More Questions of Values, Ethics, and Emotions

“I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”

-- Oscar Wilde

How did human civilization become so preoccupied with individual personal happiness?

They haven’t. They think they have, but the majority don’t even have a clue as to what real happiness is. What they are is preoccupied with purchasing “real” happiness, which can’t be done. Take everything away from people and see who smiles at you, laughs, and carries on with life. Those who can have found real happiness. Good luck with this.

What do you think will be the future of AI, and how far will it go?

Governments will find a reason to ignore the “Laws of Robotics” and AI will grow far and dangerously out of hand. We are, after all, our own worst enemy.

In your own words, why can cheating not be a maxim?

Who says it can’t be? “A short, pithy statement expressing a general truth or rule of conduct.” I think it can be, but, of course, you have to make it a statement: “People cheat, one way or another,” is a short and pithy statement expressing a general truth about most people. I was going to say “marriages” but, oh my God, would I catch a load of it.

“Maxim 31: Only cheaters prosper."

-- Howard Tayler

Do you believe one can find lifelong happiness? Or is happiness only an illusion and the only sensible way to live is to find joy in the moment?

If happiness is only an illusion, how do you “find joy in the moment”? If you know what true happiness is and make the conscious choice of striving to be happy always, regardless of your circumstances, you have embraced lifelong true happiness. The big problem is that so many people have no clue what true happiness is. They keep thinking they can buy it, which is simply “joy in the moment.”

Author comment:  Interesting. In Sweden, we have two different words to separate happiness and being happy. I find that happiness is a form of peace inside the mind, when you are happy with how things are, have been or will be. You can be sad and feel grief even when you are “happy”. In english we have no separation between the two and I find that to be somewhat confusing at times.

My reply:  Welcome to America. 

How can you prevent someone from getting brain cancer if you can go back in time and meet them?

You’d have to know how they contracted it and prevent them from doing whatever it was. Chances are, though, they will have cancer anyway. Knowledge of it might make them go in and scan for it which might catch it early enough to mitigate the effects. What happens will happen. Any interference will simply cause a new timeline to occur. In this timeline, however, their cancer will play out as it has.

How do humans bounce back? What is the new science of human resilience?

“Bouncing back” is nothing more than a choice we have to make in order to keep moving forward instead of having a drawn-out pity party. Victims do this, and they have reason to, but, sooner or later they will have to move on or risk wasting their life. I had no idea someone made a science out of making a choice to move on.

“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it's less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you've lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that's good.”

-- Elizabeth Edwards

Does where we are matter to who we are?

Nope. In the military you find yourself in a variety of places, some good, some not so. I had no bearing on who I was. I made the most of every place I’ve ever been.

How did a teacher you had become your favorite teacher?

Mrs. Hummel, high school English. She was everything a teacher should be, and she cared about the student and what she taught. She made the time in class enjoyable. Her class was the only class I made good grades in.

How often do we role-play when we are with friends or strangers?

I suppose you’d want to put your best foot forward, but you should be doing that every minute of your life. You are who you are, and the last thing you’d want is someone finding out you’ve been “role-playing” around them.

“I lay in bed the night before the fishing trip and thought it over, about my being deaf, about the years of not letting on I heard what was said, and I wonder if I can ever act any other way again. But I remembered one thing: it wasn't me that started acting deaf; it was people that first started acting like I was too dumb to hear or see or say anything at all.”

-- Ken Kesey

As you have gotten older, have you become more optimistic or cynical generally in life?

I used to think most people were self-centered, opinionated idiots. I still believe this, but now it’s okay with me because I’ve discovered they continue to make life fun and interesting.

When and how did you conquer jealousy? Or how are you trying to overcome it?

A few years after my messy divorce. I think honesty can conquer jealousy. If a relationship sours just be honest about it to the one you’re with. The jealousy seems to come and go quickly. Life is what it is, and honesty can prevent wasting a lot of time and emotion over what, in reality, is just making a poor choice. 

What's a short-term struggle that one should endure in order to have long-term success?

Faith. Faith is a short-term struggle and is more than just spiritual in nature. It can be a strong belief in yourself, your ability to persevere in the face of overwhelming odds. You either have it or you don’t, there is no “kind of” with faith. Discovering you can have faith makes everything else worth the struggles that you will probably win and, even if you don’t win, you can still find happiness in the opportunity to learn.

“When in doubt, throw doubt out and have a little faith....”

-- E.A. Bucchianeri

Have you ever said no to a wedding proposal? What happened?

I’d like to know when having almost nightly marathon sex was supposed to lead to marriage. That quickly put a damper on the marathon… and the relationship.

What is the right perspective on values? What should we expect values to be?

Your personal values make you who you are. It is what other people see you as. Everyone should have a good set of morally ethical values and stand by them. What good is having values if you constantly corrupt them? One must always strive to be honest, loyal, charitable, kind, respectful, happy, etc., otherwise, what is the point?

If time is meaningless, will you still cherish every moment?

Time is meaningless and I still cherish every moment.  Not to cherish every moment, good or bad, would be to simply choose death.

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”

-- Saint Teresa of Calcutta

And... the short answers:

 

How true is it that who you become makes you happy more than what you get?

I’ve always been happier becoming a better person.

What would it be like to live a life without specifically knowing anyone, no contact number, and no specific address? What are the good and the bad things about it?

There’s nothing good about boring. 

Why shouldn't people marry a person with the same education level?

They shouldn’t?

Why did my ex come back to contact me then left again, what should I do now?

Pick up where you left off and stop dwelling on it.

How do I increase the productivity of employees after reducing paycheck?

Good luck!

What are some examples where people are treated as means only?

Everybody is someone’s “means to an end.”

Do you have a mentor you go to for advice?

The late Leo Buscaglia.

How do people understand the higher meaning of life?

When you get there, let us know.

What did you learn in the 5 branches of philosophy?

There are more than 5. The “Study of Why” comes to mind.

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart”

-- Helen Keller

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com