Questioning Ethics, Responses, and Lies

 

“Don’t let others tell you what you can’t do. Don't let the limitations of others limit your vision. If you can remove your self-doubt and believe in yourself, you can achieve what you never thought possible.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

Is it the right way to always be ethical in business?

Yes. The “right way” explains the answer.

Do you ever question yourself on political and social concerns to form or confirm an opinion, or do you simply go with your instinct and self-service?

Ever since we let socialists into government, I question everything. One thing I’ve noticed is that when they, the socialists, talk, they think that if they say bullshit long enough and loud enough people will believe them. Unfortunately, they’re right most of the time. People are basically sheep. They like to be told, and they really don’t need to hear the entire story, you know, like the truth.

Reader comment: So philosophies that are opposite yours are wrong and of no value?

My reply: Only if you feel they're wrong and have been proved to be of no value. Question everything, especially opinions, like mine. Don't just drink the kool-aid because someone says so. More than just black lives matter, history is what it is regardless of how people want to change it, and if socialism worked we wouldn't have so many illegal aliens crossing our border for a better life.

How can we communicate? We’re on the same page politically!

There’s a messaging app on the site.

Should people be politically correct even at home?

Not if they disagree with the politics. There is a lot being floated out there as “politically correct” that is simply wrong on a number of levels. The only reason they’ve been floated is the current political atmosphere that is destroying our country. 

What are some good ways to reply when your boss asks you a question?

Honestly, respectfully, and preferably with an answer. 

“The best management is sometimes less management or no management at all. William Coyne, who led 3M’s Research and Development efforts for over a decade, believed a big part of his job was to leave his people alone and protect them from other curious executives. As he put it: ‘After you plant a seed in the ground, you don’t dig it up every week to see how it is doing.”

-- Robert I. Sutton

 How do you respond to someone who asks where you know them from?

Honestly. If you know them from “Carla’s House of Pain” you might want to be discrete.

How do you reply when your boss asks for feedback?

Honestly and respectfully. The boss wants honest feedback, not someone else blowing smoke up their ass. If they balk at your feedback, explain that you thought they wanted your honest feedback, not more smoke being blown up their ass. This usually rocks them back on their heels. Their next comment will tell you if they respect you, or if you’re looking for new employment. I’ll bet they smile, or you’re well served looking for a better boss.

Is it better to be honest or polite when giving feedback on performance at work?

Both. Being honest and polite shows respect. You get what you give.

How do you respond when someone asks if you have time for a meeting?

“A casual meeting, with drinks after work, or a real meeting?” The boss might ask if you’re buying. I’d say yes because you might find yourself on the right side of them. Don’t spill your drink on them, though. Been there, done that… and the dry cleaning bill.

 When people ask "Can I ask you something?" what are some good responses that won't give away too much information about yourself?

If you let me decline to answer.

“If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.”

-- Thomas Pynchon

What is the best way to say "stop it" in a polite way?

“Please stop tapping your pencil. It’s aggravating.” When they continue, which they probably will, “Would you like me to break your fingers, or shove the pencil up your ass? Your choice.” Polite is a crapshoot for people with a nervous tick.

How do you respond to “to the best of your knowledge”?

“You really want me to think, don’t you?”

Why do we no longer expect truth and integrity from our politicians? When did this change? Why have we just accepted it?

We expect it. We keep voting, hoping to find one politician, with truth and integrity. When we find one, they get dragged through the mud for four years for no reason other than to smear them and put a moron in his place, someone they can play, while the country suffers.

Truth and integrity changed when we won our independence. It changed when people with money could buy their way into the office and sit there for the rest of eternity, lying to their constituents who are too stupid to see beyond the bullshit. We accept it because we still believe what we’re told and still refuse to look beyond the bullshit. 

How do you respond when someone asks you, “what’s new with you”?

I could lie to them, but it would seem better to just state what’s new with you unless you feel it’s none of their business, which is kind of a “small talk” killer. Better to just be cordial.

