Questioning Ethics, Fools, and Hope

 

“The greatest fools are ofttimes more clever than the men who laugh at them.”

-- George R.R. Martin

Is it ethical to try to force people to act in certain ways?

Ethical: “Relating to moral principles or the branch of knowledge dealing with these.”

Is it moral to force people to act in certain ways? That depends. Moral principles, ethical behavior, are the basis for our rule of law so, in a way, society does force people to act in certain ways.

But, people have freedom of choice. They don’t have to be forced to do something ethical or unethical. They can simply say “no” and then live with the consequences.

Law notwithstanding, for one person to force another person to do something is, in my view, less than ethical. Why do they feel they have the right to do this? A critical look might reveal that they don’t. Why? Because it is unethical, immoral, and just wrong.

I'm doing my best for everything, but just one wrong decision that I think is right makes my father tell me, "You are a useless and stupid person." What should I do to make my every decision right?

For one thing, no loving father should ever tell their child they are a “useless and stupid” person. Everyone makes mistakes, and you’ve made one? One mistake brings this wrath down upon you? I wouldn’t worry too much about getting everything right. Failure is the best way we learn. Critique what you did, find where you went wrong, learn from it, and move forward. If you can’t figure it out, ask for help. Sometimes we can’t see the forest for all the trees, and an impartial person might be able to see what we missed. But, again, your biggest issue is someone trying to make you think you’re “useless and stupid” when you’re fine. What you really need is someone to mentor you through the mistake.

Do you believe like Mark Twain said that “It is easier to fool people than convince them they have been fooled”, and why?

After almost 23 years with military intelligence, it can be easier to fool people, than it is to convince them they’ve been fooled, especially if you’re that proficient at fooling them.

At their foundation, most people will be in denial that they were fooled. They don’t want their ego to be bruised. They don’t want to admit that they were weak-minded enough to be fooled. People like to think they are aware when most of them are so not.

People need to take a moment when they hear or see things and give their critical minds a chance to review them. Unless we have absolute trust in someone, we should always question everything, especially magic tricks.

“There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn't true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.”

-- Soren Kierkegaard

How can I find out what I love doing because it seems to be hard making decisions on how my life should be? How do I find myself?

Try everything. Volunteer time. Help people. work at a variety of jobs.

I joined the military and ended up serving for over 20 years. I saw many poor, third and fourth-world, countries. It was an eye-opener. When you live life to the fullest, sooner or later you will stumble across something that really appeals to you and, in doing so, it will help you define who you are. So, when I retired, I went to work for a company that acted as an advocate for human subjects in medical research. Many of these poor countries were interested in protecting their own vulnerable populations. I did this for 17 more years.

My point being, you have already begun this journey by asking the right questions. Now, go out and live life until you answer them.

What makes you keep moving even if you're almost losing hope?

You can “lose” hope, but hope is never really gone, you’ve simply lost it. You keep moving because hope is always with you, even if you can’t remember where you put it. Hope is a choice. Hope is something no one can ever take from you. Hope is faith, faith in something for which there is little or no proof. People have died for their hope, died for the faith, died to show that this “free will” can never be taken from them. You keep moving because the other option is to quit, and quitting is not a good option. You give up your free will and admit defeat. The evil among us loves this option. Easy prey.

Is it okay to not care about anything for a while in your life? Or will this way of thinking mess up my future?

Not caring, for a while, is a way of filling the empty bucket of emotion. We can only care so much before we, ourselves, need to be cared for. Better to take a vacation from caring, if only to give yourself a chance to think. It is easier to think clearly while relaxed than to try and think clearly in a fog of emotion.

“Research shows that we need to take a break and decompress so we can be at our best at work—and at home. Maybe we should ask if the life we’re working so hard to create is fun to live?

When’s the last time you disconnected and took a vacation?”

-- Tina Hallis

How do you stop an argument that you realize you're the one that’s wrong, but is too invested in to stop?

Oh, but I immediately see my error and admit to it. If you seriously want people to respect you, admit to and own your mistakes. This is a sign of good moral ethics and will help define who you are to others. You’ll also learn to keep your pie hole shut unless you’re sure of your opinion.

Do you have small work goals every day before you start your day?

Being retired means you have more “grunt” work to do around the house. Some are small, some are large, but all are necessary. It is my own “to do” list.

In your assessment, do you think you are aging gracefully or is there some work to be done?

Other than the “baby” hanging off the front of me, I think I’m aging pretty well. I’m almost 68, but I feel like I’m 50. I’ve started a new regimen to reduce the extra weight hanging off of me.

