Questioning Wishes, Control, and Thinking

“Five percent of the people think; ten percent of the people think they think; and the other eighty-five percent would rather die than think.”

-- Thomas A. Edison

Who values crunch time, and why do they value them to the point of ignoring their downsides?

As a supervisor and manager, I’ve valued “crunch-time” as a means to separate the wheat from the chaff, those that have the right attitude from those that don’t, and those that can from those who need more training, or another career. Every time I would announce we’ve entered “crunch-time” more and more smiles would appear around the room, and you could actually feel the combined focus sharpen.

What will I wish of if a girl asks me to make a wish?

“I wish for constant happiness, and you going out with me would help this wish along, sinificantly. Just saying.”

How would you explain the phrase "we are all wonderfully made"?

If we weren’t “wonderfully made” we would not have been to the moon, composed music, explored the oceans, created great art, and puzzled great philosophy. We have ears to actively listen, and eyes to imagine what our minds will conceive and our hands will create. If we aren’t “wonderfully made” we would never be better than we are, and we certainly can be.

“Unlinked by a pacemaker, the cells beat irregularly, spasmodically, each tapping out a rhythm approximate to the 350 beats a minute normal to a chick. But as the observer watches, over a period of hours an astonishing phenomenon occurs. Instead of five independent heart cells contracting at their own pace, first two, then three, and then all the cells pulse in unison. There are no longer five beats, but one. How is this sense of rhythm communicated in the saline, and why?”

-- Paul W. Brand, Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Is control even a thing?

It is a noun and a verb, therefore it can be a thing as well as an action. This is my “control” group, but I will have “control” over what the other group does.

Jeeze, I hope I got this right.

Did your young talents help you get a job when you were older?

What I learned in school got me a great job in the military, and what I learned in the military got me a great job when I got out. When I finally retired, everything I learned I brought to bear in the chaplaincy.

Does writing improve your thinking?

Yes! And a great benefit is that my thinking, then, improves my writing! It is a “win-win” relationship.

"Writing is thinking. To write well is to think clearly. That’s why it’s so hard."

-- David McCullough

Did you ever get punished far more severely than necessary for something? Why?

Yep, and for something I didn’t even do. My dad felt about that small when he saw the truth. He told me to throw an ice cream wrapper on the lawn in the trash. I had thrown it away, to begin with, and didn’t know how it got on the lawn. He came back and told me to do it again. I said I did. he yelled and pointed. Same place. And, again, he came. Same place. He watched as I put it in the trash in the garage trashcan, and then we both watched as the dog went into the garage and took it back out to the lawn. Same place. Dad was a bit sheepish.

What is the origin of the saying "here and back again to see how far it is"?

It is the title of a book by Tim Watson.

Is there a difference between what is considered an elderly person and what’s considered a senior citizen?

“The terms senior citizen and elderly are outrageously similar and are used interchangeably with one another. Usually, retirees are classified as senior citizens in general terminology. Whereas, elderly denotes a person who’s nearing his life expectancy age or is above it.” 

--Difference between Senior Citizen and Elderly

Should we think differently about success?

Yes. We perceive “success” as having attained a goal when all you’ve really done is attain a goal. But, are you truly happy? If you aren’t truly happy with your life then what good is reaching a goal? Can you be ecstatically happy without ever attaining a goal? Of course.

So who is more successful, the person who works their entire life attaining goal after goal, or the man with an eight-to-five job, holding his newborn baby girl? Well, who is smiling more? You can attain a mountain of goals and never find happiness, or you can “be happy always” to begin with, and then think about a goal.

Ask a man who holds his newborn and ask if he is successful. Given a moment to think, he will smile and say “Yes!” He may not be successful in society’s terms, but he is very successful in terms that a loving parent, or those who are happy always, could understand. Success is how you define it. Just be always happy on your journey getting there, or… what’s the point?

Why do most people prefer to believe in luck, innate talent, and destiny rather than self-improvement and mindset building?

Since most people are basically lazy, this is much less work. Unfortunately, it also reflects.

What is your biggest writing hurdle?

Starting. Once I start it’s hard for me to stop until I’m finished. I’ve been trying to start my third novel, but I keep coming up with reasons not to.

“The biggest hurdle to writing Fargo Rock City was that I couldn’t afford a home computer – I had to get a new job so I could buy a computer. It could all change though. In five years, I could be back at some daily newspaper, which wouldn’t be so bad.”

-- Chuck Klosterman

Is there anything more to life than working and paying bills?

