Questioning Women, Mistakes, Relentless, Honesty, Failure, and Dumb

 

“Just because some people are fueled by drama doesn't mean you have to attend the performance.”

-- Cheryl Richardson

Is it true that women want drama rather than a "boring" stable marital life?

I always assumed that women have “sexual affairs” due to the “boring stable marital life” they lead. I’m sure it would inject the same modicum of drama into their boring lives as it does for the men.

There was an event that happened a while ago but I can't stop thinking about my decision during this event. Is that normal?

Yep. We learn from our history, what we did or didn’t do.

Can intelligent people need more common sense or practical knowledge?

More times than not. Sense is never "common" anymore, and knowledge can rarely be defined as “practical.” People, intelligent or not, are generally moronic. Driven a car lately?

What percentage of intuited questions you may have had for [this site] but strangely slipped your recollection and never came back?

How am I supposed to come up with a “percentage” if my recollection never came back?

How do you deal with people who only believe in religion and not science or logic?

I don’t waste my time dealing with people. Atheists, theists, spiritual, scientists, they matter very little to me if all they want to do is be offended. Even science keeps updating information as new findings are discovered. Logic only works if there is no incontrovertible proof, and even then… we need to have faith. Faith, by definition, is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof. The only thing I can prove is me, and even that proof is dicey.

Are we afraid of fear, or do we fear being afraid?

Fear being afraid, but never be afraid of fear. Fear is an emotion that tries to keep us alive.

“Fear doesn't shut you down; it wakes you up”

-- Veronica Roth

Can we judge people who committed the same mistakes we did?

Did you like being judged? You made the mistakes and survived. Better if you help them along the road.

Why is it that hating yourself makes you a bad person?

It certainly doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a “sad” person. Better to forgive yourself for any transgressions, and strive for true happiness always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances.

Should I forgive my enemies even if they refuse to forgive me?

Yes! Nothing would piss them off more than to be forgiven.

Is it the Right Justice or the definition of Justice to eliminate the weak simply because you have become too powerful and that the weak could have become powerful too if only they loved power?

This is “karma” dropping a bullshit bomb. It matters less whether you are weak or powerful, except that the weak need to be protected. An exploding ego should come out at the same time when the migrant tastes swings to the beat of another drummer. (I think we've both had enough bourbon.)

How challenging was it for you, especially when viewed by different kinds of audiences?

A little context would be nice. How challenging was what for me? 

What happens when someone shows weakness towards evil people?

Evil wins. This is not an option. We need to stand up to evil people. They have no power, except that that they get from evil. Strength puts them in another place. And, you can smile while they go there.

“Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate. It is not the empath who is broken, it is society that has become dysfunctional and emotionally disabled. There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings. Those who are at times described as being a 'hot mess' or having 'too many issues' are the very fabric of what keeps the dream alive for a more caring, humane world. Never be ashamed to let your tears shine a light in this world.”

-- Anthon St. Maarten

Is "relentless" a thing? If so, is it negative or positive?

It can be. By definition: “Not lessening in severity, intensity, strength, or pace.” If you're working on a project this could be a good thing. If you’re working on a person, maybe not so much. It can be positive or negative, depending on the context.

What are some things that can make a person appear stupid even though they are actually very intelligent, and well-educated? How can one prevent this from happening?

Too much bourbon can make you appear stupid. I recommend less bourbon… unless you’re in a bar with people you don’t care to know.

Reader's comment: If I was a drinking man, I would drink whiskey.

My reply:  It is a choice, my friend.

Why does one have to think when making a decision between what is right and what is wrong?

If they have to think about it, I’d pick different people to hang with. If a decision is about doing right or wrong, you do right. You always do right. There will come a time when this idiot turns left off the bridge... with you in the car. Turning right was the only option. Just saying.

What is the importance of exposure in overcoming fears?

If you aren’t exposed to your fear, how do ever you overcome it?

Do people who take their lives really go to hell?

There is a thought that they end up right back where they started. They have to live life all over again, and again, until they come up with a better ending. I like to call this their chosen hell on earth. It will keep repeating until they learn the lesson.

Can constructive criticism be distinguished from mocking, and how should it be handled?

Constructive criticism is not mocking, it is more like teaching. It is presented as another thought to consider that might take care of some seen or unforeseen issues. A person walks away from “constructive criticism” with a few things to think about.