What is the best way to respond when someone asks, “Who are you” or “Why are you here”?

Look at their nametag, then, “I’m a hitman. You must be John.”

“If you don't want a sarcastic answer, don't ask a stupid question”

-- Colleen Hoover

If you could fix anything that you find is wrong in this world, what would it be and why?

Reader comment: I would half the world’s human population and hopefully restore the equilibrium to the world’s life ecosystems. Humans have ravaged the earth’s fragile ecosystems by their over exploitation and over consumption of earth’s precious resources beyond renewable rates. It has gone on for so long that perhaps it is already too late to save earth even if we reduce the world’s population by 90%. If I could just borrow’s Thanos’ infinity stones.

My answer and reply:  If we could get rid of the insane rantings of genocidal madmen who would decimate our population, it might help. We need to work together to fix what is wrong in this world, not kill the very ones who might hold the answers.

How do you respond to someone saying “You don't know me”?

“Whether I want to, or not, is up in the air. Are you being antisocial, or are you simply stating a fact?” 

How do you respect people's way of life without prejudice?

If they are free to choose the way of life they believe in, then I respect them, as long as they live their lives in peace and let me do the same. I don’t have to agree with people to live in peace with them.

Agreeing to disagree is healthy as long as it is peaceful. However, when people are forced to live a life they’d rather not live, who is prejudiced, me or their government? I feel for them but I have a hard time respecting those who don’t rise up against their oppressors and seek freedom.

What's the little thing that makes you "hat off" to someone?

Opening the door for a woman, especially an older one, or offering to help her carry groceries. It warms my heart that people can remember courtesy. 

What is the sign that someone has a deep thought?

They look confused. “Deep” thinking is not a norm for most people, so when they fall into the “deep” end of the pool they tend to look confused about what just crossed their well-organized office space (mind). Their eyes lock or glaze over, and their mouth tends to open slightly. You might even hear them utter, “Uh…” in their confusion.

For some, if you asked them what they were thinking, they couldn’t tell you. It came and went, like a ghost. Everything in their well-organized office space is still where it’s supposed to be. No harm, no foul, but… WTF? For others, they might smile and relate the thought to family and friends who listen, mouths opened slightly, uttering “Uh…”.

“Don't get too deep, it leads to overthinking, and overthinking leads to problems that don't even exist in the first place.”

-- Jayson Engay

Can believing a lie, cause harm to you and others?

Yes! Russian collusion did great harm. “Uh… the bomb is disarmed.” In the U.S., it got us a new President, God help us. “Uh… the bomb is disarmed.” Funny, it went off… and we still hear it ticking, or is that simply economic depression?

What are some of the cheapest purchases that have improved your quality of life?

Bourbon and cigars. Women… not so much. Too expensive.

Is it unethical for true crime documentaries to have horror movie sounds and editing for added flair? Shouldn't true crime docs be more respectful to the dead?

Yeah, but that’s Hollywood. It’s also wrong to have background music so loud you can’t hear the monologue. It might behoove them to consider the median age of their viewers. Some of us are going deaf. I stopped watching many nature and science programs because of the music drowning out the people speaking. You miss the entire point of the programming.

Reader comment: Yea I can agree with you there. Documentaries shine when you get to the point and leave out the fluff. Especially true crime. Let people hear the stories. So their stories can matter and mean more. I feel like it also desensitizes people too much. 

How would you respond if someone said, "You're always doing things wrong"?

“Do you want to do it? No? Then shut up.”

Why do liars try to expose other liars for lying?

Politics? No, probably smoke and mirrors. Keep attention on something other than themselves. Or, they feel if they say it long enough and loud enough, people will eventually believe them. For those who remember their Shakesphere, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."  Yeah, sounds like politics.