Being born, learning, more learning, Exercising, socializing, falling in love, raising a family, vacationing, making memories, dying, and being reborn. Questions?

Can a god of atheism be believed in?

By atheists?

Is silence an act of weakness?

Sometimes it takes more strength to be silent than to vent. For me, however, silence is not an option when those who cannot protect themselves are threatened. It is one reason I usually choose to speak out against abortion.

“Words can be twisted into any shape. Promises can be made to lull the heart and seduce the soul. In the final analysis, words mean nothing. They are labels we give things in an effort to wrap our puny little brains around their underlying natures when ninety-nine percent of the time the totality of the reality is an entirely different beast. The wisest man is the silent one. Examine his actions. Judge him by them.”

-- Karen Marie Moning

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com

 

Questioning the Selfish, the Using, and the Opinion

What is the difference between who you are and who you want to be?

Playboy of the western world, or a 67-year-old grandpa. Decisions, decisions. Being a playboy was overrated and rife with STDs, so I guess being an oversexed granda will have to suffice. “I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam.” — Popeye the sailorman

Why do you rightly think that people are good?

If people were all good there wouldn’t be a need for locks, police, courts, jails, prisons, or hell. I do rightly think all people have freedom of choice, and some choose better than others. You can go up, down, or stay where you are, depending on the choices you make.

Why is it important to give yourself time to develop an opinion?

Otherwise, you risk opening your pie hole and letting so much gibberish flow out. We witness enough of this in Congress.

“Truth is what you see. Opinions are what you hear. Facts are what you know. Reality is what you experience.”

-- Matshona Dhliwayo

Am I really a narcissist if I only find myself attractive and I don't find anyone else attractive? So many people hate themselves and are so insecure that it's a shock to most to hear some people love themselves.

I love myself and I’m not a narcissist. I love most women I meet, so I don’t just love me. Oh, wait. I lust for most of the women I meet, but I’d love them if I could. No, that’s not right, either. I’d be in love with them if I could. Okay, I don’t hate myself and I’m not a narcissist.

If you had everything you needed to live, is there a job you would do for free? Why?

Being a person of spiritual faith that doesn’t buy into “organized” religion, with their hidden agendas, I would open a center for quiet personal spiritual exploration. I’ve always loved quiet gardens and benches under shade trees where one might go to meditate and consider their life, their meaning, and why they're here. A center where all peaceful faiths and spirituality are welcomed to partake and programs are presented, all through donations from those who enjoy the setting. Other than this, I would probably volunteer, as this is a selfless way to give back for all I have been blessed in this life.

Do you agree with the statement, “Never ascribe to malice that which can be explained by ignorance”? What benefit (if any) could there be from embracing this idea?

Considering it was meant as a joke, I think the benefit of embracing this idea would be found in not attributing to malice that which can adequately be explained by stupidity. You just can’t cure stupid, so trying to shift the blame onto malice would be pretty obvious.  The quote, however, is "Hanlon's Razor" and reads, thus:

"Hanlon's razor is a saying that reads: 'Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.'

In simpler words: some bad things happen not because of people having bad intentions, but because they did not think it through properly.

The quotation is attributed to Robert J. Hanlon of Scranton, Pennsylvania, US. According to his friend Joseph Bigler, Hanlon first used it as part of something he wrote for a compilation of various jokes related to Murphy's law. The compilation book was published in 1980 titled Murphy's Law Book Two, More Reasons Why Things Go Wrong. The name was inspired by Occam's razor.” 

--Hanlon's razor - Simple English Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Who said, "It is difficult, but not impossible, to conduct strictly honest business"? What do you think was the point they were making?

Mahatma Gandhi. People might be willing, if necessary, to excuse dishonest business dealings as a way to get around any difficulties. However, honesty is the best policy.

Do you agree with the following quote, "There's no luck in business. There's only drive, determination, and more drive"? Who said it?

Author, Sophie Kinsella. My aunt built a multi-million dollar corporation by adhering to this philosophy. She never relied on luck. She did her own due diligence and had no problem asking other knowledgeable folks for their opinions.

Who said, "Always back the horse named self-interest, son. It'll be the only one trying"? What point was being made?

Australian, Jack Lang. He was a Labor Premier, so his point was pretty obvious that, in labor, the person with self-interest will be the only person truly trying to get the job done. Having said this, however, if you’re at the race track, don’t be an idiot and put your money on a horse named “Self-Interest,” not until you've done your due diligence on the horse and jockey. The point being made, at the track, is that you’re either very lucky or, in fact, the idiot.

