligated to let friends know that they don't want to be friends with them anymore?

I think the more important obligation is to explain to them why. They also might want to look at themselves and ask what kind of “friend” would think it was necessary to “unfriend” someone.

How do leaders deal with uncertainty?

Leadership is never certain. You can plan for the best, but you always have to look out for problems. Good communication helps to mitigate issues. A good leader communicates, asks for feedback, listens, restates the objective with any changes to the plans, ensures understanding, and then begins the operation always cognizant of the inevitable possibility of problems.

“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

How do you provide for your children?

By teaching them the value of your hard work that clothes them, houses, and feeds them, provides medical attention to them when they’re sick, and, hopefully, allows them the benefit of a good education.

What is counterfactual thinking in humans?

Extreme “left” or “right” political views. Not only are they counterfactual, but they are also downright counterproductive to moving forward in a truly bipartisan fashion.

How can someone have memorable experiences in a university?

Do you want to burn cities to the ground, or have constructive conversations? Do you plan on building gulags, or is freedom foremost in your mind? Are you easy to indoctrinate, or do you have a strong will? So many questions one must ask themselves before they jump into the fires of today’s centers of “higher education.”

“Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.”

-- John Green

What are the best ways to believe in yourself in life, and why?

Always do your best. If you fail, it is an opportunity to learn. Find out what went wrong, learn from it, and be prepared the next time. And, have an unwavering moral code of ethics. Do this, and you have no reason not to believe in yourself, even in failure.

How would a girl feel if her boyfriend told her she is the best girlfriend in the world?

He’s opened a door to the future. She should feel flattered… unless she doesn’t see him in the same light. If she does, though, she might think about paying him the compliment back. He might be fishing for how she feels they’re doing as a couple.

I need a girlfriend. How can I have one?

You can’t “have” one. You have to win her over with your charming personality, wit, and good manners. It takes a bit of time and if she’s worth the trouble, you won’t see it as trouble. You’ll see it for what it’s supposed to be - a labor of love. Or, you can just ask her if you can have her. I’d go with my first thought.

“If you've treated your girlfriend without respect, taken advantage of her, or cheated on her, your actions have taught her that she has no value. Needless to say, this is a serious, serious injury. If you don't try to make it right, she might start to believe the lie you've told her and spend the rest of her life thinking she deserves poor treatment.”

-- Josh Shipp

If might doesn't make right, what does?

Might only “makes right” if you’re a bully, or if you’re fighting a bully. If you’re in a fight against evil, or at any other time, then right is the only thing that makes right.

At what age typically does an individual stop proving their points and start to prefer to live invisibly?

Why would you want to live invisibly? As you get older you should be a mentor to those coming up. This will mean continually answering questions and, as follows, explaining and/or proving your points. Never live invisibly, people crave your life knowledge.

Do you believe that it is better now or never?

“It” is rarely bad, in my view. “It” is as good now as it has ever been, unless “it” is evil, of course, then I retract my comment.

“Tomorrow is promised to no one. Prioritize today accordingly.”

-- Gina Greenlee

Does the saying "right person wrong time" actually exist?

That’s just one of them. There are many to choose from for almost any situation where the right “whatever” is late. Right advice, wrong time. Right part, wrong time. Right woman, wrong time. Right man, wrong time. Right facts, wrong time, the paper’s already published with the wrong bullshit. Basically, if you’ve already jury-rigged the issue, puzzled it out yourself, or gone with what you had on hand, then getting the right stuff is a bit late.

If you knew the biggest secret to life and you made someone say “yeah right”, what would it be and how could you prove that your theory is right?

If the “biggest secret to life” was how to live forever, they’d be dead before you could show them you were right.

Why are you a part of everything that is simultaneously existing at any given moment?

Because, according to your question, I am a "part of everything." I exist, therefore, I am. “Why” is a question better posed to God, the creative genius, or the ultimate power in the universe, not a humble “part of everything.”

“There is much asked and only so much I think I can or should answer, and so, in this post I would like to give a few thoughts on what seemed to be the overwhelming question: “WHY?”

And here is the best answer I can give: Because.

Because sometimes, life is damned unfair.

Because sometimes, we lose people we love and it hurts deeply.

Because sometimes, as the writer, you have to put your characters in harm’s way and be willing to go there if it is the right thing for your book, even if it grieves you to do it.

Because sometimes there aren’t really answers to our questions except for what we discover, the meaning we assign them over time.

Because acceptance is yet another of life’s “here’s a side of hurt” lessons and it is never truly acceptance unless it has cost us something to arrive there.

Why, you ask? Because, I answer.

Inadequate yet true.”

-- Libba Bray

And... the short answers: 

How do you salvage a dying friendship?

Find out why it’s dying, then try to fix it.

What's the first step to being rich?

Get a job.

Have I made a mistake by choosing management over science in a country like Nepal if I have the ability to pursue science?

Always do what makes you the happiest.

If the purpose of setting goals is for who it makes you, why not focus on who you want to become rather than setting goals?

Bingo! We have a winner!

Between equality and equity, which should be prioritized?

Where people are concerned, neither.

What's a belief that quite a few people have that you just find impossible to get on board with?

Biden for President, still has me stumped.

Reader comment: Totally agree. Warren was clearly a better candidate.

My reply: Anyone, except Harris, would have been a better candidate.

If someone does something good for you, then are you obligated to pay that person?

There's no obligation, but you should thank them. 

Why do you sometimes regift something that you received?

It sucks.

Is the gift of love the greatest gift?

The gift of life is first, love is second.

“Every morning is a gift of life - bring some smile on your face and welcome the happiness of life.”

-- Amit Ray

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com