Stress (Updated post from 1/7/2016)

 

My stress in life ended when I became debt free.  My only debts, per se, were rent and car insurance.  I never lived beyond my means where rental units were concerned, and only took out liability on my used vehicles.  Two things were obvious to me.  One was that I only worked to pay rent; everyone has to live somewhere.  The second was that I could dump the car anytime, as I usually worked close enough to walk from home.

Marriage, for me, was stressful for two reasons.  The love was unrequited, which brings up the obvious question of why she married me, and it created spiraling debt that occurs when one, or both of you, cares so much less about spending habits.  I'll let you guess which one.  The plus to having your own credit cards and accounts before a divorce is that, if you have an expensive female attorney, everyone becomes responsible for their own debt.  The upside, if there can be an upside, to thoughtlessness, is that both of you, hopefully, get a wake-up call to enabling bad habits, and bad decisions.  I never got married again.

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."

--Epicurus

There are other things I will not abide by in my life, that will cause me stress. One is that I abhor people who think they're smart enough to use me without me knowing they're doing it, including "friends," family, and people saying they "love" me. If they think they're succeeding, it's only because I have allowed it, for my own reasons. The fact they think I don't know they're using me simply pisses me off, as it means I have allowed dumbasses into my life. Two are people that are perpetually miserable, because I see no reason to enable their continued misery, especially in my life. And, the third is misery in my own life. Being miserable in my life accomplished nothing but making other people miserable by being around me, and what fun was that, was that... for anybody?

And, last but certainly not least, is being in debt.  By being debt free, I work because I want to, not because I have to.  I allow a bit of stress at work because it is interesting, not because I have to endure it.  And, besides, being debt-free means you can tell the boss to shove it, at the drop of a hat, and not have to stress over the consequences of your action.  This is a great ability to round out your wheelhouse inventory, and it's a great feeling.

"When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere."

-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Stress is good for only one thing - getting rid of it.  The best way to rid yourself of stress is not to allow yourself to have it.  Don't put yourself in a position where stress rules you, always know you are accepting the stress for a damned good reason, and, then, get rid of it as soon as possible.  The biggest problem with stress is that it's like eating the wrong foods; a second on the lips, an eternity on the hips.  

Many times the things that cause us stress are much harder to get rid of than they were to obtain.  Like waking up with the wrong person in bed next to you after tying one on, the night before.  The first thing you realize is... uh oh.  It is so much better in life to slow down and keep your wits about you.  Like moderating your alcohol intake.  There is absolutely no decision so important that you have to make it immediately, especially choosing who to bed down with.  Learn to take a moment and consider your options, and there are always options.  No, really, there are always better options.  The decision is yours.

"There is more to life than increasing its speed."

-- Mahatma Gandhi

The biggest stresses in my life have been, in reality, those which I have created for myself.  They were stresses which were caused by bad decision making, not following sound advice, and not getting rid of the damned stress, getting shed of the situation, when I realized I had created it.  If you live in stress, how can you ever hope to be truly happy?  You can't.

"God give us the grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, the courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other."

--Reinhold Niebuhr

The great philosopher, Winnie the Pooh, tells us, "To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks." To the educated, I will offer, that if we used "one" in lieu of A or AN, we could eliminate two words.  Yes, this has absolutely nothing to do with stress, but I just thought of it, so I wanted to share it.  Just saying.

Contrary to a popular song, one is not the "loneliest number." One is the most important number.  One is already more than zero, and one is a number that draws other numbers to it simply by adding another one.  What is 100, but a hundred ones added together?  Yes, I did it again, but, you must realize that, in your short life, you are number one.  You must take care of number one, yourself.  If you can't take care of yourself, how can you ever hope to take care of others?  If you can't love yourself, how can you ever hope to love others?

"I used to believe in forever

But forever's too good to be true."

-- Winnie the Pooh

We have a finite time in this life to realize we must choose true happiness, always, over misery.  Many of us never will.  Many of us start out believing in "forever" just to find out forever's too good to be true.  Personally, I prefer to believe in forever.  I prefer to think that one lifetime bleeds into the next lifetime, and I'd rather not live through "forever" in a state of stressful misery.  If you don't get straight in this life you will have to get it straight in the next, or the next.  There is no time like the present to decide upon choosing happiness.  There is no time like now to say "NO" to stress.  Or, you can carry that stress around with you, filling your glass with it, but, how much stress do you want to carry, and for how long?  It is entirely your decision, your choice.  Choose to strive for true happiness always.

Maybe it's time to put the glass down?

"Even as fire finds peace in its resting place without fuel, when thoughts become silence the soul finds peace in its own source. When the mind is silent, then it can enter into a world which is far beyond the mind. This is wisdom, and this is liberation."

--The Upanishads

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com