“International big business has made revolutions before now to safeguard its interests. At one time it made them … in the name of Liberty, Equality and Fraternity. Now, with Socialism to fight, it makes them in the name of Law and Order and Sound Finance. Assassination? If an assassination is going to be good for business, then there will be an assassination.”

-- Eric Ambler

What are some innocent-sounding phrases that are actually profoundly problematic?

Any of Murphy’s Laws:

Murphy's general laws (Please check out the entire Murphy's laws) 

• Nothing is as easy as it looks.
• Everything takes longer than you think.
• Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
• If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Corollary: If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.
• If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
• If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
• Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
• Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
• Mother nature is a bitch.
• It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
• Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
• The Light at the end of the tunnel is only the light of an oncoming train.

Do you have an internal code of ethics/morality/set of values? If so, what are they and how did they become as they are?

I have ten: Morality, loyalty, honesty, confidentiality, charity, selflessness, tolerance, understanding, patience, and good communication. My father tried to instill in me most of these, but the military hammered them all home. Your personal “code of ethics” defines who you are, and if one were to look further it also, more importantly, defines why you are. I strive to live up to mine as best I can, but no one is perfect. I fall occasionally and have to regroup before I continue on my journey.

Would you tell me the reason behind [what|why|how] you're better than others?

I am so not better than others. No one is really any better than anyone else. We are, however, very different in what we know, our values, beliefs, and the like. If you were very intelligent, or wealthy, and seriously injured, would you refuse selfless help from, what many consider, the “least” of us? Of course, you wouldn’t. Why? Because, at that moment, they demonstrate their extreme value which, in your present condition, makes them a bit better, since they can do that which you cannot in order to possibly save your life.

Huxley: "What about Homer, ever read Homer?"

Bryce: "Of course I've read Homer."

Huxley: "In the original Greek?"

Bryce: "No"

Huxley: "Then chat with Pfc. Hodgkiss. Loves to read the ancient Greek."

Bryce: "Would you kindly get to the point?"

Huxley: "The point is this, Bryce. What makes you think you are so goddam superior? Who gave you the bright idea that you had a corner on the world's knowledge? There are privates in this battalion who can piss more brains down a slit trench then you'll ever have. You're the most pretentious, egotistical individual I've ever encountered. Your superiority complex reeks. I've seen the way you treat men, like a big strutting peacock. Why, you've had them do everything but wipe your ass.”

― Leon Uris, Battle Cry

What philosophical question have you asked in the past or asking right now?

“Why?”

What are the hopes and dreams of the ultra-wealthy?

Probably to have “hopes and dreams” to work toward. I can’t imagine true happiness without having hopes and dreams, a goal, for someone, if not for myself. For the “ultra-wealthy” what they consider “hopes and dreams” can, in all probability, be instantly satisfied. If not “instantly” then, maybe, “instantly” would be their hope or dream.

How do you think a guest would be in your home for a year?

Unwelcomed. I’m still working on patience.

“Disappointment is an unwanted—but invited—guest.”

-- Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questioning Strategy, Theism, and Success

“The description of this proportion as Golden or Divine is fitting perhaps because it is seen by many to open the door to a deeper understanding of beauty and spirituality in life. That’s an incredible role for one number to play, but then again this one number has played an incredible role in human history and the universe at large.”

-- H.E. Huntley

Do you believe in strategies?

Almost 23 years with military intelligence, of course, I believe in strategy as the impetus for planning. In the words of Miyamoto Musashi, concerning strategy:

“…what is essential is to overcome one’s adversary no matter what, on whatever field, whether it be in single combat or against multiple opponents…”

-- The Five Rings

How does this apply in all circumstances of life? To quote Musashi, again:

“There are, though, probably some people in the world who think that even if they learn the Way of Strategy, when the real time comes, it will be of no use. With regard to this opinion: To train so that it will be useful at any time, and to teach so that it will be useful in all things - this is the true Way of Strategy.” 

-- The Five Rings

Does atheism increase with prosperity? Does prosperity allow atheism to flourish?

If a deist is prosperous, do they attribute their prosperity to their faith in their god, or to atheism? I’d be willing to be they would attribute their good fortune to their god, and their faith would, then, flourish. If you put your faith in anything, you are likely to attribute any good fortune to your faith in whatever you believe. If this is true, then all faith would flourish as long there was evidence of prosperity.  But, we need to be mindful that faith is simply a belief in something for which there is little or no proof.