I dabble in woodworking. A friend was having a problem building a stereo cabinet and asked me my opinion. I redrew his plan in front of him and he sounded upset at it. I apologized, and he said don’t. My drawing was simpler, easier to build, and solved his issue. He was upset that he didn’t see the simplicity when he drew his plan. He thanked me. I didn’t mock him. I showed him a better way.

“Being a critic is easy. But if the critic tries to run the operation, he soon understands that nothing is as easy as his criticisms. Criticism without a solution is merely an inflation of the critic's ego.”

-- Haemin Sunim

When in your life did blunt honesty feel helpful in dealing with someone with an inflated ego?

When their inflated ego was going to get them thrown out of the Air Force. They thought they knew better. They didn’t, and it took blunt honesty to make them understand their dilemma. We can change the rules, but you can’t ignore the rules.

Why do some people purposely claim they're bad at something when they're actually good at it?

They like to win. It is a sorry way to do it, especially if money is involved.

Is the 1960s psychology book 'Games People Play' still credible, it seems rather mired in the era it was written in?

It is a good baseline, but you’re right. People still play games, but the games have morphed and become more “intelligent” than they were. The games are keeping up with the Joneses.

What is a good risk to take?

“Blue Chip” stocks. 

Who do you think your enemy is harmful to, you or your friends?

Since my divorce, I have no enemies. But, at the time, many women thought my wife was wrong. No shit. I kept this information to myself, so they wouldn’t incur her wrath.

What's the importance of self-awareness in handling mockery from others?

If you are aware of who you are, the mockery is either true and they are stating a self-known fact that you can ignore, or it is false and they are idiots who you can turn the tables on… if you were a lesser person, that is.

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

-- Carl Gustav Jung

Why do I continue to fail in life?

Because you don’t understand your purpose here. You are supposed to learn to move forward in life. If you don’t, then you are doomed to repeat this life, again, and again, until you get a clue. You must like it here.

Why do they say that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration?

“Inspiration” is a thought. and a thought doesn’t take much work. To bring the thought to fruition, however, takes work and perseverance. Thought and fruition, 1% and 99%. 

How can people lie to your face and expect you to trust them?

They can’t, and I let them know the reality of the situation.

I have realized that I am a bad person. What can I do about it?

Strive to be a truly good and selfless person, always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances.

What is it that even the blind can see?

Truth and bullshit.

Why does my dad keep telling me I’m going to fail in life and that I won’t graduate university even though I just graduated high school and have yet to start my first year in university?

He is challenging you. This is a poor way to challenge the young as it can backfire on you. You can take what he says to heart and be a failure. Or, you can prove that he’s a dumbass and attain the goals you set for yourself. The choice is yours, not his, so show him what you’re made of… and reach for your dreams. Oh, and don't forget to keep reminding him that he really doesn't know you.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

-- Winston S. Churchill

I'm 18 years old and I feel like I don't have a lot of common sense. I feel dumb. What do you think?

You’re 18 years old. This explains a lot. To most adults you are dumb. You are entering adulthood and will learn what everyone else knows. Don’t fall for their egotistical bullshit, or you’ll prove that you are dumb. Strive to learn more than what they teach you. Raise the bar a bit. If you can make the “teachers” proud, you have accomplished something. Don’tjust be satisfied with being indoctrinated, strive to be more.

What are the dangers of mixing religion and state?

Pretty soon, the state controls the religion, and indoctrination begins.

What is your God-given purpose in life?

To learn how to be a truly happy, spiritually righteous, selfless, and fulfilled person in life. Other than wasting 25 years on a failed marriage, I have managed to check all the boxes. At 70 years of age, bad marriage notwithstanding, I can honestly say I am truly happy with the way my life has unfolded.

What is the general attitude of scientists towards inventions?

There is always a better mousetrap. 

What are the steps to forgiving someone who has cheated on you?

From my own experience, there are no steps. You forgive them or hate will eat you up. You will always remember. It is a lesson you can’t unlearn. But you can forgive, it is what the bigger person can do.

Do people get angry at you for not getting angry? If so, why?

I get angry so seldom that people don’t expect it from me. 

“Angry people are not always wise.”

-- Jane Austen

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com