Questioning Hope, Want, Talent, Fear, and Desire

 

"How would you cure a horse that is afraid of cars—graze him in a back-woods lot where he would never see steam engines or automobiles, or drive or pasture him where he would frequently see the machines?

Apply horse-sense to ridding yourself of self-consciousness and fear: face an audience as frequently as you can, and you will soon stop shying. You can never attain freedom from stage-fright by reading a treatise. A book may give you excellent suggestions on how best to conduct yourself in the water, but sooner or later you must get wet, perhaps even strangle and be "half scared to death." There are a great many "wetless" bathing suits worn at the seashore, but no one ever learns to swim in them. To plunge is the only way.”

-- Dale Breckenridge Carnegie

What do you do when you resign from a job?

If you’re smart, you planned ahead and will start your new job the next day. Or, you can just resign, without planning, in which case you ask yourself, “What was I thinking?”

What does it mean to have a hopeful outlook on life?

You are hoping that life will serve up cherries instead of lemons. Unfortunately, life is all about teaching us to make good choices and decisions, so how good life is, depends on how good or bad your choices and decisions are. Your life is what you make of it, even if someone else thinks they are in charge. It is your life, not theirs, and you should learn to control it early on. If life serves you up a basket of lemons, smile and learn to bake and make meringue.

What should I respond to "I respect you"?

Thank you, very much. Why?”

Why is courage important in business?

You must have the courage to persevere in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds. This is the only way you will be able to forge ahead and attain goals for yourself.

What should you keep secret in your life?

That you’re having exotic sex with the boss’s spouse.

“I thought about how there are two types of secrets: the kind you want to keep in, and the kind you don't dare to let out.”

-- Ally Carter

Do we always get what we want even if we don't want it at first?

If we always get what we want, there would be a glut of wealthy people in the world. There aren’t, unfortunately. We’re all dealing with what we got first. I divorced mine. 

What are your current, near future, and ultimate life goals?

To stay truly happy always and in all things.

What should you not say to someone who has no friends?

“You are truly ugly, and you smell.” The odds they commit suicide are about on par with you finding out they're a serial killer. I can think of many things I’d rather say.

Why do troll women always gawk at me? And what can I do to repel them without drastically changing my appearance?

Let them gawk. Why in God’s name would you want to repel them?

Are those who never quit winners in life?

The definition is up to them. If being perseverent in life is their definition of being a winner, then they are. I always consider those who persevere, and are truly happy in their quest, as winners.

“It doesn’t matter how many times you get knocked down. All that matters is you get up one more time than you were knocked down.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

Does poverty generate wisdom?

Wisdom tends to generate poverty. My journey to wisdom brought me from the “material wants” down to “what I need” to be truly happy always. As it turns out, what I need isn’t all that much. Wisdom makes you take a critical look at your life, and all the collected crap cluttering it up.

Are you courageous enough to acknowledge your inner voice?

Which one? The one that keeps me on the straight and narrow, or the one that gets me into deep shit?

Is writing a natural talent, or can a bad writer become a good writer?

I strive to be humble, so I try not to toot my own horn. However, I was a bad writer. As a matter of fact, I almost didn’t graduate high school. But, my “natural” talent was doing what I want, not what I was told. In college psychology I garnered a 3.2 GPA for two years, and the military offered me an Intelligence career.

Fast forward 40 years, and I retired to Mexico for 2 years. Visiting Mexico is fine for a couple of weeks. I became bored out of my mind. What to do? I wrote a 350 plus page novel, and did it in a couple of months. When I got back to the states, I wrote another for my mother. I wrote them for fun, not to publish, but people have read them and say they’re good.

My point being, even if you can’t write, with the right impetus you can become a good writer. I think writing is a natural talent, but being a good “finished” writer, a “polished” writer, takes a bit more education.

Is it valid for a person to identify as something that is not real?

For that person, it might be very valid. For the rest of us, the fiction they identify as might earn them a private padded room at the “Asile des Fous” in the south of France.

Hypothetically, if enough people convince someone they are a bad person and they deserved what happened to them, couldn't that then cause that person to believe that opinion and inspire worse conduct?

Yes, if they’re weak-minded enough to buy into other people’s bullshit. Bad people are pretty aware of who they are, so they need little convincing and their conduct will spiral down with little help from others. But, we all make mistakes, and people advising someone that they messed up would make a good person evaluate what they did and see if people are right. Right-minded people take “judgment” with a grain of salt unless there is a modicum of truth to it. Usually, the judgment says more about those who judge than the person being judged.