If you are a believer, then you die, get to the other side and there is no Heaven, nothing, what is your reaction?

Like most of those who believe this way, I would, also, have no reaction because there is nothing. I’m am dead, and wrong in my faith in theism. However, if I get to the other side and there is something, I will reap the reward for having a faith in a higher power and another existence beyond this. For those who hold to their belief that there is no God, there will probably be no God. For those who hold to their belief in nothing, there will probably be the “nothing” they expected, though they won’t be cognizant of it… because they’re dead. Or, they will go back into their previous life to try again, because this is what God does. But, more’s the pity.

“Atheism turns out to be too simple. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning...”

-- C.S. Lewis

What does it mean to be 'successful'?

To be happy in life, regardless of your circumstances. If you aren't happy, how can you say you’re successful?

What do you regret wasting money on when you were younger?

I had no idea of the value of money, or what it would mean to me when I got older and looked forward to retirement. After my divorce, I got financially healthy again in just five years. I was in my late 40s at the time. Imagine how much I could have invested in the 25 years leading up to it? Of course, she, my ex, would have easily taken half of it in the divorce without a thank you, but I’m sure I would have received the usual “go to hell” for my efforts.

What's the key to happiness besides positive thinking and forgiveness?

Happiness is a choice, regardless of anything else. It is a choice you make, especially in the face of adversity, to simply strive to be happy always.

“If you’re unhappy or depressed, it might be because you're hanging around the wrong people. Surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you, not the stress or worst in you.”

-- Jeanette Coron

Why do nasty people get mad when someone’s nice and happy?

Because they aren’t, and they can’t understand how anybody can be. It simply rubs them the wrong way. These people are usually perpetually nasty, angry, and, especially, perpetually offended at someone’s happiness.

I have rubbed everyone the wrong way for as long as I can remember, due to my seemingly perpetual happiness. I smile most of the time and usually hum, sing, or whistle. I’m always asked how I can be so damned happy? My answer had to do with the fact that the alternative simply sucks for me. I was only truly miserable once in my life, during my messy divorce. I didn’t enjoy the emotional rollercoaster.

So, when it was all over, I promised to never get angry with anyone, to take life as it comes and work through it, to understand that problems are simply lessons we need to learn, and that failure was the best way for us to learn. I strive to be happy always, and it makes many people scratch their heads. Maybe they’re wondering what I know that they don’t? Well, I just made a list.

What does “to draw the longbow” mean?

You’re going to have to make the hard decision. Longbows are harder to string due to length, and harder to draw the string back due to tension. So, in my view, saying you’ll have to draw the longbow simply means you’ll have to do the hard whatever it is.

What does this idiomatic phrase mean, “A broken clock is right twice a day.”?

“Even a blind squirrel finds a nut sooner or later.” Nobody can be that wrong all the time Even as off as a broken clock can be, or if the hands don’t move at all, the clock is going to be right, twice a day, as time catches up to it in the morning and at night, unless the clock delineates the time shown as AM or PM, then it will only be right once a day. Basically, nobody can be wrong all the time.

“Straw met camel's back. Breaking commenced.”

-- Jennifer Lynn Barnes

How can doing the opposite of what seems logical empower great decisions?

If your “great decision” is to run like hell from the consequence of the illogical decision you made, then yes. Doing the opposite of what seems logical can have dire consequences. Thinking “out of the box” is fine as long as it remains thinking out of the box. This kind of thinking doesn’t work so well in bomb factories, nuclear power plants, LNG processing, high-rise steelworking, and the like. The “great decisions” in these jobs are to follow the user’s manuals and all safety protocols. Thinking is reserved for a significantly higher echelon.

What is the difference between smart work and hard work? Which one do you follow, and why?

“Smart” work makes “hard” work a little easier. I always try to work smart. Why “hump” bricks from Point A to Point B by hand, risking damage to your back, when you can use a wheelbarrow?

Why do I desire good for those who desire bad for me?

Many philosophies tout this idea:

"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you…"

-- Matthew 5:44

"Give evil nothing to oppose and it will disappear by itself. "

-- Lao Tzu

“It is easy to love your friend, but sometimes the hardest lesson to learn is to love your enemy.”

-- Sun Tzu

What photos are you willing to share right now in hopes of making someone's day?

I’m almost 68 years old. Does “making someone’s day” include not being able to “unsee” things?

