Questioning Mothers, Evil, Girlfriends, Faithful, and Dumb

 

“The phlegamtic female is a weepy, bug-eyed, fat, lumpy, fleshy German. She looks like a sack of flour. She is born in order to become a mother-in-law. That is her whole ambition.”

-- Anton Chekhov

How do I tell my husband I don’t want to be around his mother anymore?

Not meaning to be a smartass, but… “I don’t want to be around your mother anymore and this is why…” I have no filter, so being “upfront” is who I am. You have your reasons, so state them. He probably won’t like your reasons, but he isn’t you. You should have had this discussion before the wedding.

Is it possible for a bad person to keep receiving good karma? I’m very curious about this. Why?

No. They are damned to receive bad karma for their bad deeds. It is what it is. They may enjoy their entire life, and then there is karma - hell for an eternity.

I have been blamed for stealing and lying. What should I do?

Stop stealing and lying. If you haven’t, the accusers must kneel before you and apologize.

How do I establish world peace, global humanity, and happiness?

You can’t. There will always be the naysayers that dare you to try, and those who prefer to be miserable. It is a good thought, but impossible to put into reality.

How do you know who not to turn to?

I turn to no one. If you rely on someone else, you have already lost. Rely on yourself.

What are the wildest ideas you have had, to take revenge on your ex?

I divorced her. Revenge leads to revenge, and she has no idea. It was much better to divorce her and let her life spiral out of control. It became what it did, and she is the poorer for it. I let karma take all the credit.

“Karma comes after everyone eventually. You can't get away with screwing people over your whole life, I don't care who you are. What goes around comes around. That's how it works. Sooner or later the universe will serve you the revenge that you deserve.”

-- Jessica Brody

According to you personally, what is the definition of evil?

Bad things. You can do bad things, have bad things done to you, or hear about bad things. How bad they are is how evil they can be defined.

Has a friend asked you to share his wife?

No, but I’m still waiting.

When I was young I'd hear the saying, “Money is the route of all evil.” I would laugh, but that saying is so true. What do you think?

True, true, so true! I have my retirement and my social security. I was a happy camper. Then, my mom and dad died. I became the executor of their estate. It isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I was much happier before.

My wife and I are divorcing. She wants 60% of the money made on the sale of the property in exchange for no child support for my 16-year-old. What should I do?

Give it to her. You will be free and clear, but make sure the courts approve. She will get half of what you own together, anyway. 

Is suffering necessary for finding meaning in life? If not, what other ways can we find meaning?

No, suffering is it. Life is about learning. Suffering is the best way to learn and remember.

Is it possible to be free from God if we choose to be? Can God control our actions even if we don't want Him to?

God cut us loose. We are free to do as we want. If we choose to do bad, we will pay for it. If we choose to do good, we will be rewarded. It is our choice to do as we will. Karma will be our judge.

“If you're really a mean person you're going to come back as a fly and eat poop.”

-- Kurt Cobain 

My girlfriend broke up with me and is now back with her ex, who treated her horribly. What should I do?

I would laugh. She isn’t the most intelligent person, and you are well to be without her.

Can you think of something that has never been thought of before? For example, a new invention, per se. Is it possible?

We are making new things, and we are making old things better. We are thinking all the time. We are making the world a better place with most of our ideas. One thing you can say about humans: We never let anything go if there is a possibility we can make it better.

What can I do to make you happy?

Are you a woman?

How do I trust someone new after being hurt?

You take some time to heal. I know this from my experience with a 25-year marriage that went south. There will be pain that you need to get over, and you will get over it. And, you will learn some lessons. A few ladies thought I needed to “get back on the horse,” to speak. They were right. But, I swore off marriage. I’ve been with my “girlfriend” for almost as long as my marriage.

Is it more important to have a trustworthy friend, or a close friend who knows your secrets? Why?

A "trustworthy friend" won’t tell "your secrets" to the world.

My friend is happier than me, even though I am 6'5" and he is 6'2", I feel envious, what should I do?

