Parenting, Revenge, Humility, Trust, and Reading

 

“Only the very weak-minded refuse to be influenced by literature and poetry.”

-- Cassandra Clare

Why does it seem like everyone has more friends than you?

Because they probably do. I love friends, but they are not the focus of my life. I have a few friends, but lots of acquaintances. I try to do right by all of them.

Should parents teach their kids small things which bring huge equity to humanity? If so, would ideas like throwing trash into bins instead of on the ground, be good?

Yes, but not at the sacrifice of everything else that is right, like throwing trash in proper receptacles, following the “rule of law,” not stealing what isn’t yours, courtesy and respect, and not burning down cities just to make a point everyone is already aware of.

What are the benefits of effectively expressing one's thoughts and ideas?

Immediate understanding.

Does wanting something make it more likely that will happen?

If “wanting something” means you are actively working toward getting it, then yes, unless you have family that spoils you, or a “Sugar Daddy” to keep you happy. Work or want? Which one pays more? And, yes, the “Sugar Daddy” will eventually make you work for it, so it really isn’t a gift.

Can parents instill motivation and ambition in their children?

Only if they’re mentally capable of accepting it, and are willing to learn.

“I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren't trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.”

-- Umberto Eco 

At what age do people start classifying you as a failure when you have no achievement in life?

They can start “classifying” me when they please. They don’t know me, nor do they know my personal definition of achievement or, especially, failure. To “classify” is simply another word for “judge,” and if they judge me they are so in need of personal introspection, as they are probably rife with their own issues.

Let’s take it by the numbers: They dare to judge, so “age” is really immaterial to them. They would probably judge a baby for an abortion. Failure is simply an opportunity to learn why you went wrong and give you the chance to learn and correct it, if possible. As for “achievement” in life, did you wake up this morning? Any day on this side of the dirt is a great day, and you have achieved waking back into it (pity the baby). And, since you’re here, how about making the most of this gift of life by excelling in it? Aha! Yet another achievement!

We achieve much simply by breathing. Our lives are valuable to those who know us, family, friends, and those we have yet to meet. Retaining this “value” is another achievement, and so on, and so on. Strive to be happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. You guessed it, another achievement.

Why is "do revenge" considered a stupid failure?

Revenge leaves the door open for karma to slap you down for taking revenge out of the, more than capable, hands or karma. Revenge does nothing but hurt the vengeful.

Do you need a college degree to be successful in the UAE?

Define success. The UAE isn’t the USA. I don't think they see happiness as success, and their idea of attaining a goal isn’t having a successful bowel movement, which is becoming the definition of our own political system.

What is a response to “I’m not joking”?

“That’s your go-to?” or “Bite me.”

Why should people who are pushy, loud, and complain of their hurt feelings get their way of making us affirm something that is objectively false?

Whoa! Who lets them get their way? People who are pushy, loud, and complain, need to be told to sit their collective asses down and shut their pie holes before they really get something to be loud and bitchy about.

"When you get tired of hearing the sound of your whine, you will know it’s time to start doing something about your life. Until then, nothing will happen. Stop whining!"

-- Iva Ursano

What have you learned or relearned about personal responsibility, and how will you use this knowledge to improve your outcomes and experience in college and beyond?

The military taught me about personal responsibility. My dad was all about our responsibility to others, but if you can’t be responsible for yourself, how do you be responsible to others? My time in the military helped me develop my own personal code of moral ethics that I can stand by when things go south. If you can’t stand by your ethics, what kind of person does that make you? The kind of person everyone around you sees.

Why do people say they have no beliefs or values?

Uh… maybe, because they don’t have any beliefs or values? Of course, they could be lying, or they’re just shallow and don’t want to get involved in deep conversation.

What is the difference between motive, interest, expectation, and attitude?

A:  I’m going to introduce myself to that woman.

B:  What’s your motive?

A:  I’d like to date her.

B:  Why?

A:  She interests me.

B:  What is your expectation?

A:  A date. Pay attention, you’re starting to give me an attitude.

B:  You're going to need one, if you're serious.  Bourbon?

A:  A double... please.  

How do I increase my resilience?

Let someone slap you down good a few times. See if you can get back up. There are people who will do this for cash, some for the thrill. Slapping you down, that is. 

James M Barrie said, "Life is a long lesson in humility". How do you balance humility with confidence?

Barrie was right, but we try to hide our humility behind a mask of confidence, not realizing that both complement each other. I am very confident in my humility. I think, as a humble person, you can’t really find your humility if you aren’t confident. I spent almost 23 years in military intelligence. You don’t get through 23 years without confidence, and those same 23 years of seeing the best and the worst the world has to offer will either piss you off, make you smile, or make you humble. I was confidently pissed off, found time to confidently smile, and was confidently humbled by the people I met and the ability of nuclear weapons to end all life on earth. Oh, yes, I am very confident in my humility, and balanced, as well.

“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”

-- Rick Warren

How can someone start with a debate on opposing the motion"It is easier to succeed with natural talent than with acquired skill"?

Assuming the “natural talent” is equal to the “acquired skill” it makes perfect sense that natural talent is easier because you don’t have to learn and acquire a skill you already possess. This makes any opposition ignorant of “natural talent” abilities.

What facts are too terrifying for Americans to know?

Does an insane, egotistical dictator have control of Russian nuclear forces?

Why is verbal communication significant to our lives? What are some situations that show its importance?

Verbal communication succinctly emphasizes the emotion intended. What we intend is what we want others to understand, quickly and with no doubt. Orders on the battlefield would be a good example. If people don’t understand, the wrong people die. 

Do you trust people who betray your trust?

That would be counterintuitive. It isn’t that they betrayed my trust, but that I can’t trust them anymore.

Is there anything that makes you happy, but seems like it should make you upset?

It makes me happy to see young children enjoying a playground. Now, this seems a bit creepy, but, I’m a grandpa that relishes the look of awe and discovery on a child’s face, and how they seem to be able to teach adults how we’re supposed to act toward each other.

"There are so many things about which some old man ought to tell one while one is little; for when one is grown one would know them as a matter of course."

-- Rainer Maria Rilke

What is the weakest form of argumentation?

Hemming and hawing don’t bode well in an argument. It shows a weakness in knowledge, facts, and backbone.

How does reading work as a skill?

As an intelligence analyst, reading is very important as you have to do it constantly, picking out those items that are important to the issue being worked on. The same holds true if you reviewed contracts or purchasing orders. Reading is a necessary skill for anything but grunt work, and physical labor and even that usually has rules you need to read and follow.

Why are some people mad at me when I told them that all of us are selfish, and that, in the end, all of us would care about ourselves in general, even though we do care about one another at some point? Am I telling the truth? Is that why they’re mad?

Yep, that would probably be the reason. People never like to be confronted with the truth about themselves, it makes them uncomfortable.

Why do I feel I'm hurting everyone by having a relationship?

Why do you care? It is your relationship, not theirs. If they’re hurt, perhaps they should have jumped earlier. Now they have to go get a life, which, by the way, you are doing by having a relationship.

Does forgiveness take time in relationships?

A shorter time, especially if the offender is seriously contrite.

“Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this. Men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.”

-- Robert Jordan 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com