If I notice that you are overlooking a correction that could be made to better your life, should I discuss it privately with you, or publicly with others?

I’d do that in private, that way when the person told me their life was fine, and to mind my own effing business, I won’t be too embarrassed. You have to be pretty sure they want to hear what you have to say before insinuating yourself into their life.

How do individual, organizational, and opportunity factors interact to influence ethical or unethical decisions?

All those factors should influence any decision, including the “unethical” ones, based on financial health, who make up management and ownership, and what opportunities they see immediately or on the horizon. When the decision becomes “unethical” is when you really need to pay attention to what you’re thinking of doing. The ethical decision of a company drives investors to invest, just as the unethical decisions will drive them away. The factors that influence individuals or organizations is not as important as the actions they take based on those factors. Dance with the devil and pay the consequences, or do what’s right and smell the roses. Gardening takes a bit more effort.

“I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies, for the hardest victory is over self.”

-- Aristotle

And... the short answers:


Why are some, convinced they need another?

Another what?

Why are you or not in a hurry today?

Hurricane Ida forcing us to stay out of the 60 mph wind.

How can a warrior become a pacifist?

“Hacksaw Ridge” was about an army pacifist medic of faith.

What happened when you finally celebrated who you are?

I woke up to the realization that I should strive to be happy always!

What will I do to get money and a girlfriend?

Get a job.

How do I get rid of my guilt knowing I shouldn't have it?

If you have it, there’s probably a reason. 

What is something you have learned that everyone should know too?

I will keep repeating it: Stay out of debt!

“Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six , result happiness.

Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery”

-- Charles Dickens

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questioning Relationships, Choices, and Actions

 

“Was I bitter? Absolutely. Hurt? You bet your sweet ass I was hurt. Who doesn't feel a part of their heartbreak at rejection? You ask yourself every question you can think of, what, why, how come, and then your sadness turns to anger. That's my favorite part. It drives me, feeds me, and makes one hell of a story.”

-- Jennifer Salaiz

I never faced insecurities or rejection. Does it make sense to say that "you never miss the shots you don't take" if you haven't hit on anyone?

So, you never face insecurities or rejection because you’ve never hit on anyone and faced rejection? If this is true, I’d say the adage makes sense. I’ve taken shots most of my life and missed more than I hit. Such is life.

I broke up with my boyfriend & I regret it. I was impulsive & emotional. I also called him names & broke his laptop. I thought he was being funny towards me, but it was a misunderstanding. what should I do?

My first blush is that you are so screwed. Try explaining it all to him, and buy him another laptop, which you should do anyway. Let it be your lesson not to be impulsive and emotional. Taking a moment to talk it out and understand really can pay dividends when it comes to relationships.

What is the meaning of the quotes from Jesse Jackson "leadership cannot just go along to get along, leadership must meet the moral challenge of the day"?

A leader in name only is not a true leader. A true leader must question and, if necessary, challenge the “status quo.” A leader must be willing to put their leadership on the line when something is found to be wrong. They must be willing to take a stand and speak their mind. If they don’t, then why do they hold the title of “leader” in the first place? Businesses, fortunes, and armies fail because their “leaders” never tell those above them what is really going on. Instead, they tell them what they think they want to hear.

"A good leader leads the people from above them. A great leader leads the people from within them."

--M.D. Arnold

What are some of the principles you practice in your life that can improve mine?

Smile always, especially in the face of adversity. Take a deep breath before you anger, and let the trouble, and the anger, go out with the breath. Smile some more. Remove drama from your life; bad relationships, debt, a job you don’t like, etc., and constantly strive to be happy always. Keep on smiling. The alternative to all of this simply sucks.

When did you do something, but immediately realized what was wrong with it?

We were helping to paint the local cigar bad in town, and I was going to rinse out a brush so I could paint the trim a different color. I didn’t realize the brush was used for oil-based enamel until I smelled the paint just as I grabbed the bristles to scrub them. I closed my eyes and silently cursed. I could feel the oil-based paint all over my hands. What was worse, we’d run out of the thinner used to clean my hands off. What a mess.

Am I wrong for being unlucky?

No, but you might be wrong for relying on luck. Life is more about making the right choices, more than it is relying on good luck. You can count the big winners at a casino on one hand, and those who break even on two. Relying on luck is a bit overrated. They call it gambling for a reason. Better to rely on good decisions and choices, you will win much more often.

“People who believe they have bad luck create bad luck. Those who believe they are very fortunate, that the world is a generous place filled with trustworthy people, live in exactly that kind of world.”