“If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State.”

-- Joseph Goebbels

Your best employee knocks on your door and hands you their resignation letter. What is your first move?

I hold up their bonus check and the letter advising them of their raise and tell them I probably won’t be needing these anymore. If I’m aware that they’re my “best” employee, I should also be aware that they’re getting ready to bolt. If I’m not, I shouldn’t own a company or be a manager of people, especially talented people. I’d invite them to have a seat and talk to me. When we’re done, they’ll probably be staying, if I’m any good at making promises.

How can I think strategically?

Join the military.

How to stop being afraid to speak in front of an audience?

Most of my military career was briefing aircrews and commanders on current intelligence. Sometimes I found myself in front of 30 or 40 people, sometimes more. I ended up training most of the people under me in public speaking and briefing.  I’ll give you the “crib notes” version.

Find a good friend, and an auditorium, preferably the one you'll be using. Stand behind the podium and have the friend sit way in the back. You won’t always have an amplifier or a mic. Now, start to speak and have your friend critique when you are loud enough, and not sound like you’re yelling. You need to work on this, as it's the proper “projection” of your voice.  Have them critique the content and length of the speech, as well.  Do this for the first few speeches until you understand the critiques and you don't sound like an idiot yelling at your audience like they're deaf.

Know your subject. Practice, practice, practice, and when you’re done, practice some more. As you get better, your notes on the podium will be less important than the proper use of the projection screen. Work on good voice projection for the venue, as this is the hardest part. Never turn your back to the audience. Turn your head to use a pointer, then turn your head back to the audience to speak. Voice projection only works if you are projecting to your audience, not to the screen. Be ready to answer questions. If you don’t know the answer, have them leave a number so you can call them back with it.

Relax. It is your speech, so you are in charge. Have them quiet down, welcome them, do an introduction of what you’re speaking about, have them hold questions till the end, and begin the speech. Never forget that they are there for a purpose, to glean some information you have for them. That puts you in charge of getting them what they want in the most factual, complete, concise, and shortest way possible.

When you’re done, recap if necessary, thank them for their attention, and ask if there are any questions. Have a pen ready to take down their number if you have to get back to them with an answer.

It does get much easier the more you do it.

How do you tell your boss he is wrong, and why he is wrong?

Do it in private, their office is a good place. Ask to speak freely. Don’t say he is wrong, but tell him why you think he is wrong. Most important, you’d better be right.

My 6-slump-old slump my slump and now I'm slump at her. How do I slumply slump her slump she shouldn't slump things?

Hmmm… Slumps me. 

"Words are a commodity in which there is never any slump."

-- Christopher Morley

How can we put more importance on learning how to negotiate with ourselves in order to achieve greatness?

Don’t negotiate with yourself. If you negotiate you admit that you can’t achieve greatness unless you do and, in this, you’ve already lost. Set your plan in action to achieve greatness. A big part of this plan is to persevere, in the face of insurmountable odds, to keep moving forward to attain your goals. There are two sides to each of us - positive and negative, “can do” and “not so much”. Personally, I’d show “not so much” the door, and ask them to feel free not to return.

Who is the author of your desires?

That would be me since they are my desires. This is the one thing I am sure of. Their names? Not so much.

When describing your problem, How do you quantify the significance of the problem in terms of loss (i.e., time, money, other resources) or uncaptured value (# of people or entities that need a solution to this problem)?

I have a problem. The problem is the manager that requires me to “quantify the significance of the problem in terms of loss or uncaptured value.” Meanwhile, the problem persists and the company loses money. I have laid out the problem to management. Management gets paid to “quantify the significance.” If I could do this, I’d be another wasted slot in management, endowed with skills but doing nothing but watching the company fail.

When are men ever treated like kings?

When they go through the coronation ceremony "whereby a sovereign is inaugurated into office by receiving upon his or her head the crown, which is the chief symbol of regal authority."  Until that happens you can continue to kiss my ring.

Is this curiosity when "I threw a small stone, then I was worried about a car with a driver inside; if the stone had hit the car, I would be miserable, but finally the stone didn't hit the car, and I regret it, and I want to try again"?

Yes! You are curious about how unbelievably stupid you can actually be. What happens when the stone hits the car is a side note unless you cause the driver's death. When this happens, you’re back to “how unbelievably stupid you can actually be.” You need to have an answer because the judge will probably ask you.

“The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything, except what is worth knowing.”

-- Oscar Wilde

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com