Questioning Traits, Honesty, News, Gossip, and Sex

 

“Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people.”

-- Socrates

What are some important personality traits to change?

Anger, impatience, intolerance, groping butt, the overwhelming desire to spank, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Why do I think my kindness is presumed?

Are you kind all the time? Has anyone in your “circle” ever seen you “lose it” with someone? If not. then why would your kindness not be presumed, especially by those around you? I rarely lose it with others, and I’ll bet my kindness is also presumed. This is not a bad thing, not until someone pushes you across that Jekyll/Hyde line. Heads will snap up as people wonder where the hell that lack of kindness came from. Shit happens, even to the best of us.

I used to go into very bad environments, although I was raised in a good one. I ended up feeling awful and I want a change. What can I do?

So, is it the “good” environment that makes you feel awful, or the bad ones? Kind of confusing. If it’s the bad ones, well, stop going into them. If it’s the good one, I’d be asking myself, “Why?”.

If you will become a leader, how will you improve or serve the people in your own little ways?

If you’re a “leader” there are no “little” ways. Do the job you were voted to do, or go home. You don’t serve only those who voted for you, and you don’t belittle the ones who didn’t. You serve all of the people, or you serve none. You do what it takes to make their lives better and more robust, not to drive the people to their knees in economic woes. You certainly don’t want to be caught constantly lying to people who aren’t as ignorant as they were 50 years ago, well, most of them, anyway. Be a leader, not a puppet.

Can we see some naked and sexy pictures of you? 

You can go with “naked” or “sexy”, but not both. And, “sexy” is not one of the choices.

“The sight of cockroaches having sex is way more likely to turn us on than that of some people naked.”

-- Mokokoma Mokhonoana

How do you convince someone that people are basically honest?

Basically honest? So, not honest all the time? That makes you basically human, so it shouldn’t take a lot of convincing unless they expect real honesty. Real honesty might be a tough "fix" for the basically honest.

Who has primary responsibility for the safety of yourself and your family? Is it the police or you?

My family and I do. The police will be called to investigate the carnage.

Do you support free will or determinism, and why?

Determinism: “The doctrine that all events, including human action, are ultimately determined by causes external to the will. Some philosophers have taken determinism to imply that individual human beings have no free will and cannot be held morally responsible for their actions.”

I support “free will” because I can’t support the implication that “…individual human beings have no free will and cannot be held morally responsible for their actions.” If somebody hands you a gun and tells you to shoot the child or you will die, you will shoot the child because you have no free will. Bullshit.

If I kill the child to save my own sorry ass, I will hold myself “morally responsible” for my actions. I can see how the doctrine of “determinism” might apply to socialists or communists with little concept of real free will, but not to a society that prides itself on exercising free will in a free society.

I have often said that I believe in “cause and effect” more than “luck” in life. But, when I say this, it assumes the “cause and effect” are controlled by what we freely do to pave the path to an acceptable outcome. If we fail, we simply didn’t consider all of the variables.

Author's comment:  Try looking at it from a different perspective. The committer of the crime would not be responsible, but they are still bad. They have bad intentions, and they want to do bad things, even if it wasn’t their fault. They go to jail or get punished to protect the community from these people, not to “punish them.”

My reply:  You totally missed my point. 

What do you call someone who wants to make people pay their dues and has a problem with people achieving success "easily"? What does it say about this person's personality?

Most probably, ethical, honest, hard-working, and jealous

Are you disappointed that someone disagrees or doesn't understand your view?

Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, and they usually stink. I’m never disappointed that someone thinks enough to form a cogent opinion. One can only hope they agree or at least understand an opposing view.

“It's okay to disagree with the thoughts or opinions expressed by other people. That doesn't give you the right to deny any sense they might make. Nor does it give you a right to accuse someone of poorly expressing their beliefs just because you don't like what they are saying. Learn to recognize good writing when you read it, even if it means overcoming your pride and opening your mind beyond what is comfortable.”

-- Ashly Lorenzana

What is the good news that shows that the bad news is wrong?

Any news that delivers facts, not slanted editorial commentary. So far only one tries to do this and has been the number one in ratings since, well, they started. This would mean that virtually all voters would have to be watching them. Hard to believe, but there it is.

What is the difference between the nature of someone, something in a person’s nature, and someone’s true nature?

Unless it’s me telling you, everyone else is taking a shot in the dark when it comes to my nature or something in my nature. What people need to focus on is a person’s true nature, but, just when you think you have that down, they might change their nature. What does that mean? It wasn’t their true nature.