-- Chris Prentiss

Is it right not to continue doing good deeds because you think it may be perceived as negative?

I’m not sure how doing good deeds can be perceived as negative, unless it is a problem with the perception. I suppose I’d fall back on not caring what other people think about the good deeds I’m doing unless the people I’m trying to help are the ones perceiving it as bad. If this is the case, I’d have to take a critical look at what I’m doing and seriously listen to what they have to say. I might be violating a cultural standard, in which case it would, indeed, be right to not continue.

Do you dislike anybody refusing to learn?

Refusing to learn is their choice. I can respect it even though I don’t understand it. I don’t dislike them for their choice, but they’ll have to respect my choice not to be around them. Anybody that refuses to learn is, ultimately, a danger to themselves and, most likely, those around them. These are the people who light a match around an opened gas line. Rest in pieces.

Are there situations where no matter what action you take, there will never be a real solution? I'm talking in the context of Afghanistan but if you have other situations, please do share. Thank you.

Afghanistan is a perfect example, a bad marriage would be another. There comes a point when staying is as bad as leaving. What do you do? If you can find a reason, staying the course might be best for the children, the people, but both parties, the leaders, parents, need to be in agreement.

In Afghanistan, staying the course would definitely be better for the people. The friction isn’t from the relationship, it is from outside. Would we let someone destroy a good marriage? No. We would fight to save it. We would fight to save the children who can’t fight to save themselves. We should hold this “marriage” up to the others as an example of what we can accomplish. Or, we can cut and run.

Who chooses to marry a coward who would “cut and run” when things get tough?

“I smile and start to count on my fingers: One, people are good. Two, every conflict can be removed. Three, every situation, no matter how complex it initially looks, is exceedingly simple. Four, every situation can be substantially improved; even the sky is not the limit. Five, every person can reach a full life. Six, there is always a win-win solution. Shall I continue to count?”

-- Eliyahu M. Goldratt

Am I a loser because I’m 40 and ended up working at a call center and couldn't build a professional career path? I even can't look at my kid's eyes.

You are only a "loser" if you choose to feel like one. Are you a loser if you choose to be on welfare, as opposed to working? Are you a loser if you choose to be homeless, as opposed to working? Are you a loser if you choose to have no self-respect, not take pride in what you do, and are ungrateful for any opportunity to support your family, as opposed to working… at any job?

We are what we choose to be, and what we choose to be is driven by why we choose to be, and our "why" is evident to those around us. You’re 40 and work in a call center. It takes a special person to work in a call center. You take a lot of crap from people you call, but you do it anyway. Ask yourself, “Why?” You must have reasons for why you do it. Those reasons reflect who you are. Those reasons are, most likely, your reasons for pride. Your children should know this, and you should tell them.

My “life partner” is almost 68 years old. After working 17 years as a board secretary, she retired. But she missed working, so, last year she applied to Walmart. From board secretary to Walmart “quick check.” How the mighty have fallen? No. She loves the work and the people she works with.

How you feel about what you do is a choice. Look into your children’s eyes and explain this to them. Explain that you choose to work, and why. Explain to them that, no matter what they do in life, do the best they can, be the best they can, and strive to be happy always. The only one they have to answer to, for what they do, is themselves. And, don’t forget to tell them that, no matter what they choose to do in life, you will always be as proud of them as they are of themselves, but you will love them deeply always. Their pride in themselves is their choice.

While you strive to be happy in life, never stop striving to be more than you are. When you stop doing this, you truly begin to stagnate on your path. Keep moving forward, and you will be fine.

Reader comment:  We are all products of our respective environments, commonly established in childhood, and validated throughout the rest of our lives. If we are losers then we can, and SHOULD, hold our environments responsible for, our inept teachers, never ourselves. I suspect you are a winner, a self-made one, you became without the aid of anybody? I suspect a healthy environment primarily had something to do with. Unlike you, I find it hard to define what a loser is, the closest I can come to is someone who has deliberately created a habit of being sad, for me that would be the pits of an existence.

My reply:  “Someone who has deliberately created a habit of being sad.” So they “deliberately” made a choice, regardless of what environment drove them to make that choice.

You’re wrong about me though. My father didn’t do much for me, but he did instill in me that what and why I am is a choice.  It is a choice I have to make, and if I choose to let the world dictate what and why I am, I have to own my choice. I am a “self-made” man, because of the "aid" of my father’s sage advice. A winner? No one ever handed me anything. I had to work for it. I failed, learned, and failed again until I got it right.