How tall you are has nothing to do with your happiness, nor does your envy. Try this: Strive to be truly happy, always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. It is a choice you make for your life, and you should be as happy, or happier, as your friend. Anything else is drama you need to let go of.

“True happiness cannot be achieved through wealth, fame, or action. But through love, modesty, and self-satisfaction.”

-- Mouloud Benzadi

Do you really think your wife or girlfriend is faithful to you?

My Ex-wife, no. My girlfriend, yes.

When should I be honest?

Always. If you’re not, people won’t know when you are. Be honest always, even if it hurts others. People need a wake-up call, now and then.

Do truly evil people know how bad they are?

Yes, but they have stopped worrying about it. It is what it is. 

Is the number of times someone cheats important?

Not really. They have cheated. Do it once, the next time is easier. The question seeks how many times cheating is allowed. Cheating is never allowed. It detracts from your “code of honor,” which seems to be, already, in jeopardy.

Why should I care what people think about me?

You shouldn’t. The only person’s thought you care about, is you. Be good always.

How do you love a husband when you don't love him?

The question makes little sense. If you don’t love a husband, you… don’t love him. You can try to love him, but the try will be a lie standing on its own. And, as much as you try, unless the husband is an idiot, he will see through your lie.

“Never try to do anything that is outside of who you are. A forced smile is a sign of what feels wrong in your heart, so recognize it when it happens. Living a lie will reduce you to one.”

-- Ashly Lorenzana

What is the best solution to the problem of evil?

Confront it, and the problems it causes, with constant “good.” Evil will move on.

Do you feel insecure, and why?

I’m almost 71 years old. Feeling insecure disappeared when I retired, and, even then, I wasn’t that insecure. Life is what it is, and I deal with it.

How do you help someone you know needs your help, but, they believe they don’t, and refuse to let you?

That’s fine. I let them know that, if they find they are over their head, please call me. If they end up failing I remind them they should have called me. This puts a bug in their brain for the next time they find themselves drowning in the deep end. 

Why would one bother with a relationship when you have to dumb yourself down and speak with inane repetition to be in one?

Because you are in love. Love excuses almost everything.

What’s the most difficult challenge you’ve ever faced, and how did you overcome it?

The NCO Academy in the Air Force. I was not prepared for how difficult it was. It took a day to get my head screwed on right before I attacked the syllabus again. Ultimately, I garnered the Academic Award in a fairly large class. I was an NCO in the Intelligence Division, so I had to make a good showing. 

I knocked up our 16-year-old babysitter. What do I tell my wife?

16 years old? What are you going to tell the police or her parents? The wife is the least of your worries.

“Because the child does not have the power to withhold consent, she does not have the power to grant it.”

-- Judith Lewis Herman

Why are you dumb? Like, how old are you even? 12? Get some life experiences before you speak.

And, your “maturity” is parked… where? Name-calling will not endear you to anyone. “Life experiences” should have taught you this.

What will be your reaction, When you find someone continuously lying to you?

Confrontation. There is nothing like confronting a liar to make your day.

Can more money make people happy?

They think it will. In reality, what makes you truly happy costs next to nothing. Strive to be truly happy always, and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. It is a choice. How happy will you be when you lose everything, except your true happiness?

What should I do while facing too much trouble in life?

You are alive, and troubles will pass… like a kidney stone. Being alive trumps anything else.

Is it wrong to love for the wrong reasons but still love?

If you “love for the wrong reasons” it’s probably sexual attraction, not love. True love has to do with a deep friendship, not sex. It is the feeling that you can’t see yourself not being with this person for the rest of your life. Not many couples understand this. It explains a lot of the marriage issues.

Why is it getting hard to love myself?

It maybe, you need to look at your choices and decisions. Are they all good?

“Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn't have the time to sit around and talk about you. What's important to me is not others' opinions of me, but what's important to me is my opinion of myself.”

-- C. JoyBell C.

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com