"I know the downside of age and the downside of time, and I am sure that the view from age 51 is not the view from age 71.

I wish the time hadn’t gone so fast, though. And sometimes I wish I’d enjoyed it more on the way, and worried about it less."

-- Neil Gaiman

Does chess make you mad?

Getting mad over a game would be immature and just silly. There are so many more important things to get mad over, should I choose to do so. No, chess is simply beyond me. I play it, but even a child gives me challenges. Those that can do. Those that can’t, teach.

Have you ever held a grudge without it affecting you negatively?

The only grudge I can remember ever holding was against my ex-wife for what she did to me. She was the only person I ever hated. I learned to let the hate go because it was having a negative effect on my happiness. For myself I had to forgive her, then I forgave myself, then I accepted the apology I knew she was never going to give me. That was 16 years ago, five years after the divorce, and I have been happy ever since.

Do you think it is a hindrance to a successful life if we don’t examine or know ourselves?

If you think you’re successful, yet have no happiness, what is the point? A “successful” life is a truly “happy” life. To be truly happy you really have to know yourself. If you don’t know yourself, how do you know your happiness is truly the real thing? Your “success” is then predicated on simply completing a goal, not necessarily being happy that you’ve done it. Better to be happy through the entire process, even in failure, since failure is the best way for us to learn. Strive to be happy always! This is true success and the best way of getting to know who and why you are.

Reader comment:  One would think that if one was to become successful it was because of a pursuit to, and one would therefore be satisfied/happy as a result. I enjoyed the whole ride on my way to success, I believe it was the main reason for.

My reply:  And, if you weren’t happy in the pursuit?

Reader response:  A sad life experience, leaving one to ask, “Why did I bother?”

My reply:  Again, if you aren’t truly happy with your success, how successful is it really?

“Be so free that nothing more than your future can distract your attention.”

-- Michael Bassey Johnson

What makes a good woman leave? Why?

Dissatisfaction in the relationship. Why? Because she’s dissatisfied with something in the relationship.  It's the same reason a good man leaves.

Can a burden ever be a good thing?

That would depend on your definition. Are we discussing “the main theme or gist of a speech, book, or argument”? Or, are we discussing a strongbox full of gold?

Why does it hurt more to know you have to let go of someone you love because you will never be loved by them? Shouldn’t "letting go" heal you, not break you harder?

I’ve never understood the emotions some people feel from “unrequited” love. I’ve loved and lost many times, but there was always a relationship. It was simply not meant to be. But, “losing” someone who doesn’t love you is, well, you never really had them to lose, did you? So where is the feeling of loss, since you never had them to lose? The emotion doesn’t make any sense when you consider you’re letting go of someone you never had.

"A good man may be the stimulus for a love both violent and debased, or a jabbering madman may bring about in the soul of someone a tender and simple idyll. Therefore, the value and quality of any love is determined solely by the lover himself.

It is for this reason that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wants to be the lover. And the curt truth is that, in a deep secret way, the state of being beloved is intolerable to many. The beloved fears and hates the lover, and with the best of reasons. For the lover is forever trying to strip bare his beloved. The lover craves any possible relation with the beloved, even if this experience can cause him only pain."

-- Carson McCullers

And... the short answers:

What was Mazarin's greatest success?

The “Peace of Westphalia.”

How is it possible to make better decisions without all the facts?

Luck.

What made you Happy instantly?

Finding out I was going to be a father.

Can someone be “beyond your wildest dreams”? Or is it just used for objects or situations?

Oh, hell no! And, she will always be.

Why does it appear that in the United States, the essential workers are the lowest paid?

Appear?

What should I know before turning 20 years old?

Stay out of debt and strive to be happy always.

How do I make myself feel better about being in the lower sets for classes?

Those that can, do. Those that can’t, try harder.

Why is it that Americans have a tendency to become overly obsessed with their chosen hobby and start looking down on anyone that wants to engage in the same hobby but is not as obsessed and devoted as they are? What is this attitude called?

Poor.

Why do people act like they don’t know who Pete Dunne is?

Who is Pete Dunne?

Have you ever forced someone to wear diapers?

My children or they’d crap all over the place.

Are all pains ethically bad?

What does “pain” have to do with ethics?

Are you content with your life right now?

Yes!

“A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them; then work which one hopes may be of some use; then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor — such is my idea of happiness.”

-- Leo Tolstoy

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com