“People think that a liar gains a victory over his victim. What I’ve learned is that a lie is an act of self-abdication, because one surrenders one’s reality to the person to whom one lies, making that person one’s master, condemning oneself from then on to faking the sort of reality that person’s view requires to be faked…The man who lies to the world is the world’s slave from then on…There are no white lies, there is only the blackest of destruction, and a white lie is the blackest of all.”

-- Ayn Rand

Is hope a way of concluding things are a 50/50 chance? What is an example?

“Hope” is a way of validating your faith. Your faith helps you do everything you can to produce an acceptable outcome you hope will occur.

When your hope is validated, your faith in what you did to bring about the conclusion is also validated. Your effort was enough. If you failed, you would have to critique why you failed, understand the mistake, correct it if possible, or try harder next time.

There is no chance. Life is about cause and effect. If you don’t get the desired effect, there was some cause behind it. Find out what it was, correct it, and move forward.

If I am being told something, what can it be?

“Pay attention!”

What makes people point the finger at the same person whenever something is said bad about them (China points at America)?

They think that pointing will make everyone believe they are right. Unfortunately, everyone owes China or has contracts with them, including America. Even though they’re so wrong, no one will dare call them down for it for fear of China punishing them financially. America has itself to blame for not assisting the world and letting China shoulder the burden. We have taken our eye off the ball for far too long, that we have forgotten how to play the game. When we allow our President to be owned by China and Russia, shame on us.

What's the best way to respond when someone says, “I’m sorry for what I said”?

“Thank you. Now we can move on.”

What are some tips on coping with intense guilt and shame after often messing up social interactions?

Apologies would be a good start, followed up by not messing up social interactions again. Learn how to be a good guest by watching other good guests. Try keeping your pie hole shut unless someone asks your opinion. Don’t drink alcohol to stupidity. Stay in control of yourself.

“It's not all bad. Heightened self-consciousness, apartness, an inability to join in, physical shame and self-loathing—they are not all bad. Those devils have been my angels. Without them, I would never have disappeared into language, literature, the mind, laughter and all the mad intensities that made and unmade me.”

-- Stephen Fry

In your point of view, what is communication?

The passing of information from one point to another.

What are some reasons people bully and don't listen to reason when confronted?

Insecurity, upbringing, narcissism, and the like. Bullies don’t listen, they bully. They continue to bully until they realize no one wants anything to do with them, or someone beats the everliving snot out of them and threatens to do it repeatedly until they change, especially if someone smaller does it that knows martial arts. Embarrassment is followed by acceptance when they make an effort. It’s the only way I’ve seen a school bully change. 

How do you respond to someone who says, "You're too nice"?

“You caught me on a good day.” “You don’t know me.” “Don’t be lulled into a sense of security.”

Why are older folks with dementia sometimes rude and aggressive?

They are confused and, for the best of us, this is a trial. My dad was short with an associate at a “big box” store. She was trying to help him find screws. He said he knew where they were, as he headed off in the wrong direction. She told me he needs to take a moment. I smiled and told her that I was so aware of that. 

What's an excellent response to "You're too nice for your own good"?

“You’re preaching to the choir. Keep it down.”

“Are you always a smartass?"

"Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.”

-- Jim Butcher

Is being nice inappropriate?

Never. Always try your best to be nice. If the person has a gun, threatening you with bodily harm, and being nice isn’t working, smile, and show them your bigger gun. Hey, you tried, and maybe that’s all a jury really wants to know. But, always try to be nice.

How do you respond to someone who says, “I'm not in your face about it”?

“A good thing, 'cause you’d be on your ass.”

Who would you like to apologize to but don't have the courage at the moment?

Courage is never a roadblock to doing what’s right. If I need to apologize, I “man up” and get to steppin’. Never put off the apology if it is to be seen as heartfelt. The longer you wait the more they come to think bullshit is driving it.

If someone is asking me, “Do you understand”, does that mean that someone thinks I’m stupid?

If you're stupid, it might. They might just be concerned that their explanation was clear and understandable. I always come back with, "Yes, that was a good explanation. Thank you."

