Questioning Exhibitionism, Desires, and Goals

“Apparently, just like misery loves company, so does exhibitionism.”

-- B.J. Wane

Do you have any unfulfilled desires in your life?

Oh, my, yes! Unfortunately, my desires are a bit “exotic” and tend to run contrary to those of others. I’m of an age where I can just smile at the unrequited… and dream.

Is the joy of cooking better than the joy of eating?

Yeah, but I cheat and taste everything. Good cooks do that.

Have you known that miserable or mean people don’t want to learn anything different?

Misery and cruelty. I think these breed denial. I’ve been hurt, therefore it is my right to forever wallow in my own misery. I’m cruel because of what life has dealt me, so I have a reason to be this way. Change is the only true constant in the universe and, yet, some people fight it tooth and nail, and why? I hear from victims, families of victims, and those who prey on victims, and, even if they aren’t in denial about their desire to change, it seems they simply refuse to see a way out when the way out is almost as simple.

It wasn’t their choice to become cruel or to be a victim, it is, however, their choice to remain one. It is also their choice to find the strength to rise above it, to not be cruel to others, and not to relive being someone’s victim. The only thing personal change requires is the will to make it happen, and a bit of focus. This doesn’t mean you forget, but it takes the choice, the concerted effort, and the will, to put it behind you and move on.

“For just one second, look at your life and see how perfect it is. Stop looking for the next secret door that is going to lead you to your real life. Stop waiting. This is it: there's nothing else. It's here, and you'd better decide to enjoy it or you're going to be miserable wherever you go, for the rest of your life, forever.”

-- Lev Grossman

Is there anything wrong with spending too much time enjoying life's simple pleasures?

If you can afford it, and it's what makes you really happy, go for it!

Is it true that someone's writing that is neat and straight describes the personality of a good person?

It is what it is… until it isn’t.

What are the strengths and weaknesses in listening to others?

A strength would be the ability to actively listen. A weakness would be hearing someone speak but not really listening to what they say.

“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

How have your dating preferences changed over time?

Indeed! As I grew older I came to desire the older, “experienced,” professional woman with values similar to mine.

What would u do if someone talks you out of your goals and desires?

Friends and family have tried, but this has never happened. I’ve had supervisors and managers try it, and fail. When someone attempted it, I asked them why they felt the need to try and move me from my path? This isn’t their choice or decision to make. It is my path and only I can walk it. So, why do they feel the desire to intercede? Jealousy? Their own shortcoming that breeds the need for control? Their need to prove something to themselves?

There will always be people who think they’re all that. If you want to shut them up, prove they’re not. This I have been doing for most of my adult life.

What monologue from a movie or TV show was a deep thought?

"Luke: Master, moving stones around is one thing. This is totally different.

Yoda: No. No different. Only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned.

Luke: All right, I'll give it a try.

Yoda: No. Try not. Do… or do not. There is no try."

-- Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

What are some precious things that are hidden in your bedroom?

Not on a bet.

What should I do if I want my girlfriend to forgive me for cheating?

That ship sailed. If you loved her that much, why did you stray? Even if she comes to you and says she might be able to forgive you, but she’ll most certainly never forget, and this will always affect the relationship. Better to find a new girlfriend and learn from this error in judgment.

Author's comment:  I can’t give a valid reason for doing so. I wasn’t using my head. I regret it so much, we are somewhat still talking so I see how much I broke her. She really deserves better, I know I won’t ever do something like that again. I just hope she will be able to and want to give me another chance.

My reply:  Good luck! 

When it’s your time to go, how do you want to die? Why?

Not alone. Why? Really?

“To fear death, gentlemen, is no other than to think oneself wise when one is not, to think one knows what one does not know. No one knows whether death may not be the greatest of all blessings for a man, yet men fear it as if they knew that it is the greatest of evils.”

-- Socrates

How harmful are low aspiration and contentful states of mind?

It helps us to expect nothing from them. I think our welfare system breeds this mindset. Many of them have low aspirations and are content to suck from the public teat, contributing nothing to the public good. Most welcome socialist ideology because they think they’re already there.  They have no clue.

What do public figures miss?

The truth.

What possesses some people to remove their duds in public?

Exhibitionism! “A mental condition characterized by the compulsion to display one's genitals in public.” Personally, I think this is a great way to display your deep-seated displeasure to someone. Peeing on their leg might convey the same message.

"I was always an exhibitionist. I liked it when everyone laughed. But I didn't do plays in high school. I was too nervous."

-- Marcia Gay Harden

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com