The “pits of an existence” came when I fell to my knees and considered suicide, having lost everything I'd built over 25 years, including my children, to a woman who finally admitted she had never loved me. No one was going to stop me from ending it all.  No one... but me, and that was my “Aha!” moment. This was not a solution, and it would solve nothing.  It would only doom me to an endless cycle of being a loser, until I learned to make a better choice. I had to make a better choice, and I did.  So can you.

Have you tried to tell anybody that you’re okay with anybody’s own choices, opinions, and/or beliefs?

Constantly, even the League of the Perpetually Offended. It is not my place to tell people they are wrong, especially the League. I can give them another opinion, but that is usually met with colorful epithets one can’t repeat in polite company. I never have to disagree with them or say they’re wrong. By the time they're done railing on me, they’ve usually, unwittingly, agreed with my point. All anybody can do is offer up their own opinion. It doesn’t mean either side is right, it is simply another opinion. People don’t have to agree, but the only point made with colorful epithets is a person’s inability to exercise cogent thought.

What are the best quotes on the internet for the following scenario? When a person is looking for something that doesn't exist, the quote must advise him to create it. For example, if it is a path/method that is not there, he/she should create it.

“Be inspired by others' ways, but don't follow others' ways; create your own way, follow your own way!”

-- Mehmet Murat ildan

“I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

-- Robert Frost

“Follow yourself, the rest will come behind you."

-- P.S. Jagadeesh Kumar

And... the short answers:

How would you describe your day in 15 words or less?

Laidback, until the Kabul bombing and the death of American Marines.

What is the difference between complaining and worrying?

You can worry without making a sound.

We are all in the wrong sometimes, somehow, on something, aren't we?

No one is so perfect not to be.

When and how can we forget Covid-19?

Never. If we forget history we are truly doomed to repeat it.

I gave something important to me to my significant other, not expecting to miss it but now I do. can I ask for it back?

No. Think harder before you jump, next time.

Why do I feel like money is the friend that never leaves?

Do you “squeak when you walk” or do you actually spend any of it?

Why would my friend say “I don’t owe you shit”?

Nice friend. But, then, why do you think he owes you?

What is the line between being courageous and being crazy?

Very, very, fine.

“There's a fine line between brave and insane. I haven't decided which one I am yet.”

-- Kira Saito

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questions to Invest, Prosper, Achieve, or Succeed

 

“It is not about what you lose when it is over. Far more, it is about what you gain during the journey!”

-- Cass van Krah

Why does Apollo Global Management, Inc. (APO) have a PE under 7 despite a 30% growth over the past 5 years and a 25% growth estimate for the next 5 years?

Where were they putting their growth? They just became profitable this year, so what about the last four? Their debt is not being well covered and they’ve been underperforming markets. Their long-term price volatility is high and they are way overpriced, $58 compared to a fair value of $14. I pulled all this from one site I used to do my own due diligence. Personally, with what I read, I wouldn’t touch it. But, this is just me.  What do I know?

Author comment: I have. I found and decided not to trust your cited source.

My reply: It is one of many. I never use just one. But, when it comes to my money, I never forget that it is my money, and I would rather lose it myself than put it in the hands of some brokerage firm. Trust yourself.

I want to be disciplined and talented but I can’t catch up to all the more talented people I see online and I feel I’m missing out or I’ll lose myself if I can’t succeed ASAP.

Stop comparing yourself to others. Each to their own abilities. Learn well at your own pace. If you work hard on your discipline, you will be more apt to judge well your talent. But, it is always good to remember to be humble. Those that can, do. Those that can’t, teach. God bless the teachers! We would be nothing without them.

How hard should an influencer work as hard to look pretty?

If she is a great influence, how she looks will, even subconsciously, influence others to consider how they might look. Why would you want to be an influence looking like a slob?

I have always dressed for the occasion, business, or pleasure. Out on the town for a “live performance” required a suit. It didn’t matter that others weren’t, it did matter that I was. At intermission, another well-dressed gentleman and I stepped outside for a cigar and tumbler of scotch. The men in shorts and jeans paid us no mind, but the ladies that had dress better than the husbands, well, the guys would get an earful at home.

My point is, it matters. Even for a glance, it can have an influence.

“We never know which lives we influence, or when, or why.”

-- Stephen King

As a student, do you consider the study of ethics important? Why or why not?

