Questioning Change, Values, Teams, Intuition, and Trust

“When I look at narcissism through the vulnerability lens, I see the shame-based fear of being ordinary. I see the fear of never feeling extraordinary enough to be noticed, to be lovable, to belong, or to cultivate a sense of purpose.”

-- Brené Brown

 

Why are things changing for the worst?

Voters are not the sharpest tools in the shed.

Is it better to be good but not great or great but not good?

Adolf Hitler was great, but he was a genocidal little shit that wanted to rule the world. Not good. I vote we be good in everything we do, including being great.

What can improve one’s knowledge?

Reading. Discussion. Education. If done correctly, knowledge costs nothing except your time discovering it.

How do you make your own hierarchy of needs?

Use Maslow’s hierarchy as a guide. Understand that a desire is not a need. A need is something that you cannot survive without. To mess with Maslow’s hierarchy is like walking through a minefield. Personally, I’d leave it alone.

Will society ever learn to not glorify narcissists?

If they do, narcissists will go crazy. The suicide rate amongst them will probably climb.

“The faculty to think objectively is reason; the emotional attitude behind reason is that of humility. To be objective, to use one's reason, is possible only if one has achieved an attitude of humility, if one has emerged from the dreams of omniscience and omnipotence which one has as a child. Love, being dependent on the relative absence of narcissism, requires the developement of humility, objectivity and reason.”

-- Erich Fromm

Why is authenticity an important core value?

If you’re “authentic” you don’t have to remember all the inauthentic things, the bullshit, you’ve put out there. Better to be authentic and let people know who you really are. Our “core values” are, basically, our personal code of ethics. They define who and why we are to those around us, so they had better reflect the good, moral, ethics you can stand by.

What are the three biggest problems on earth right now?

Greed. The other two are in there, somewhere. Take care of greed and you take care of everything else.

The sign I ignored at the beginning was not trusting my gut feeling. The bad feeling something was off. I now feel I’ve lost my gut feeling and can’t rely on it. What are some signs you use to identify and keep safe from bad people?

From what you wrote, it seems your “gut feeling” was the only thing you should have relied on, since you ignored it when it tried to warn you.

Our “gut feeling” is our subconscious remembering things our emotions might make us forget. Those lessons we learned but really didn’t think much about until we found ourselves in a similar circumstance.

What you might want to do is pay more attention to your gut.

Does having multiple talents make us useless?

No, but it might make you a jack of all trades and a master of none.

What is your interpretation of human behavior in 2022?

It is becoming more violent. It has become evident, and really no surprise, that people who believe in murdering unborn children are on the razor edge of killing adults. Court rulings can spark violence that leaves a city in ashes, again, no surprise when understanding that law enforcement in these cities has been cut in half. So, who is to blame for all of this? Well, here’s a thought:

“The useful idiots, the leftists who are idealistically believing in the beauty of the Soviet socialist or Communist or whatever system, when they get disillusioned, they become the worst enemies. That’s why my KGB instructors specifically made the point: never bother with leftists. Forget about these political prostitutes. Aim higher. They serve a purpose only at the stage of destabilization of a nation. For example, your leftists in the United States: all these professors and all these beautiful civil rights defenders. They are instrumental in the process of subversion only to destabilize a nation. When their job is completed, they are not needed anymore. They know too much. Some of them, when they get disillusioned, when they see that Marxist-Leninists come to power—obviously they get offended—they think that they will come to power. That will never happen, of course. They will be lined up against the wall and shot.”

-- Yuri Bezmenov (1939-1993), former Soviet journalist and KGB agent

What is the difference between a team and a group?

A “team” agrees to work together toward a common goal. A “group” is just a bunch of people who could be waiting for a good leader to make some of them into a team.

How do I stop needing external validation to get the motivation to continue the things I want to do?

Understand that you are in charge of your life, not someone else. If you’re right, why do you need some putz to validate you? And, if you want to do it, why do you give a damn what someone else thinks about what you want? It isn’t for them, it’s for you. If you want to stop needing external validation, then take control of your own life. It is your life, after all.

What are some things that should not be laughed at?

Death. How someone looks. Loss. And anything someone simply can’t help. Better we should try to show compassion, consideration, and understanding.

What are the things psychologists can tell from people they frequently meet (like work colleagues) who are not their clients?

If they frequently meet them, they become an open book if the psychologist is any good at reading people. People with nothing to hide can feel comfortable around them. Having served in the intelligence field for almost 23 years, and being full of shit and a self-proclaimed hypocrite, I try to stay away from them.

Who or what brings you peace?

The wonder that is exhibited on a small child’s face when they see something extraordinary. It makes me smile and gives me hope.

“Pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within.”

-- Eckhart Tolle

Is intuition the same as “following your gut”? Why, or why not?

Pretty much. I think intuition is a feeling you get by weighing all the variables. Your gut has no idea what those variables are, or remembers things you’ve forgotten, but, either way, it is screaming at you for a reason.

What is the karma behind people who won the lottery?

To be determined. It depends on how selfless they are with what they’ve won.

How are negative thoughts related to the subconscious mind? Are they capable of affecting my actions, positively or negatively?

Oh, they’re in there, and they can have subconscious effects on your actions. However, I’m not sure how a negative thought could be positive. If you used a “negative” choice to bring about a positive outcome, that would be defined as a positive choice in the “guise” of negativity, wouldn’t it?

Is there anything in your life right now that you would like to change?

My mother’s health. I’m not cut out to be a caregiver, but I try my best.

Why do people put humanity and kindness in the same category even though humanity does not deserve to be even associated with kindness?

Truth be told, what we loosely define as “humanity” today, is not the definition: Humaneness; benevolence. "He praised them for their standards of humanity, care, and dignity." So, if you’re not being kind, you’re really not being human, by the definition. People put it in the same category because of the definition. People are supposed to act appropriately, to societal standards - the definition, The fact that the majority choose not to is because, well, people are free to define themselves as anything but human.

“Now is not the time for bigots and racists. No time for sexists and homophobes. Now, more than ever is the time for ARTISTS. It’s time for us to rise above and to create. To show humanity. To spread hope. We must prevent society from destroying itself, from losing its way. Now is the time for love.”

-- Kamand Kojouri

Do managers deserve more understanding?

Only if they’re good managers. If you understand the pressure they’re under, it helps you understand why they are doing what they’re doing. It was a standard that employees just need to do the work, they don’t need to know the intricacies of why. We have come to understand that an employee’s knowledge of the business helps invest them in attaining the goals of the business. Everybody wins. A “team” effort. It is up to management to develop this team mentality.

Should one always trust their gut instinct or is it often more productive to think things through before making a decision, even if it means that the decision may not be as quick?

As much as I love good gut instinct.  However, given the time, it would be less of a crap shoot and probably more productive to think things through before making an important decision.

How do you make people do things for you willingly, not resorting to some manipulative antics?

Have you tried asking them? 

What's the best way to reward slain soldiers fighting to save a nation from terrorists, bandits, kidnappers, and unknown gunmen as is the case with present-day Nigeria where their efforts are going unnoticed by the government of the day?

You just stated it, perfectly. Recognition, not only by the government but by the population as a whole. The statement of support needs to overshadow the statement of terrorism, or no progress will be made.

How do you make someone understand the difference between opinion and fact (I was sure proof would work but I was surely mistaken)?

They don’t want to understand, and nothing you say will change their mind. I call these people the League of the Perpetually Offended because they simply don’t want to listen. They are offended that you keep trying to change their mind with facts or truth. How dare you hit them with reality?

“You always own the option of having no opinion. There is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can't control. These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone.”

-- Marcus Aurelius

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com