Questioning Integrity, Talent, Love, Bullying, Cheating, and Faith

 

"I can't handle dishonesty; I like integrity in people and for me, that's very important in a man."

-- Shamita Shetty

When you observe that your manager doesn’t value honesty and integrity, then are you forced to tell a lie?

Why does the manager’s lack of honesty and integrity force someone to lie? I’d like to see the owner’s opinion of the manager’s behavior. That would tell me if I want to stay with that organization. Develop good, personal, moral rules of ethical behavior you can stand behind, and then stick to them. It will define who you are to those around you.

What are the introductory problems of private life?

Keeping your “private life” private.

Are you negative or positive?

I am positive, always, and in all things, regardless of my circumstances. But, when it comes to people, all bets are off. People can screw up a wet dream, and that can piss anyone off. I still try to be positive, even in the face of adversity.

What's the riskiest concept someone has pursued?

NASA.

My son used his mind control powers to make everyone on Earth dance uncontrollably for a week. How should I punish him?

I beg your pardon, but I missed the uncontrollable dance for a week. If I missed it, I’ll bet many more earthlings missed it as well. I would get your facts straight before you punish him for doing nothing.

What makes some people successful and very rich while others keep failing?

Perseverance in the face of failure.

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”

-- Winston S. Churchill

 What do you consider to be your greatest talent?

Communication.

Reader comment: Very nice! 

Why do some people fail while others succeed without having any special talent or intelligence?

Everyone has a “special” talent, even if they don’t think so. Creativity is a special talent. Being creative when others are scrambling to find answers, can help you to attain a goal.

Are men naturally inclined to want to have sex with every woman they find attractive but because of moral/self-control/society rules they do not do so?

Yes.

How do you get over a messy divorce?

You don’t. The divorce will always be in your memory. The best you can do is learn to move on down the road. You will find someone better, and you will probably find true happiness, but the memory of your “ex” will prevent you from ever getting into another relationship with evil, ever again. This is why we have memories. They are learning moments.

What are some techniques for active listening?

Paying attention comes to mind.

What should a man do if he loves his wife?

Keep on loving her. Be her best friend. Her trusted companion. There is a reason you are together, so don’t muck it up.

“He's not your prince charming if he doesn't make sure you know that you're his princess.”

-- Demi Lovato

Do men stop loving their wives when they get old?

Not if they have stuck by them, through thick and thin. If anything, they love them even more.

What is the best way to respond to someone who imposes their religion or beliefs on us without taking offense or feeling offended?

First of all, you don’t let anyone “impose” anything on you that you don’t want. Not allowing it will prevent you from taking offense. You can simply tell them, you are not interested. If they come back with you not wanting to see the truth, tell them you are open to looking at their proof. Religion relies on faith, and faith is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof. Atheists and theists both suffer from a lack of incontrovertible proof.

What can someone do if they cannot forget their past relationship and want to start a new one?

Don’t forget. Learn the lessons presented to you, and move on. Memory keeps you from repeating mistakes.

What is your tolerance for stupidity?

I have the tolerance to teach what I know. If they don’t want to listen and are argumentative, they are their own worst enemy. My tolerance has reached a self-imposed limit, and I simply walk away. Life is too short to become combative with stupidity.

What are some ways to address unresolved anger in a marriage?

Divorce. Worked for me.

How do you properly flip atheists off?

Ignore them. Nothing pisses people off more than being ignored. Why waste time on what death will teach all of us? Theists believe in life after death. Theists are padding their bet, so to speak. Atheists do not believe in God or eternal life. If theists are correct, there will be much more room in the afterlife.

“When God takes out the trash, don't go digging back through it. Trust Him.”

-- Amaka Imani Nkosazana

It always feels difficult to deal with people and friends who are bullying me every day. I’m just exhausted and I want to get rid of them. What is the solution or advice for me to live and feel free?

“Friends” bullying you is unconscionable. Like we don’t have enough to deal with in life than having friends bully us. You have stated your solution: Get rid of them. Find and live around better friends and you will feel free.

How can you force a dishonest man to be honest?

You can’t. He must decide, for himself, to be honest.

Is it okay to talk alone and pretend to be a popular livestreamer or podcast and laugh?

If you don’t impose yourself on others, and you don’t break any laws, you can do whatever you want to do. You’ll seem a bit strange to other people, but, what the hell.

How important is attractiveness to you in a relationship?

We are attracted to people in various ways. If there is no “attraction” then what’s the point?

Is everyone really equal? No one is superior to another?

Most people can kill the “superior” asshole next to them. How “superior” does that make them? It doesn’t. So, we are pretty much equal in our ability to make humanity a level playing field.

Why do you have higher expectations of people who have fewer resources?

They generally don’t have higher expectations for themselves. If you expect more, they can build confidence when they deliver.

“Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.”

-- Stephen R. Covey

Is it the right thing to cheat?

Think about it. No.

What is the demerit of being selfish?

A slap on the wrist and a big black mark on your chart for heaven. There is never a good reason for selfishness. We need to always approach life with a selfless mind and a selfless heart, then we don’t have to worry about demerits.

Just because somebody will do anything for you does not mean they're good for you, right?

It does not necessarily mean that, no.

What if I don't get satisfied with anything that I get?

Are you looking for satisfaction from material gain? If so, you will never be truly satisfied. Can you be satisfied with waking up each morning, with good friends, a person to love, and productive work? This is what we start with and toward the finish, this is what we end with. Everything in the middle? It defines who we are to the people around us. Strive to be selfless in what you do, and strive to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. It is a choice for life.

Are you okay with hurting someone?

Only as a means to an end, and the end needs to be saving lives.  

Is it considered offensive to call someone stupid or worthless during an argument?

Yes, and it also shows you have a streak of immaturity, you aren’t as knowledgeable as you thought you were, or you have no facts to back up your argument. The League of the Perpetually Offended will usually sink this low almost immediately. The only argument they have is that they’re offended. If you ask them why, you are “stupid or worthless.”

“If someone calls me stupid, I have to actually believe I'm stupid, in order for it to affect me.”

-- Rachel D. Greenwell

Why are atheists so hostile?

Atheists have no incontrovertible argument. But, then, niether do the theists. Both have faith in their beliefs, but faith is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof.

Reader comment: Actually, as an atheist, I have no argument. None at all

My reply: A realist.

Should a rich old man marrying a girl 40 years younger ever be legal?

It is legal, and the “rule of law” has no business sticking its nose in the love lives of “law-abiding” citizens. As long as both parties are of the age of consent, there is nothing to do about it. If they ever say they can’t be married, they will “live in sin” to be together. He’ll have a fox on his arm and she’ll spend his money. It is a “win/win” situation.

Is paying a whore to have sex with you legal?

No, but it used to be a lot of fun before STDs made of lifetime commitment out of it.

Does money bring happiness, and why are the rich not happy?

Money and “things” do not bring true happiness. True happiness is not fleeting. True happiness is an emotion felt always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances.

Is it possible that people who claim to be "satisfied" with their lives simply have different goals and desires than others?

You think? Most people have differing goals. Most people have no idea how to be truly happy. They think material wealth will solve all their ills, and when they get the wealth, they wonder where the true happiness is. People, in general, don’t have a clue.

Why doesn't my boyfriend ever "notice" me anymore?

They have something more interesting to occupy their mind. I know my ex-wife did.

“Because, if you could love someone, and keep loving them, without being loved back . . . then that love had to be real. It hurt too much to be anything else.”

-- Sarah Cross

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com