As a student, you should learn it. As a human, you should embrace a sense of good moral ethics as the foundation for who you will be for the rest of your existence. You will find this easier to do if you’ve learned about it early on.

Why do I feel like everything I achieve is merely luck?

If it is, and only you can answer this, the real question you should be asking is, “When will my luck run out?”

Have you faced difficulties with decision-making in the past and how did you solve this problem?

There is an old adage that states, “Your first thought is usually the best.” I have found this to be mostly true when it comes to the concept of “fight or flight.” But, when faced with more important decisions, another adage comes to mind, "Your first thought is what society has conditioned you to think, the second thought defines who you are."

My early decision-making difficulties were cropping up in the third and fourth thoughts. I was a victim of multiple choices with no thought to the ultimate consequences. The “right” choice might be disastrous.

So, I combined the first two thoughts into, “Your first thought is usually the best, but due diligence will pay off in the end.” You have to consider the consequences of your choices. If your second thought “defines who you are” then let that thought be to consider the consequences of the first thought. As a matter of fact, let that thought consider the consequences of every thought, and you will probably find your choices will almost always be righteous.

“If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another.

The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience.

If this sounds too mystical, refer again to the body. Every significant vital sign- body temperature, heart rate, oxygen consumption, hormone level, brain activity, and so on- alters the moment you decide to do anything… decisions are signals telling your body, mind, and environment to move in a certain direction.”

-- Deepak Chopra

Why can bad be good?

If someone truly enjoys being treated badly, a “submissive” for instance, then, for them, it is good.

Would you tell me every unpopular opinion that you have?

Oh, no. I never invite the League of the Perpetually Offended to hammer me. Nope. Not gonna do it.  I try not to intentionally step in shit.  I do it enough by accident.

What would be the main cause of the lack of material prosperity in the lives of most people in the world?

A lack of the wealth necessary to surround yourself with “material prosperity,” or an understanding that “material prosperity” isn’t all that. It doesn’t bring true happiness, so what’s the point? Keep up with the Jones’s? I don’t think so. Ask yourself, why does a Christian pastor need 5 private jets? Hmmm… Greed? Nice trait for a “pastor.”

“Never surrender your hopes and dreams to the fateful limitations others have placed on their own lives. The vision of your true destiny does not reside within the blinkered outlook of the naysayers and the doom prophets. Judge not by their words, but accept advice based on the evidence of actual results. Do not be surprised should you find a complete absence of anything mystical or miraculous in the manifested reality of those who are so eager to advise you. Friends and family who suffer the lack of abundance, joy, love, fulfillment, and prosperity in their own lives really have no business imposing their self-limiting beliefs on your reality experience.”

-- Anthon St. Maarten

What is your own philosophy of the self by incorporating your goals, desires, and interests?

My goals, desires, and interests are who I am, along with my spirituality, my sense of ethics, and what I experience, what I do, smell, taste, hear, and touch, what I say, and how I act. These, and more, contribute to my philosophy of self.

Is someone who does something good by definition a good person?

By definition, a good person is someone who is good to other people. Are they a “good person” all the time? That remains to be seen.

How is the way of connection among the past, the present, and the future?

The past is what we learn from to make good choices in the present so we don’t repeat mistakes of the past. The future is what we hope for with the good choices we make. The present is this moment and the choice we make. Pray, we make a good one.

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”

-- Bill Keane

And... The short answers:

 

Why is working with your hands so satisfying?

Hands, as a whole, were made for work, the digits for other things.

What is human thinking in your opinion?

Less than optimal.

Which is best to say before giving someone advice, 'look' or 'listen'?

“Would you like some advice?” Neither of these is good. 

What is the psychology behind the desire to purchase a simple non-descript, cotton t-shirt for 60 bucks versus buying an identical-looking shirt for $4.99?

More money than good cents?

What makes sense to you that doesn't to others?

The concept of time.

How would you differentiate between plans and goals?

A plan is what you make to attain your goal.

Obviously, where does anyone really never want to go?

My ex-wife’s house. Just saying.

How can you avoid overestimating your own intelligence?

Hard to overestimate my humility. 

Why do some people believe "If I can do it, it must not be that difficult"?

They have little confidence  in their abilities. 

What makes scientists and smart people not believe in God?

Faith.

“Sometimes beautiful things come into our lives out of nowhere. We can't always understand them, but we have to trust in them. I know you want to question everything, but sometimes it pays to just have a little faith.”

-- Lauren Kate

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com