Questioning Fear, Learning, Leaders, Regret, and Estimating

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-- Marianne Williamson

Why do I think I may do something bad or embarrassing, sometimes, especially when I am with someone I adore or in a new place which is special, like a party with high-ranking people?

Everybody thinks this way. I was with a company for 17 years and I always wondered if I acted correctly. I found the best thing to do is always the right thing. If you’re unsure, do nothing. Smile, be cordial, don’t act out or try to be funny, and keep your mouth shut unless someone asks you a question. Keep your hands at your side, or on a drink. Don’t drink too much. Try soda.

Basically, start at the bottom and feel your way up. Watch everyone else. Just watch. See how they present themselves and critique them in your mind. Who is an idiot, who is suave, who acts mature, and who doesn’t? I went to bars and clubs, alone, and would just watch the interaction between people. How they acted, who was liked, shunned, the clown, the star. You will catch on.

“You got you. That’s it. Anything else is a luxury. Nobody owes you love, respect, loyalty, and honesty. But be thankful if you get it from anyone” Do you agree?

Yep. People are basically shit. The only person you can rely on is you, and even that is in question. Why? Because people are basically shit. Right?

How does one command respect when disagreeing with someone?

Be polite and respectful, even if they are being an ass. If you control your voice you control the conversation. Agree on points you agree on, disagree on points you don’t agree on, but always be respectful. People listening to you will know who is being respectful and who isn’t, and even if you lose the argument, you’ll win the day.

If I'm the boss, am I right that I'm offering a raise to those who want to resign?

If they’re crap employees, why would you offer them raises?

What's the value of ethical behavior in everyday life?

The value is obvious, and the fact that people don’t follow an ethical code of behavior is just as obvious. Our political leaders are supposed to lead by ethical example. They don’t, and our cities that haven’t been burned are rife with violence. Law-abiding citizens are labeled criminals while the real criminals are given a pass. Our world is topsy-turvy because of the lack of ethical behavior.

What’s the value of ethical behavior in everyday life? One only has to listen to the news or look around them.

“Simply put, “ethical behavior” is knowing “right” from “wrong,” whether in the workplace or in personal life, and acting accordingly. Various factors can determine what an individual would deem to be “right” or “wrong,” including personal values derived from one’s own upbringing, religion, government, society and/or popular media, but in business, a code of ethics published by the company or organization can provide its own definition.”

-- Ethical Behavior - Definition

What have you recently realized you have been doing wrong a few years back?

Well, this would be embarrassing.

How do you deal with colleagues who are older than you but lower in "title" and they feel like they know better and debate with you every time you make a comment or decision?

If they’re right, listen to the wisdom of age. If they think they’re right, ask them why they think so. If they’re lower in title or position, your job is to make decisions not debate with the staff, so don’t debate. Issue the orders and send them on their way. My preference, if they want to comment, is to tell them it isn’t open for debate, and go do what they’re told. If you’re making a decision, then you must be the one in charge and, as such, I would think there must be avenues to reprimand these folks.

The best way to handle them is to bring them into your office, hear them out, and inform them if they have issues with how you do things, they can always go to your supervisor and complain. Or, have them do the job their way while the others do it your way. If they fall on their face, next time they’ll do it your way and you can bring up their failure.

How do I learn something better?

Find something that’s better, and learn it.

Is luck necessary for a successful life?

Every once in a great while “luck” has its moment in the sun. Hard work, knowledge, and knowing when to strike, are needed more in creating what you want to attain in life. Success, however, is just about making the simple choice to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances.

Why is it that many corporations are not genuinely interested in bettering the world?

Greed.

“He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.”

-- Socrates

Can success feel unfulfilling?

Only if you are relying on more than true happiness in life. If you haven’t attained the goals you wanted, you might feel unfulfilled, regardless of how happy you are.

Are great leaders really great or just perceived that way?

If leaders aren’t really great, they won’t be leaders very long. Adolf Hitler was a great leader until he let power go to his head. Genocide and trying to conquer the world were his undoing. The problem with being a “great leader” is letting it all go to your head. Very few are able to keep their feet planted firmly in reality. Worse are the people, the followers, who keep perceiving them as great, even after they’ve gone off the rails.

Which companies would've turned out if they had their full potential instead of having "wasted potential"?

Now that we know why they’re bleeding cash, keep your eyes on “Twitter” and you’ll see it unfold in real-time.

Are we more likely to regret our actions or inactions?

If your actions kill someone, you will feel terrible. If your inactions lead to the death of someone, you will feel terrible. Either way, there will be regret. Better to take action and, at least, know you tried.

Can suicide be permissible depending on the intent? 

Try this:

“There is no greater love than this: that a person would lay down his life for the sake of his friends.”

-- John 15:13

What do you call someone who isn't sensitive?

Insensitive, or callous. Or, an asshole. 

Which other principle do you think opposes suicide?

Besides life? Probably, love.

What can you teach about for hours?

Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and Escape (S.E.R.E.).

What does it take for a person to stand by his/her values even if it means death?

Faith, and a belief if something greater than yourself.

What little thing tell you that you are a good person.

A voice, louder than the other voice.

“I am not anxious to be the loudest voice or the most popular. But I would like to think that at a crucial moment, I was an effective voice of the voiceless, an effective hope of the hopeless.”

--Whitney M. Young

If you could help someone in your local community ‘neighbor’ with a task they are struggling with for a mutually agreed amount; 1. Would you accept if you had the right skills to help? 2. Why would you say yes?

A bar-b-que, because I love good pork. I’d say yes because they’re a neighbor. 

What can I say about myself as an introvert but not sound conceited or arrogant?

You are shy.

What do you call someone who underestimates others?

Lucky to be alive.

Why should you let people underestimate you?

Won’t they be surprised?

What do you call someone who doesn't do what they say?

A hypocrite. Guilty as charged.

“The difference between my darkness and your darkness is that I can look at my own badness in the face and accept its existence while you are busy covering your mirror with a white linen sheet. The difference between my sins and your sins is that when I sin I know I'm sinning while you have actually fallen prey to your own fabricated illusions. I am a siren, a mermaid; I know that I am beautiful while basking on the ocean's waves and I know that I can eat flesh and bones at the bottom of the sea. You are a white witch, a wizard; your spells are manipulations and your cauldron from hell yet you wrap yourself in white and wear a silver wig.”

-- C. JoyBell C.

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com