Questions of Complications, Problems, and Failures

 

“If you choose to not deal with an issue, then you give up your right of control over the issue and it will select the path of least resistance.”

-- Susan Del Gatto

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Note to my readers:  The past week's tally is in, and it states there were 6,650 views of my answers.  It would seem I'm stuck in the "six thousand" arena.  I'll have to work on that.  I'm thinking seriously about posting those answers which garnered more than a couple of hundred views.  I'll be interested in seeing what draws interest.  I think I'll work on this for the month of December.

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I am very complicated. I usually complicate simple things and get my reputation ruined. What should I do?

Try focusing on those “simple things” and less on your reputation which, according to you, is ruined anyway. You certainly aren’t complicated, you just make things too complicated that probably don’t need to be. Find the easy way to do things. When you learn to do things smarter (re: easier) you will see what I mean.

Does it really ever get any better, or is that just a saying?

It really depends on how much you choose to dwell on it. Strive to be happy always, because the alternative simply sucks.

How do we solve the problems of life?

One at a time. Search out the root cause of the problem and deal with it first.

“We always hope for the easy fix: the one simple change that will erase a problem in a stroke. But few things in life work this way. Instead, success requires making a hundred small steps go right - one after the other, no slipups, no goofs, everyone pitching in.”

-- Atul Gawande

What does having a gut issue mean?

Well, mine’s kind of getting bigger.

In what subtle and clever way can I send an important message to someone I cannot contact or speak to (not including making another friend directly sending them the entire message, it will be too obvious)?

If you can’t contact or speak to them, maybe there’s a good reason. I’d search out the reason and figure how to get around it. Making a friend do it isn’t either subtle or clever. It smacks of laziness.

Why am I such a failure?

You have asked a question, “Why was I born a failure?” This was changed to this question, “Why am I such a failure,” which isn’t really the same question at all. Unless you changed the original question, I’d say someone is sabotaging you. I’d be pissed that they want you to look like a failure.

To address your original question, no one is born a failure, failure is thrust upon us by a lack of quality mentoring. Now, consider this, that you have proved Newton’s Third Law, in a way: “For every action in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Now, it really has to do with force, but asking the right question can force the right person, or persons, to try and answer it. So, you see, you have succeeded, more than several times, which means you must not be a failure. Good for you!

“I can't give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.”

-- Herbert Bayard Swope

What nationality is best at overcoming life's difficulties in your opinion?

Having traveled the world in the military, I’d have to give this to any “fourth world” country. If you don’t overcome difficulties there, you’ll probably die, so they make do. They try. They do what it takes to stay alive. “First world” citizens would probably be lost, stress out, get ulcers, shoot themselves, or blame others for their inability to survive. 

What should you do when you are shattered in life, mostly by people?

Ignore the people. Find people who support you for who you are and what you try to do. Your path is your path, not theirs. You have to learn to walk it or change it, but it is a choice you must make, not them. Most importantly, strive to be happy always, even in the face of this adversity, because this will just piss them off.

How do I know that a particular situation or circumstance is an opportunity? Also, is an opportunity the same as a chance?

Depending on your outlook, every situation should be considered an opportunity. Getting up in the morning is an opportunity. You have a choice to make, a decision, to be involved or not. It is a chance to try to excel in life or to fail and, in doing so, to learn something. How do you know? Just admit that everything is, and then smile that you are alive and able to partake in whatever opportunity presents itself.

“A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.”

-- Francis Bacon

What is more than half your age if you're 30?

Anything more than 15? Is this another trick question?

What weaknesses in your early life, later on, turned out to be strengths?

Sensitivity. growing up we are told not to cry, as it can be seen as a sign of weakness. That was total bullshit. It’s okay for men to cry, to smell the flowers, to hold a baby, or a puppy, and smile, to wear pink, and still power lift 300 pounds or beat the crap out of the guy laughing at you. It’s all good. Okay, maybe ignoring the idiot laughing at you would be a better move.

Do you believe that because you can do it or have done it, ANYONE can do it?

Being humble, I would have to answer, yes. For someone to think that they are any better than someone else is the epitome of arrogance.

If others have done it, you too can do it.

Even if no one has ever done it, then be the first in history to do it.

-- Olugbenga Stephen ASAOLU

If you do something good to others, do you expect something in return?

No, that would be selfish giving of myself. Giving of oneself, in order to do good for others, should be selfless. You should do good for the sake of doing good. Always be humble in your interactions with others. If you have an opportunity to be the hero of the day, when all is done, simply walk away. Who was that masked man? It should be enough for you to know you did the right thing.

What is change?

The only true constant in the universe. It is the moment when what is, is not what it was. Each moment I am older than the moment before, rain erodes an infinitesimal bit of rock off of a boulder, a comet sheds more matter as it travels through space, and a lit candle flickers. Everything is what it is until it isn’t, and then it is what it is again, only different.

Why does being who you are, come with so much resistance in this world?

It is how we prove ourselves to ourselves. If there were no resistance, how would ever truly know our abilities? Resistance teaches us how to overcome and rise above it. How we deal with resistance helps to define our sense of moral ethics and, thus, who we are or will become. Resistance is simply another lesson we need to learn in life. It is a big part of our freedom of choice.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”

-- Bernard M. Baruch

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com