Questioning Bullies, Smiling, Art, Goals, and Evil

 

“One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized, and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”

-- Michael J. Fox

What do I need to do to stop being bullied? Will it really help or make it worse?

I stood up to the bullies. It doesn't work for everyone.  Oh, I got my clock cleaned, several times, but they got bored with me belittling them in front of their girlfriends. Truth be known, they pick on you because they’re cowards that can’t go after anything that presents a real challenge. You don’t. They really can’t use their brain to any effect, so if you use yours, it becomes confusing for the morons. Take the high road, and lead them where you want them. They will follow, like a dog in heat. Remember, though, I got my clock cleaned, several times before they got the message.

Can thinking make you happy?

It means I’m not dead, and that fact makes me ecstatic. Is this a trick question?

How narcissistic are you? If not, how codependent are you? If not, what did you do to reach this healthy balanced state of (self + universal) love?

I had to laugh, sorry. I’m not at all narcissistic, nor am I codependent. I reached this “balanced” state by working my ass off and focusing on striving to be happy always and in all things regardless of my circumstances. I just don’t give much attention to negative bullshit. If people think I’m not balanced, I’ll give them a hand up.

What made you feel proud?

My son and my daughter. Both have excelled at what they wanted to do in life. What more can one hope for, other than happiness, and I think they have that, as well. 

Do you think asking anybody for too many answers and information wastes time and effort?

Not if they respect their answers, and the answering party is willing to take the time to mentor them. A waste of time and effort is asking the same questions multiple times, changing the question just a bit so it doesn’t seem like the same question. This just makes the questioner look stupid.

“Part of being successful is about asking questions and listening to the answers.”

-- Anne Burrell

Success is a habit. What’s the secret to making or breaking a habit? To change our habits, we first have to figure it out ourselves. When we try to form a new habit, we’re setting an expectation for ourselves. It can be anything. 

Success is being habitually happy in your life, regardless of your circumstances. To break the “habit” you need to stop being happy always and in all things. But, breaking this habit would also be counterproductive to attaining goals, for the most part. If you are not truly happy while attaining your goals in life, what is the point? One might as well just sit down and vegetate than waste time working toward more unhappiness.  Strive to be happy always!

Can someone be addicted to smiling?

Oh, yes! Please! I love to smile. Most people around me ask why I’m so happy all the time. Well, for the same reason I’m so happy to be alive - the alternative simply sucks.

Identify the time of life you’re in (adolescence, early adulthood, middle adulthood, late adulthood, etc) and apply Kohlberg’s, Erickson’s, and Piaget’s stages to yourself. How are those stages playing out in your own experience?

Reader comment:  You think I’m going to type all that out ?

My comment:  My thought, exactly.

Why do people "what-if" their way out of something that could be special?

They want to make certain it will be special. Some people don’t like to invest themselves in things that fail at the starting gate. They “what if” because the something “could be,” but could also could be not necessarily special.

As a teacher, what would you say, or do you need to do, if your student is being bullied?

One might consider more punctuation in this question, just saying. But, I could be wrong.

Not being a teacher, and if the bully is at the school, I’d probably ask who the bully is, and have the bully and the parents counseled concerning the choices the school will have to make concerning the student's continued attendance. I would think this is the purview of the parents until it isn’t.

“What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life?”

-- Lynette Mather

Do people hum when they are thinking?

I am so not a multi-tasker. I have to focus, whereas my son when in school, could listen to music or watch TV while studying and still make the Dean’s List.

If the main reason of someone for making art is to make money, but that art has nonetheless big artistic qualities and makes the life of others better and more interesting, is there even any problem?

I paint. I do woodwork. I love to refinish antique wood wall phones and clocks. I do this for the cost of materials, not to make money. It is what I enjoy doing. My “payment” is the look on the face of the people I do it for. Strive to be truly happy always and in all things.

How would you elaborate the line, “We make art, and art make us”?

Without art, we would have nothing.

What is the psychology behind people who give up on their goals?

If they haven’t given up one goal to chase another, they would seem incapable of perseverance, seeing a task through to the end regardless of the obstacles. If they do this throughout their life, in all things, they might be labeled a “quitter” by some.

Do you care if a man you meet puts his kids first?

If he doesn’t, I would probably have no use for him. Always put family first.

"Family first means that you always put your family first. Above everything else including your career, possessions, everything. Your family should always come first above everything. This is because your family are the people who are always there for you and who will always love you unconditionally."

-- Kimberley Jackson

What is the definition of happiness? Can you be happy without money?

True happiness is a conscious choice each of us must make in our life. We choose to strive for true happiness always and in all things, regardless of our circumstances. Unless we change this “choice” our happiness will be sustainable, with or without money.

Can you have both love and peace of mind at the same time?

If you have chosen the right partner in life.

Is your intention or expectation enough to achieve your goal?

If the intention or expectation is enough to persevere through any obstacles, then yes. If they are lackluster, probably not. I have persevered through most of my life, excluding my marriage. But, even in that, I worked on it for 20 of the 25 years before I finally came to the realization I was beating a dead cow. The cause was lost long ago, and I was the only one that didn’t realize it due to my intention and expectation.

You can kick a field goal, as long as the goalposts aren’t moving. You can make a touchdown as long as the in-zone is a finite distance. You have to be aware of reality.

Is there a reason for living a good life and doing good things in general?

You are what you do. Why would you choose a crappy life and do bad things… in general?

Do people who are happy always get what they want?

Not always, but the truly happy will still be happy, regardless. True happiness is sustainable because it is a simple choice to be happy always and in all things, regardless of circumstances.

“Happy people are those who use a lower threshold in order to label an event positive.”

― David Niven

Is it possible for friends to give each other favors and not expect anything in return?

All the time. It’s called “selflessness” in most corners.

What is the best way to achieve goals? Should you have multiple goals or stick with one and finish it before moving on to another?

Unless you are a supreme multi-tasker, I’d think focussing on one goal at a time is prudent. When I was in college I majored in psychology and took every class they offered in it. I focussed on my major, the goal, not on a minor or the other “filler” courses I had to take for a full load.

Are you making a career of evil?

Not on a bet.

How can one live happily ever after while still being realistic about life's challenges and struggles?

Struggles and challenges are nothing more than life providing us an opportunity to learn. Learn or not, life will continue forward, and the lesson will keep coming up until we take the opportunity to learn. We can learn it in this life, or in the next, and the next, and so on, until we finally get a clue and excel at the task. How can one be happy in this? You can be miserable in this if you choose to be. Misery and happiness are choices we make in life. I would rather strive to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of my circumstances, than to be in constant misery. What is the point of living in misery?

Who has given you terrible life advice, but they were right about everything else?

My dad advised me not to join the Air Force because Vietnam was winding down. He was right about the conflict, but I so enjoyed my 23 years in service to my country. 

"Better late than never."

-- Common axiom (but, terrible advice)

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com