By definition, “Someone's nature is their character, which they show by the way they behave.” And, if they behave the same way all the time, you have their true nature. If they don’t, then all you have is a crapshoot… and good luck with that.

If you want to get a handle on someone’s true nature, you need to have an insight into their personal code of ethical conduct - their “code of ethics.” If they have a “code of ethics” it defines who they are to those around them, always, unless it’s in your job description to change your nature constantly, so nothing is construed as “true” in your nature. The danger in this is losing your true nature, so even you don’t really know who you are.

Why do some people view people's living experiences as facts when debating topics? I thought experiences were things that a person went through from a first-person perspective.

And, you are right. Your experience is a fact for you, but not necessarily for everyone, and not necessarily repeatable. More to the point, if you expect that same outcome to happen for you each time you have the experience, good luck with that. I will be more than happy to sit on the sidelines, cheering you on, while waiting for the inevitable. 

What are some reasons why people might hate using an umbrella in the rain?

They love the feel of raindrops on their face. They hate when the wind inverts the umbrella. They prefer wearing a hat.

Does your decision conflict with any of the core ethical values?

Which decision would we be discussing? Not that it really matters. If a decision I’m going to make conflicts with my core ethical values, I change the parameters of the decision so it mitigates the conflict, or I don’t make the decision. Nothing should be so important that it forces you to turn your back on your personal code of moral ethics.

“I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies, for the hardest victory is over self.”

-- Aristotle

What are some effective ways to cope and deal with gossip?

Ignore it, it’s just gossip. Advise others to ignore it, for the same reason. Gossip is what it is until it comes to light as fact or bullshit. If it isn’t true, let it go. If it is true, learn how to be more clandestine in your dealings. Gossip occurs because people don’t have enough drama in their own lives to keep them occupied. They probably watch “soap operas” on TV.

What does it mean when someone raises their hand to you?

They either want to answer my question, or they’re looking for an ass whipping. 

How can you be good at reading people if you don't have much experience?

I was in the intelligence field for almost 23 years, and I found that being good at reading people depends on your definition of good. I spent most of my career, especially when I was away from family, sitting in bars and nightclubs studying the human condition and betting with myself on who would come on to whom, who would get shot down, and who would get laid. who was married, who was having marital strife, yadda, yadda, yadda. I got pretty good at it, as long as I didn’t get personally involved. When you insinuated yourself into the equation you risked playing a dangerous game. But, I digress.

You can be trained to “read” people, or you can take the much longer road to train yourself. Both take time, and both have varied outcomes of how good you can be. You will be reading what you see, not what the subject really thinks.

Why do we need psychology?

So, we can better understand how the brain processes the reality of cause and effect or the lack of? 

What is Aristotle’s criticism of success?

“To fear failure, rejection, and denigration is human. Overcoming these innate and engrained struggles is the first step in separating yourself from the drones of fear-driven and ineffective leaders. Decide today what type of person you want to be: an innovative, freethinker or a groupthink-driven worrier. The best leaders are fearless and are often criticized.

But, to avoid criticism – say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.”

-- James C. Price

Sometimes I fantasize about killing people and their pet dogs. What are your fantasies?

Sexually exotic, but it has nothing to do with dogs or un-agreed upon violence. Jeeze… killing people and their poor pets? Wow.

What is your opinion on asking someone to turn down their music?

Ask them to turn it down. It shows a lack of courtesy. This is one reason why I abhor apartment living. I complained to the managers about loud music so much I finally left my stereo on loud at 1:00 in the morning. The managers came to ask me to turn it down. Needless to say, after a “goose and gander” conversation, we came to an understanding. It was quiet in the building after that, and the other neighbors smiled at me more. It would have been so much easier, had I not been in the military and overly courteous, to squeeze the little dweeb’s head. Jeeze, I hate apartments, and this was a “high-end” one.

Is it right to talk about how you have sex with your girlfriend?

No. What goes on between two people sexually is no one's business, unless you have a big mouth or an ego the size of a house, or both.

What is the difference between short and long-term savings goals?

You either save for a short time or a long time, to attain your goal. You put more money in for a shorter time, or less money in for a longer time, to attain the same goal. Time is the driver. When you want to attain the goal is directly linked to how much money you can deposit to meet that time frame.

Is there a way to know if your broken heart will heal?

In time.

“…the sad part is, that I will probably end up loving you without you for much longer than I loved you when I knew you. Some people might find that strange. But the truth of it is that the amount of love you feel for someone and the impact they have on you as a person is in no way relative to the amount of time you have known them.”

-- Ranata Suzuki

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com