Would you agree that many people arguing with theists do not facilitate mutual understanding and advancement of a discussion, but rather abuse formal logic terms just to win an opponent by confusing them?

Atheists and theists arguing is the pan calling the pot a kettle. It makes no sense. Faith is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof, and they both have faith that they are right, but neither of them has any proof. The atheist can’t just say, “Please die, then come back and tell me,” because the theist still won’t be believed. And, we can assume the atheist won't take the challenge because, well, for them, dead is dead.

With these two groups, there is no reason to argue, no “mutual” understanding, no advancement of much, and the “formal logic” ship sailed centuries ago with no passengers on board. If the atheists are right, everybody dies and that is it. If the theists are right, they have life after death and the atheists still die and that is it. One might say, in gambling parlance, the theists are “betting on a come” while the atheists “stand pat.”

“The whole war between the atheist and the theist comes down to this: the atheist believes a 'what' created the universe; the theist believes a 'who' created the universe.”

-- Criss Jami

What’s wrong with asking loaded or biased questions?

It evidences a lack of ability to have an honest discussion.

Is the word "goof" a rude thing to call people?

Only if you’re not trying to be a goof. I’m a goof most of the time, so I figure I’m just in character. Most people I’m with, take it in good humor, as it was given.

What conversations should only be held in person?

Emotional conversations. To hold them any other way is a display of cowardice. They can’t see your body language, facial expressions, or any other tells that let them know you’re lying or telling the truth. After four years of marriage, my wife called me, in Turkey, to tell me she was dedicating herself to me. I told her I would rather she be her own person, get a job and learn about life. She got pissed off, hung up on me, and proceeded to destroy our marriage. Basically a total misunderstanding of what I meant. 20 very long and brutal years later, we divorced. Face-to-face, there is no substitute when it comes to emotional communication.

Should we just let Trump act like an idiot?

Why not? We’re letting Biden do it.

What are common cognitive biases or psychological illusions we hold about ourselves and the world?

We refuse to accept the reality of either our biases or illusions. We deny both because our admission of reality would mean we were wrong, and that can not be. Most of us hold tight to our biases and illusions, because, God forbid, we would be forced to face reality. Our world would crumble.

Reader comment:  Come on, face the facts here. Your world would not crumble, your brain would adjust just fine. It only takes a bit of time. In the end, you may find that you’re better off than you were before. 

My reply:  I need to make my smartass comments a bit more obvious for some readers.  Sorry about that. 

“The cognitive point here is that we generally make sense of confusing things by judging them against various preconceptions. When confronted with a new proposition we don’t start thinking about it with a blank sheet in front of us; instead, we place the proposition somewhere in relation to our pre-existing structure of beliefs and attitudes, this makes life much easier because we can reduce even a complicated judgment to a simple binary one – does it conform to my existing views or not?”

-- Evan Davis

What US president would be the hardest to hold a conversation with?

Jimmy Carter. 

How do you know if someone is being polite or just formal?

Being polite is so rare, why question it? Go with the flow and worry about it later. If they're being just formal, the fact that you’re putting your best foot forward might surprise them into being really polite, and not just formal. They might learn something. What a concept.

What is the best way to respond when someone says "you're wrong" but doesn't explain why?

“Explain why.” If they don't, tell them to put up or shut up.

How can we perfect lying to others and gain more love from them?

If you are perfect when lying to people who would trust you, you waste precious time. They freely give their love while you lie to them. Would they give love if they knew? Probably not, so you have gained nothing real for your effort. Bullshit hurts them and, eventually, hurts you. Better to approach life honestly so you have honest gains.

What is an unwritten rule when a certain situation occurs?

It would help to know the situation. There’s no context.

"Just as the common law derives from ancient precedents - judges' decisions - rather than statutes, baseball's codes are the game's distilled mores. Their unchanged purpose is to show respect for opponents and the game. In baseball, as in the remainder of life, the most important rules are unwritten. But not unenforced."

-- George Will

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com