Questioning Bullying, Manners, Opinions, Marriage, Happiness, and Girls

 

“One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized, and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”

-- Michael J. Fox

Who agrees that while bullying someone is despicable, it serves a purpose and that it forces you to get into conflict and defend yourself? Do you think conflict is necessary for survival?

Bullying serves no purpose except for the bully. Conflict is not necessary for survival. However, sooner or later, the bully has to go to sleep. Pity the bully.

Is it normal to not enjoy parties anymore?

Only if you’re old and sedate, or the people you hang with are boring.

Do you believe in luck, or do you think people create their own opportunities?

I believe people create opportunities for themselves. What we call luck is simply random stuff dumped on us, that could be good or bad. I choose to create my opportunities, this way I know what’s going on around me.

How do I make friends as a bad person?

Find other bad people, or stop being a bad person. It is a choice.

Why do most people do evil to each other?

They move in darkness because they haven’t acknowledged the light. Oh, they probably see the light, but they choose to stay in the dark. It is easier to do evil when there is no light. I constantly mentor people to become the light so others can see. The League of the Perpetually Offended hates me. I have broad shoulders, so the burden of hate doesn’t phase me.

How do you belong with people who clearly hate you?

I don’t. When you hang with people long enough you start to emulate their behavior. I chose not to hate.

“I have decided to stick to love... Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

-- Martin Luther King Jr.

What would you do if we were to meet each other?

Are you a beautiful woman?

How can you tell if God likes you? How would he show you his love?

He leaves me to my own devices, as He does most of us. God only gets involved when you have done bad things, and, even then, He sends “karma” to take care of it. No one wants “karma” in their life. There is no rule about when “karma” will strike to make things right. I hate looking over my shoulder all the time.

Is online dating a waste of time if you don't have much money?

Yes. Grow some balls and ask someone out on a date. It is cheaper and you know who you are getting in bed with, so to speak.

Are you willing to be with a stranger?

It depends. Is she beautiful, familiar with Donatien Alphonse François, and not a serial killer?

What are your goals and wishes? Why?

My goal is to continue being truly happy always and in all things, regardless of my circumstances. My wish is that my family and friends continue to be healthy and happy in life. Why? These are goals and wishes each of us should have for our fellows and ourselves.

Would you rather be remembered as something very bad or be forgotten like you never existed?

I’d rather be remembered as something good. Since that’s not a choice, I’d prefer to be forgotten.

“And none will hear the postman’s knock

Without a quickening of the heart.

For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?”

-- W.H. Auden

What do you do if someone tells you they don't want to work with you anymore?

Ask them why. If you’re an ass on the job, you might want to soften your attitude a bit. Nobody likes to work with a horse’s ass.

What should you never tolerate from a friend, partner, etc.?

Dishonesty and hate.

What does it mean when somebody says "I've got my own issues to deal with" in response to you telling them about your problems?

They have enough drama in their life without taking on yours. People tend to forget that almost everyone has a basket of issues. Better to leave your drama unsaid, unless someone asks.

Do you have a good friend?

I live with her.

What should you do if someone says they don't want to hear from you anymore?

This is self-explanatory. Don’t contact them - ever. A little introspection, to find what you might have done. It will help you to understand why they feel the way they do. Then, you should go looking for other people to hang out with, and not make the same mistakes.

If you could learn any skill or talent instantly, what would it be and why?

Music. I’d love to be very talented with a musical instrument. Music can bring happiness.

“It is the poets, artists, and musicians that will carry us through the pandemic attacks into a new reality. They are the ones who tell us how to navigate, breathe, feel, think, enjoy, and fully live our lives.”

-- Erik Pevernagie

My dad wants to marry again. He is now 45. What should I do?

Wish him well in his endeavor.

How do you tell someone that you want them to rub your back or stomach without seeming too needy?

Unless this is a prelude to making a pass, it will sound too needy. Truth be known… if you need to ask, it is needy. Get over it.

What would you say if your boss told you you are not working?

“Since my output is more than everyone else’s, what are your higher expectations of me?”

Why does someone not give you respect as you have them?

They think they’re all that. Usually people with degrees. After I had retired from the military, I had a doctor who wanted me to call him “Doctor” instead of by his first name, he said he earned it. I told him it was no problem, he could call me Master Sergeant… because I know I earned it, for 23 years.

Can someone call me “I'm bored”?

Hi there, “I’m bored”! How’s it hangin’? I've never met someone who wanted to be called "I'm bored" before.

How do you deal with someone dead and wronged you but you were in love with?

You waited too long to be concerned with this. You should have forgiven them, if you were in love with them. The best you can do, at this point, is drop by the gravesite and have a deep meaningful conversation about it. Next time, don’t wait so long to be honest and forgiving.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

-- Lewis B. Smedes

What is your opinion on giving up on what makes us happy if our loved ones tell us to?

It sucks being them, I suppose. I strive to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of my circumstances. As long as what makes you happy doesn’t harm yourself or anyone else, you should be able to strive for it.

Is it bad that I do not believe in love?

Yes.

Why are atheists trying so hard to be wrong?

Why are theists trying to catch up? Neither one has an incontrovertible argument, Faith is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof. Both have great faith, but neither has concrete proof. Theists, however, pad their bet with spirituality and the promise of a life after. Proof will present itself after death. Either both will be dead forever, or one may find a life after. I like believing we will enjoy an afterlife.

What is a more polite way to say "let's be honest"?

“I’ll be honest with you…”

What are some reasons someone might be afraid that people who study philosophy to figure out how to develop Emotional Intelligence are potentially a THREAT to themselves and the people around them or only have "ONE perspective" for what life is?

Ignorance, and worrying about things that have no relevance. Having “emotional intelligence” should approach philosophy with an open mind and accept that there are many perspectives on what life is. I can see where “emotional immaturity” might be a threat by only recognizing “one” perspective. But, if you murder life, it is murder, no matter what your perspective is. If you excuse murder, where does it stop?

What do I do when someone makes you feel stupid?

It reflects on them more than it does on you, so forgive them.

“Invalidating someone else is not merely disagreeing with something that the other person said. It is a process in which individuals communicate to another that the opinions and emotions of the target are invalid, irrational, selfish, uncaring, stupid, most likely insane, and wrong, wrong, wrong. Invalidators let it be known directly or indirectly that their target's views and feelings do not count for anything to anybody at any time or in any way.”

-- David M. Allen

What are some things that turn off guys about a girl that they really like?

She sleeps around. She doesn’t bathe. She doesn’t shave her pits. She eats like a football lineman.

What should I do when my best friend wants me to have sex with his wife?

Is she attractive?

In what ways can atheists be deprogrammed?

First of all, we will have to prove them wrong. A tough nut to crack when both sides rely on “faith” to back up their belief. “Faith” is simply a belief in something for which there is little or no proof. Both sides have faith in their beliefs, yet niether side has any incontrovertible proof. The proof both sides need lies on the other side of life.

What are the consequences of ignoring a girl?

Your attitude will get around through the “grapevine.” You will be shunned by most quality women.

If my wife has sex with another man, is it good or not?

Can you watch, or join in? If not, I’d be concerned.

How do you be happier when those around you want to see you fail?

Everybody fails. It isn’t that you failed, it is what you do with that failure that people are most interested in. Show them your perseverance in the face of failure. Try, try, and try again, until you make it work.

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”

-- Winston S. Churchill

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com